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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#61 Apr 29, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
Still disagree. If dad cheats on mom, but they have decided to try to work thru it, it is your contention that Jr deserves to know?
Nope. And never said he did
Mister Tonka wrote:
until it directly affects him, as if they are divorcing and his life and living conditions change.
Which is exactly what I alluded to
Mister Tonka wrote:
Children are not entitled to know the sordid details of their parents marital problems. Good parents try to shield their kids from this type of conflict, not purposely involve them.
Okay thank you. Now, do you have a rebuttal to my comments?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#62 Apr 29, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope. And never said he did
<quoted text>
Which is exactly what I alluded to
<quoted text>
Okay thank you. Now, do you have a rebuttal to my comments?
Ok. If my example does not jibe with what you mean when you say "having a right to know what's going on in your parents' marriage" then feel free to clarify.

Mom and dad having problems based on one's infidelity seems to fit the description of "what's going on in the marriage".

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#63 Apr 29, 2014
No one has endorsed getting a divorce and not telling the kids, just not involving them in any conflict that may(or may not) lead to a divorce. Your wording certainly makes it seem like you endorse keeping them in the loop during times of conflict.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#64 Apr 29, 2014
If mom and dad are planning on getting a divorce, you deserve to know about it, adult on your own or not. If you discover one of them is cheating, you should bring it up to the other one. It seems we are in agreement on this. Involving the kids into the sordid details on your own volition is something I never said, yet you seem to draw that conclusion. As usual, I will not attempt to defend, or explain, a claim I never made
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#65 Apr 29, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>point #2.
What's worse, dad being embarrassed if it turns out they have an open relationship or dad being betrayed while his daughter knew and kept it to herself?
It's an ugly situation and a judgment call. The parents were on the verge of separation two years ago. The daughter snooped because she suspected that Mom was cheating. If the daughter who doesn't even live at home suspects Mom of cheating, do you think Dad is so clueless that he does not??? Daughter is not betraying Dad. If Dad does not know, he will soon find out. The truth has a way of coming out. I would not advise daughter to get in the middle of this ugly mess.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#66 Apr 29, 2014
In terms of a child, I think we can agree, that our view would be tempered by the knowledge that their (offering or withholding) of evidence would be driven by their wish to make things better, or right, or livable or whatever. Basically whatever they chose to do would not be to hurt the accused, but to try and mend.
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Pondering it some more, I'm not so sure I'd want my child to tell me b/c I would not want to know that burden was placed on him.

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