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1 - 19 of 19 Comments Last updated Jan 14, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#1
Jan 14, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: My son "Timmy" has a playmate from down the street I'll call "Bobby." I'm happy that Timmy has someone to play with, but Bobby's parents haven't taught him good manners. Even though Bobby is only 6, he does not have a curfew. He has stayed at our house as late as 10:30 at night without his parents coming after him or calling to ask me to send him home.

Also, Abby, I did not invite Bobby to my 4-year-old daughter's birthday party because it was for her and her little friends. Well, Bobby, his older sister and a friend of hers showed up anyway! I didn't have enough favors for the extra children. I was able to stretch the food, but I was aggravated that his parents didn't have enough respect for me to stop their children from crashing my daughter's birthday.

I was brought up to leave my friends' homes when it was dinnertime, but these children don't want to go home even when I ask them to leave so we can have our dinner. They beg to stay and eat with us.

How can parents be so inconsiderate as to allow their children to come over anytime and stay as long as they like? I want it to stop, but I don't want to cause hard feelings. How do I handle this?-- IMPOSED UPON IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR IMPOSED UPON: There is usually a good reason why children don't want to go home. Has it occurred to you that Bobby's parent(s) may be drunk, stoned or absent?

If a parent is reachable, explain to him or her that at your house you have a regular dinner hour and that it is family time. Guests must go home then, unless they have been specifically invited to stay. Also, after-dinner playtime is over at 8:30 p.m. and guests must go home by then -- but not walk alone after dark.

It may turn out that your son's playmate is a latchkey kid or being neglected. If the latter is true, then Child Protective Services should be notified.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who is more than 50 pounds overweight. It didn't happen overnight, and I completely understand that I am the only person to blame for it. I gained the weight because of years of unhealthy eating, lack of exercise and the birth of my two daughters over a period of six years.

Recently I decided to do something about it. I took the initiative, adopted a sensible diet and have started walking two to three miles a day with my friend, "Shannon."

Abby, on almost every occasion, Shannon and I are made fun of as we walk. It's embarrassing and extremely discouraging. We realize we are overweight. We don't need people calling attention to us or making fun of the "fat girls."

Won't you please let your readers know that struggling with weight loss is hard enough without adding the fear and anxiety of being made a laughingstock while exercising?-- LOSING SLOWLY IN OHIO

DEAR LOSING SLOWLY: I applaud you for recognizing you had a challenge and rising (literally) to meet it. When I see someone who's carrying extra weight walking or working out at a gym, what comes to mind is, "There's a person who is doing something positive about his or her problem."

Because a jackass brays doesn't mean you have to take it to heart. The individuals making those unkind remarks are trying to make themselves feel superior by putting you down. Please don't let it discourage you. You're on the right track.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#2
Jan 14, 2013
 

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LW1: "Even though Bobby is only 6, he does not have a curfew. He has stayed at our house as late as 10:30 "
WTF? That's got nothing to do with manners. That's a fail all around in parenting..YOU included.

What time does Bobby come over? Who feeds him dinner? Does he have homework? He's 6 GD years old. Instead of waiting for him to call it a night and accusing him of having poor manners for staying so late, how bout you be a friggin adult and say its time for him to go? Tell him that its dinner time. Timmy has to do his homework. Timmy has to take a bath. Etc. I could not imagine just allowing a 6 year old to hijack my evening schedule.

SHOULD he leave at a more appropriate time? SHOULD his parents come get him or call to tell him its time to come home? Yes. But you're the dumb ass allowing it to happen.

"I did not invite Bobby to my 4-year-old daughter's birthday party because it was for her and her little friends. Well, Bobby, his older sister and a friend of hers showed up anyway!"
But you let them in. You are a doormat.

"these children don't want to go home even when I ask them to leave so we can have our dinner."
You are a GD doormat. Kick them the F out if you don't want them there. Call their parents if you don't want them there. Quit acting like an f'n victim. You allow this to happen.

BTW, it would be terrible if any of Abby's doomsday scenarios are true,m and they could be, but this LW has no clue and is happy playing the role of victim.

LW2: "Abby, on almost every occasion, Shannon and I are made fun of as we walk."
Bullshit. I don't buy for a second that you are regularly being made fun of when out walking. Where are you walking, through a row of drunk frat boys?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#3
Jan 14, 2013
 
Team Tonka,

Whew! I'm tired from all that typing.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#4
Jan 14, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2: "Abby, on almost every occasion, Shannon and I are made fun of as we walk."
Bullshit. I don't buy for a second that you are regularly being made fun of when out walking. Where are you walking, through a row of drunk frat boys?
Maybe they shouldn't walk past the juvenile detention center during yard time!

Glad to see you're in such a chipper mood this morning, tonks!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#5
Jan 14, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe they shouldn't walk past the juvenile detention center during yard time!
Glad to see you're in such a chipper mood this morning, tonks!
I'm in a fine mood, but that LW was just a complete idiot.

