Comments
1 - 20 of 31 Comments Last updated Oct 29, 2012
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#1
Oct 29, 2012
 
DEAR ABBY: The other day at my in-laws', my mother-in-law, father-in-law, "Bert," and I were in their computer room. Bert has pictures of his family posted on his bulletin board and we often look at them when we're in the room.

One of the photos he posted recently I found disturbing. It was of a young, well-endowed woman in her early 20s wearing a tight tube top. What disturbed me was that Bert has printed my 16-year-old daughter's name underneath and the date "2017." When I asked him about it, he said that was what she will look like at 21. My mother-in-law said she thought it was crude, and I think it's unnerving for a grandfather to be picturing his only granddaughter in such a manner.

We have a great family life and I wouldn't want that to end over a picture, but I don't want to look at it, and I don't think this is behavior that's expected from a man in his 60s.

How should I broach the subject that the photo needs to come down?-- CONCERNED FATHER FROM GREAT LAKES

DEAR CONCERNED FATHER: Grandpa "Bert" appears to be a dirty old man. I'm not sure "you" should talk to him about this. It would have more impact if you, your wife and your mother-in-law do it together. When you do, tell him that putting your daughter's name under the picture was in poor taste and you all want the picture with your daughter's name shredded.(That way you're sure it's gone.)

Privately, your wife should ask your daughter if Grandpa Bert has ever done anything that made her uncomfortable. If the answer is yes, confront him. If not, explain your concerns to your daughter, tell her you and your wife love her, and she can always come to you with any concerns of her own.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a young mother who dropped out of high school because I didn't have enough credits. I started a great job in fast food and have a very understanding boss. I met my boyfriend at work. We've lived together since before my son was born and he has helped me to raise my boy.(His biological dad left me and has had no contact since I was two months pregnant.)

Lately I have been incredibly depressed. I'm nowhere I wanted to be in life, miserable in my relationship and have started to hate my job. I'm clinically diagnosed as bipolar and on medication. I have also been seeing a therapist since I was very young. I don't know what to do. I don't want to throw my life away. I love my son and want the best for him. Any advice on how to pick myself up?-- DOWN DEEP IN CLEVELAND

DEAR DOWN DEEP: Yes. Tell your therapist that you are cycling into a depression. Your medications may need to be adjusted. Next, explore completing your high school education by getting a GED degree, which may widen your employment opportunities. Once you're feeling better, you should consider whether you want to end the romantic relationship you have with your boyfriend. When your emotions are on an even keel, you'll be better able to make that decision.

P.S. If you're not receiving child support, contact the department of social services in your state, because your child's father should have been contributing regularly.

DEAR ABBY: When filling salt and pepper shakers that aren't marked, does the salt go into the one with the fewer holes on the top?-- PLEASE PASS THE SALT

DEAR PLEASE PASS THE SALT: There is no set rule. Although traditionally the salt shaker is the one with more holes, because doctors now advise Americans to cut back on our salt intake, it might make more sense to put it into the shaker with fewer holes.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#2
Oct 29, 2012
 
1 I doubt he is a perv, not sneaky enough.

2 I bet your all of 18 too aren't you?

3 Somebody finally wrote in with a valid question.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#3
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

L2: "a great job in fast food". Fake letter.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#4
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

2

1

1

LW1: Ewwww. That's f'd up.

LW2: So, you dropped out of high school to become a burger flipper at a fast food joint, got knocked up by some guy who is no longer in your life and had his baby, and you are depressed because your life stinks. I can’t imagine why…

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#5
Oct 29, 2012
 
Matilda77 wrote:
L2: "a great job in fast food". Fake letter.
Or maybe not, which is even sadder.

Did it sound like she was cycling between being up and going into depression within the body of the lettter?

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#6
Oct 29, 2012
 
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: Ewwww. That's f'd up.
LW2: So, you dropped out of high school to become a burger flipper at a fast food joint, got knocked up by some guy who is no longer in your life and had his baby, and you are depressed because your life stinks. I can’t imagine why…
You took my answers!

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#7
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
You took my answers!
I just don't understand what went wrong with LW2. She had such a promising future when she dropped out of school and decided to go into the fast food industry. It's probably Barack Obama's fault, lol.
dahgts

Chicago, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#8
Oct 29, 2012
 
L3: Have I been putting the salt and pepper in the wrong shakers? OMG...I made a serious faux pas with my formal table settings. Hope Martha Stewart is not seeing this.

Grinders now solve this life-altering problem.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#9
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

1

L1: It makes sense to have his wife and MIL talk to him but I don't think I could have waited. I would have demanded right there to take that shyte down. As for not sneaky enough to be a perv, some people are pervs right up front and then fake like they don't know what you are talking about. A perv is a perv -- and he's a perv.

L2: Risky behavior, starting and stopping things and not completing them, up and down -- all things bipolar. Get your meds checked.

L3: I would have googled the question, not asked Abby. Strange what people will take their time to write in about.
Sam I Am

Cedar Grove, TN

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#10
Oct 29, 2012
 
1. That would have been addressed right then and there. That is pervy. And I would definitely keep an eye on how your daughter acts around him to see if there are any signs.

2. Again, people, you ask Abby about wedding gifts and nosy neighbors, not significant medical/psychological issues.

3. THIS is what Abby is for.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#11
Oct 29, 2012
 
LW1: Ew, ew, ew! And I'm not talking about a sheep!

Grandpa needs to be clued in on how really inappropriate that is. I have a feeling your MIL is already working on it, but make sure you and your wife follow up.

