“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Jun 22, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old high school graduate working full-time as a general manager for a furniture corporation. I live at home with my parents, but I feel like I am ready financially and emotionally to move out into my own place. I'm afraid to tell my parents because we are so close.

My father has always said he won't let me move out unless he approves of the place, and he talks about random checkups of my apartment. If I move out, aren't I entitled to privacy in my own place? I shouldn't have to get my parents' approval or have them checking up on me any time they want. How do I approach them about this without it becoming a screaming match, or ruining the relationship with them?-- UNSETTLED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UNSETTLED: At 19, you are a young adult and no longer a child. You hold a responsible job and, I assume, have enough savings that you can afford what you are contemplating.

That your father wants to protect you is understandable because you are his child. Approach the subject by telling your parents you are "considering" moving out on your own, and would like your father to help you select a place that is safe. Do not be confrontational. If he refuses, you can still go looking on your own.

Once you are in and settled, you can then address the subject of "surprise" visits. Your father is not your parole officer, and it is respectful to call before dropping by.

DEAR ABBY: When did men decide it was "stylish" to wear a two-day growth of beard? I can understand men not shaving on their day off, but to go unshaven and wearing a tux just looks wrong. It is twice as wrong if they have gray in their beard.
Please tell the men of America to shave!-- STYLE POLICEWOMAN IN OHIO

DEAR STYLE POLICEWOMAN: As I recall, men started going less clean-shaven after the TV series "Miami Vice" became a hit. Five o'clock shadows became the rage, as did going sockless in loafers and wearing a lot of pastels.

On the right person, the look can be sexy -- as was demonstrated by hunk-a-licious actors Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, and British singer George Michael. However, I agree that when a man's beard starts turning gray, a clean shave is a better look because after a "certain age" the stubble begins to resemble that of an old derelict rather than a Hollywood sex symbol.

DEAR ABBY: I am the human resources director for a nonprofit organization. I hope you will help me send a message out to anyone searching for a job. Ninety-five percent of all the candidates I interview know little to nothing about the organization for which they are interviewing.

Please let job seekers know that most organizations are less likely to hire an applicant who has done no research on the company he or she is interviewing with. I wouldn't!-- SHAKING MY HEAD IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SHAKING YOUR HEAD: That's good advice. Not only should the applicant know something about the organization or company, the job seeker should be prepared to tell the interviewer why he or she is eager for the job, and how hiring him or her will enhance the business.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Jun 22, 2013
19 is young to be general manager . Also, if LW was such a management prodigy, she would be a heck of a lot more assertive from managing her employees and would be able to "manage" her father.

I am not calling BS, but she sounds naive.I'd be protective, too.

P.S. When you do get her own place, don't give her parents a key or you will have Daddy in the apartment if you don't answer on the 3rd ring.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#3 Jun 22, 2013
PEllen wrote:
19 is young to be general manager . Also, if LW was such a management prodigy, she would be a heck of a lot more assertive from managing her employees and would be able to "manage" her father.
I am not calling BS, but she sounds naive.I'd be protective, too.
P.S. When you do get her own place, don't give her parents a key or you will have Daddy in the apartment if you don't answer on the 3rd ring.
That's what I thought. I suspect that she does not know the name for her position and thinks it is "general manager."

ITA with all you said.

LW2 - Other people's dress and grooming styles are sooooooo none of your business! Unless you are kissing them, the guys' stubble don't bother you none, so stop seething.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#4 Jun 22, 2013
PEllen wrote:
19 is young to be general manager .
"General manager at a furniture corporation" translates to: sole employee at a mom and pop store.

I'm betting she's an only child. Not that that has anything to do with anything, just an observation.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#5 Jun 22, 2013
2- Screw off, lady. And I thought gray hair is supposed to make a man look more distinguished? As some of the regs could testify, I'm light years away from being even remotely good-looking, but I think a couple days worth of stubble makes my appearance a bit less horrendous.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#6 Jun 22, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>.
I'm betting she's an only child. Not that that has anything to do with anything, just an observation.
Or Asian. Or possibly Greek or Italian. They seem to have that hover-y "Why would you move out when you're only 35?" mentality.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#7 Jun 22, 2013
Wouldn't bnlame those bearded guys if they laugh in LW2's face--and don't date her. She's giving Ohio women a silly name.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#8 Jun 22, 2013
L2: Beards can be hot, especially with a bit o gray. Mustaches, OTOH, ew. The bigger question is why the LW is such a controlling freak.

L3: Duh.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#9 Jun 22, 2013
L1:'Approach the subject by telling your parents you are "considering" moving out on your own, and would like your father to help you select a place that is safe. Do not be confrontational."

I disagree. She needs to find her own place and not even warn her parents. Get a place, get it paid for, then give them the good news. Do not let them bully you into changing your mind.

L2: Fk you.

L3; "Ninety-five percent of all the candidates I interview know little to nothing about the organization for which they are interviewing." that sounds like a pretty big exaggeration to me.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#10 Jun 23, 2013
LW1: Whenever you move out--whether it's now or 10 years from now--do NOT give your parents a key. Your father is a control freak who will dominate your life for as long as you let him.

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