Since: Aug 08

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#6
Jan 14, 2013
 

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LW1: It's really easy, dopey. Send Bobby home when you want him to leave, even if he begs to stay. It is possible to do this in a nice manner. My wife and I do it all the time with our kids, who like to play with a little girl Sophie, in our neighborhood. We simply say, it's time to eat and Sophie needs to go home. Then we ask one of the boys to walk her home ( it's just a few houses down ... mostly so as to teach them manners and how to treat girls).

When all these kids showed up for the party that they weren't invited to, they should have been told that you were having a party and were not able to have guests.

LW2: Ignore them and just keep on mooooooooooving, lol.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#7
Jan 14, 2013
 

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L1: I agree with Tonka. I've been in situations when a kid stayed too long when playing with my kid -- you just say it's time to go. THen you have them call their parent (or walk them home if they are close by).

As for the birthday party, I can't believe a few extra kids made a big difference. BUT if it bothered her she should have picked up the phone, called his parents and explained unfortunately they had other plans for the day and they can't host them. I'm thinking, though, that perhaps her kid invited them.

L2: Now here I disagree. There's a lot of HS boys and young adult males in my area as I live near a HS. The thing is, they screech and say things to EVERY female. They're kids having fun. Yes, it's stupid but boys are stupid at that age (most of them). I bet the same thing is happening to these two and they're taking it personal.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#8
Jan 14, 2013
 
Toj wrote:
L2: Now here I disagree. There's a lot of HS boys and young adult males in my area as I live near a HS. The thing is, they screech and say things to EVERY female. They're kids having fun. Yes, it's stupid but boys are stupid at that age (most of them). I bet the same thing is happening to these two and they're taking it personal.
Could be. My friend was out walking and some boys screamed "MIIIIIILF" and she didn't know if she should be insulted or flattered.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#9
Jan 14, 2013
 

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LW1: They don't want to go home because their home life sucks. Tell the boy he has to go home when it's time, but DO NOT put that stupid stipulation on it. The kid's been doing just fine thus far, let him walk home.

LW2: Turn you iPod up.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#10
Jan 14, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Could be. My friend was out walking and some boys screamed "MIIIIIILF" and she didn't know if she should be insulted or flattered.
I walked home from the train station. In the summer when it's light out, I get all kinds of hoots and hollers and sometimes derogatory remarks.

I laugh to myself and remember when I was 16 and stupid. Of course, I didn't yell things at people outside my car window but a lot of the boys I knew back then did. They did it to get a reaction.
Sam I Am

Cedar Grove, TN

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#11
Jan 14, 2013
 

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1. A little compassion mixed with discipline is not a bad thing. Tell Bobby's parents that you don't mind hosting once in a while, but when it is time for him to go home, they need to do their part. That conversation could also be a good opportunity to try pick up on whether or not there is something else going on with them.

2. what do you care what strangers think? You are proud of your progress, focus on that. Don't be so thin-skinned.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

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#12
Jan 14, 2013
 
L1: Team Tonka all the way.

L2: When I see overweight people out walking or jogging or biking, I think "good for you." Silently. I guess not everyone can refrain from making comments about stuff that is none of their business, but to the LW I say you have to let it roll off your back. Or come up with some snappy comebacks.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#14
Jan 14, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
L2: When I see overweight people out walking or jogging or biking, I think "good for you." Silently.
Ditto. And they're usually doing whatever they're doing faster and better than me.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#15
Jan 14, 2013
 

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j_m_w wrote:
L2: When I see overweight people out walking or jogging or biking, I think "good for you."
I think "dam, you're gonna have to walk a long way to burn THAT off!"

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

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#16
Jan 14, 2013
 

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There's no need to put obstacles in their path, eDog.
I just read the other day that the average human walks 100,000 miles during the course of their lifespan.
Believe it, or not.

Since: Aug 08

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#17
Jan 14, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I think "dam, you're gonna have to walk a long way to burn THAT off!"
I usually see a lot of overweight folks at the gym after new years. I think to myself ... they won't be here in a few weeks. I'm usually right. Unfortunately, old habits die hard.

I think a big mistake folks make is they buy bigger clothes as they put on weight. If you stop buying clothes in larger sizes, then you have no choice but to work out and eat better. Either that or become a nudest.

Since: Jan 10

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#18
Jan 14, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
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I usually see a lot of overweight folks at the gym after new years. I think to myself ... they won't be here in a few weeks. I'm usually right.
Nick said the same thing.

Since: Aug 08

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#19
Jan 14, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Nick said the same thing.
I hate that time of year (right now). The gym is packed and you have to wait for machines more frequently.

This year hasn't been so bad, but I tend to go during off peak times.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#20
Jan 14, 2013
 

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My regime of 12oz curls is unaffected.
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate that time of year (right now). The gym is packed and you have to wait for machines more frequently.
This year hasn't been so bad, but I tend to go during off peak times.

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