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1 - 9 of 9 Comments Last updated Mar 29, 2014

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Mar 29, 2014
 
DEAR ABBY: I'm 13, and my classmates are just beginning to "date." Sometimes what this means is, "Hey, do you want to go to my house, get drunk and have sex?" There's already a pregnant girl in our school. She's 12.

I'm trying not to get involved in any of this, but I'm constantly being teased for not holding a guy's hand, let alone not having had my first kiss. I have learned to deal with it, but my problem is there's this one guy who has been flirting with me.

"Jon" is sweet and nice, but he's part of the popular crowd. I'm afraid if he asks me out, he'll end up trying to get me drunk. He's different from the people he hangs out with, but I still don't know if I can trust him.

I want to stay a virgin until I get married. I won't drink until I'm 21, and I never intend to use drugs. But how do I say no if Jon asks me out and tries to have sex with me or gets me buzzed? I can't hide my entire junior high-to-high school life and not accept a date. Can you help?-- TOO YOUNG FOR TROUBLE, COLUMBIA, MO.

DEAR TOO YOUNG: There's an old saying, "Birds of a feather flock together," and it's usually true. If the price of being popular at your school is being pregnant at 12, then accept that you are better off NOT running with the popular crowd, even if Jon is "nice."

Not all the students in your class are into sex and drinking. It's up to you to avoid the ones who are and socialize with the ones whose values are like yours. If you do, you will never have to worry about someone getting you "buzzed" and taking advantage of you.

Before you go anywhere with anyone, your parents should have met the person. There should be a clear understanding about where you'll be, what time you'll be home and which adult will be supervising.

Equally important: If you ever find yourself in a situation in which you are not comfortable, call your parents immediately so they can pick you up. Got it? You don't have to be a prude, but you do have to set boundaries, and your parents can and should help you to do that.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in an awkward position. I started working for my uncle's plumbing business four months ago. I'm a laborer, not an apprentice or mechanic, so I don't know a lot about the trade. I'm not qualified to do a lot of the basic tasks like welding or pipe fitting, but I work hard. I come in early and stay late. I'm respectful and try to have a positive attitude.

The problem is most of the guys here regard me as the arrogant, spoiled nephew (which I'm not). They think I'm incapable and only got the job through my family ties.

How do I prove myself to them? I want to earn their respect. If I ask my uncle to talk to them, they won't trust me and it will make me look bad. Help me, please.-- UNDERESTIMATED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UNDERESTIMATED: I know it's difficult, but if you want to earn their respect, keep doing exactly what you are doing. Come in early, stay late and learn all you can about the business. In time, your efforts will be recognized. What you are experiencing is something that happens to anyone who enters a family business.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#2
Mar 29, 2014
 
1- Uh, yeah, if all of your peers are getting drunk and pregnant, find a different group of friends

2- "They think I'm incapable and only got the job through my family ties."

Well, let's see

You work for your uncle's business, you don't know a lot about the trade, you're unqualified to do a lot of the basic tasks...

Face it, your co-workers are right

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

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#3
Mar 29, 2014
 

Judged:

1

1

1. Letter was written by the mom not a 13 year old.

2. You DID only get the job through family connections. Own up to that.

When things are a bit slow or the job pressure is not on, ask one of teh guys to show you hpw a specific task is done. I know there are school run by teh unions for this, but every journeyman started somewhere. Some guys who are journeymen in one trade switch trades and learn another.
Cass

Salem, OR

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#4
Mar 29, 2014
 
LW1 - ITA with PEllen. On the off chance that it was written by a 13yo, sure you can hide and not accept a date. You also need to find another group of friends.

LW2 - ITA with PEllen again.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#5
Mar 29, 2014
 
1: Please. Most of my kids haven't dated yet by 8th grade! Teased? He's hanging with amoral arses who get drunk and have sex.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#6
Mar 29, 2014
 
1 Oh, you;re (for chel) one of those girls....

2 Team mutt
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

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#7
Mar 29, 2014
 

Judged:

1

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LW1: This is called "peer pressure". The sooner you learn not to give into it, the better. The 12-year-old girl's unfortunate experience is the example of what happens when you don't have your wits about you. You are on the right track. Be your own person and stick to your values. Drinking combined with immature young teens is a recipe for disaster. There are better ways to have fun. As for Jon, maybe he's a decent guy. But get to know him as a friend and don't rush into "dating" him. You are 13, very young. Adolescence is a challenging time, but try to enjoy it without trying to grow up too fast.

LW2: Team PEllen. Humility will get you farther than any other quality, although your positive attitude and respectfulness will also serve you well. Ask questions when necessary and be willing to learn from the more skilled workers. Understand that they are a bit jealous and resentful that you were hired due to your family connection. As your skill level improves, they will begin to see you as a peer.

“An Apple a day”

Since: Jun 08

nil carborundum illegitemi

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#8
Mar 29, 2014
 
1. Learn to say no, it's a very useful tool to have in life. Also learn to not care what anyone else thinks, another useful tool to have.

2. Nepotism. So what. It's always been about who you know.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

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#9
Mar 29, 2014
 
L2. Yeah, the plumbers and pipe-fitters can be a tough crowd. You gotta have a rough exterior to work those guys It is a dirty job.
They're testing you though. Maybe ask them what a monkey wrench is, or something like that. They want to find your breaking point, the plumbers do, if you will let them get away with it.

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