LW2: Run away and join the Peace Corps? I don't know how you expected Abby to really help you with this; it's not like has a magic wand, yanno.

LW3: Salt should go in the bigger/more holed one, but then the pepper never comes out.

Or you could do like my mom and get the fancy little dishes and tiny little spoons for the salt. But don't leave the silver spoon in the salt! It will corrode it.

Can you tell that's been said at Christmas dinner more than once?

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#12
Oct 29, 2012
 
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I just don't understand what went wrong with LW2. She had such a promising future when she dropped out of school and decided to go into the fast food industry. It's probably Barack Obama's fault, lol.
Heh. I was going to say that with all those brilliant choices she keeps making, it's truly amazing that she's depressed.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#13
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

1

L1: Bert's WIFE is an idiot for allowing that to remain posted. Shame on both of them.

Gross.

"Privately, your wife should ask your daughter if Grandpa Bert has ever done anything that made her uncomfortable. If the answer is yes, confront him."

Hmm. Depending on her answer, then I think I'd go to the cops before confronting him.

L2: "I'm a young mother who dropped out of high school because I didn't have enough credits." I can see that you're not very bright if this is the logic you use.

L3: I believe salt generally goes into the shaker with more holes.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#14
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

2

2

1

LW1: I don't have daughters, so I can make a good judgement call, but if my mom or dad had a shirtless pictue of the Rock or Ryan Reynolds(that mfr is ripped!) with the label "Tonka Jr in 2026", I would not think it was skeezy.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#15
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

1

1

squishymama wrote:
LW3: Salt should go in the bigger/more holed one, but then the pepper never comes out?
That is why we put the salt in the one with fewer holes: cause it comes out easier. Pepper needs a little more help, so we put it ini the one with more holes.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#16
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

Mister Tonka wrote:
LW1: I don't have daughters, so I can make a good judgement call, but if my mom or dad had a shirtless pictue of the Rock or Ryan Reynolds(that mfr is ripped!) with the label "Tonka Jr in 2026", I would not think it was skeezy.
How about if your mom had a picture posted of a young man, age 21 or so, with a huge bulge in his speedo, and wrote your son's name on it?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#17
Oct 29, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>That is why we put the salt in the one with fewer holes: cause it comes out easier. Pepper needs a little more help, so we put it ini the one with more holes.
That's the smart way. But I was taught the proper way, and my proper great aunt would have had a fit if pepper had come pouring out onto her mashed potatoes and gravy.

We barely use regular salt at my house, so this point is really moot. We have some salt/spice mixes that get used daily, but they come in their own shaker and the refills come in little baggies. We have one salt grinder that I think I've refilled once in about 5 years.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#18
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

2

2

1

RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
How about if your mom had a picture posted of a young man, age 21 or so, with a huge bulge in his speedo, and wrote your son's name on it?
So "a young, well-endowed woman in her early 20s wearing a tight tube top" is the equivalent of a speedo? I remember my mom wearing tube tops when I was a kid. I can't say that I see a similarity. If the pic was of some busty chick topless holding her hands over her boobs or wearing a thong and pointing her ass at the camera, then I could see the comparison.

Again, I don't have daughters, so my perspective is different.
EJG

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#19
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

edogxxx wrote:
DEAR ABBY: The other day at my in-laws', my mother-in-law, father-in-law, "Bert," and I were in their computer room. Bert has pictures of his family posted on his bulletin board and we often look at them when we're in the room.
One of the photos he posted recently I found disturbing. It was of a young, well-endowed woman in her early 20s wearing a tight tube top. What disturbed me was that Bert has printed my 16-year-old daughter's name underneath and the date "2017." When I asked him about it, he said that was what she will look like at 21. My mother-in-law said she thought it was crude, and I think it's unnerving for a grandfather to be picturing his only granddaughter in such a manner.
We have a great family life and I wouldn't want that to end over a picture, but I don't want to look at it, and I don't think this is behavior that's expected from a man in his 60s.
How should I broach the subject that the photo needs to come down?-- CONCERNED FATHER FROM GREAT LAKES
DEAR CONCERNED FATHER: Grandpa "Bert" appears to be a dirty old man. I'm not sure "you" should talk to him about this. It would have more impact if you, your wife and your mother-in-law do it together. When you do, tell him that putting your daughter's name under the picture was in poor taste and you all want the picture with your daughter's name shredded.(That way you're sure it's gone.)
Privately, your wife should ask your daughter if Grandpa Bert has ever done anything that made her uncomfortable. If the answer is yes, confront him. If not, explain your concerns to your daughter, tell her you and your wife love her, and she can always come to you with any concerns of her own.
Grandpa "Bert" IS a dirty old man and his wife should have taken the picture down immediately and had it shredded on the spot. The fact that she did not do so makes her as bad as her husband.
I don't know if she can be trusted to be of any help here.
Julie

Chicago, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#20
Oct 29, 2012
 

Judged:

1

PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Or maybe not, which is even sadder. Did it sound like she was cycling between being up and going into depression within the body of the lettter?
TOTALLY. I said "Bipolar!" to myself before I even got to that part of the letter.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Other Recent Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 10 min Yeah 1,096,108
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 1 hr Whiny1 4,640
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 1 hr LRS 176,797
Word (Dec '08) 1 hr andet1987 4,633
Last word + 2 (Mar '12) 1 hr andet1987 557
Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil U... (Dec '10) 1 hr Ace 49,265
Abby 8-15 1 hr Kuuipo 19
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 6 hr Toj 97,823

Search the Chicago Forum:
•••
•••
•••

Chicago Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••