“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Aug 22, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My son's wife passed away very recently. He works days, so I have been helping him by looking after his 15-year-old daughter, "Leyla."

Leyla recently told her father that her boyfriend, "Dylan," has asked her to vandalize things -- TV, Blu-ray player, etc.-- if her daddy enrolls her in a private school or moves her to another school closer to his company for a better education. Leyla's grades aren't good, and she spends most of her time chatting or texting with Dylan.

Abby, I'm really worried. The last thing Dylan asked her to do was kill her daddy because "he controls her too much." Before school ended, Dylan skipped a field trip. He didn't want Leyla to participate either because he feared that without him, she might have a chance to make friends with others, so she didn't turn in her paperwork and stayed home.

We plan to send her to a psychologist in the coming weeks. Should we bring this problem to the attention of her school principal? Thank you for your help.-- WORRIED SICK IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORRIED SICK: I'm glad your granddaughter will soon see a therapist. I'm sure they'll have a lot to talk about.

Because Leyla is in constant communication with Dylan, take her cellphone away and monitor her activity on the computer. That he would ask her to damage property or cause physical harm to another person is something that should be immediately reported not only to the school principal, but also to his parents and the police. This young man could be dangerous to the adults in your family, as well as to your granddaughter unless there is an intervention now.

DEAR ABBY: I have been feeling super alone lately. I'm a full-time, stay-at-home mom. My fiance and I have an 11-month-old son. Before he was born, I worked and my fiance didn't. Then we moved away from my family to where his family is -- a town of about 400 people -- and he works while I stay home with the baby.

This is a small town, and I have no friends here. I have been feeling extremely stir-crazy and trapped in my head. I don't know how to handle it. I spoke to a psychiatrist. She said it'll pass, but it hasn't.

Please, if you have any advice, I need some badly.-- STUCK IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR STUCK: In many small Southern towns, the social life revolves around the church. If you and your fiance haven't joined one, you should consider it. If you do, your chances of making friends -- possibly with some other young couples -- will be improved. Also consider volunteering or going to a nearby larger town to look for activities. I hope this will help to relieve your sense of isolation.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Aug 22, 2014
1 Time to call Rocko and have him chat with Dylan

2 Relax, you have the rest of your life to work, just enjoy raising the kid. You can always start an online porn site if your that bored.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#3 Aug 22, 2014
1- stop referring to your son as "daddy!" Anyway, he is the one who needs to step up and scare a little reality into the little punk

2- well, your 11 month old son should be your first priority, but church is a good idea, if you're not into that, see if you can find friends on Craig's list
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#4 Aug 22, 2014
Has Leyla's father called the police? Dylan's threat to kill him justifies a police report.

Can someone in LW2's husband's family introduce her to a lady who also has a small child?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#5 Aug 22, 2014
L1: Everyone is in the throws of grief. This Dylan guy is taking advantage. I'd contact the parents, the school and the police and get the dad has to get a restraining order from this guy so if he comes around he can have him arrested.

L2: Not knowing what you did for a living makes it difficult to suggest something, but perhaps there is some consulting work you can do from home to start with. That would give you adult connections and use your mind. As for outside contacts, start with the church if you're into that. If not, see if you can volunteer either at school or somewhere else.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#6 Aug 22, 2014
1: Yes, tell the principal and Dylan's parents what has been going on. Don't be surprised if Dylan's parents aren't inclined to believe you or if they day it's your granddaughter who is the one leading their son astray. If the latter is the case, you just tell them that what they do with their son is their choice but you felt they should be aware of his behavior so they could intervene. Also tell them that you are at least on the same page with each other since you too feel that the two young people should be separated. Getting your granddaughter to a therapist is also the right way to go. It would be better if you could get her there even sooner because it sounds as though she's in a lot of trouble. Yes, take her cell phone away or see if it's possible to make it so she can only call home or 911 and no other numbers. They used to have cell phones like that for kids. Also restrict her computer usage to one that does not have internet access. But considering that so much technology is available through the library, school, and friends, it may be an impossible task to completely keep these two from contacting one another.

2: Do churches welcome couples who are living together and procreating without the benefit of marriage? In the "old days," many wouldn't. It's possible this couple would be seen as sinners and not welcome among "decent" folks. That might even be the attitude in the small town where she lives and the reason she doesn't have friends. But I do realize that attitudes have shifted in the last decade or so. I think part of the problem is that it's difficult to do any kind activity during the weekday when you have a baby in tow. So volunteer work is something she'd have to do when her bf is home. But if she can do something of the sort just one evening a week, she'd be able to meet other people and make some friends.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#7 Aug 22, 2014
LW1: Absolutely tell the school principal, the school counselor, Dylan's parents, and the police. Dylan is bad news. I am scared for you and I don't even know you. You must do everything you can to keep Leyla safe. Thankfully, Leyla herself told her father that Dylan had asked her to vandalize things. Clearly, she has a good relationship with her father and a sense of right and wrong.(Who did she tell about the murder threat?) Seriously, go to the police now. Also, it would be a good idea to invest in some home security - house alarm and possibly cameras.

Slightly OT: Years ago, I worked at a company that had employed a young man who was no longer working there because he had killed his father and step-mother. He just blew them away with a shotgun. He's now serving a life sentence in San Quentin prison. There are some scary people out there, and I think Dylan is one of them.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#8 Aug 22, 2014
RACE wrote:
You can always start an online porn site if your that bored.
HAH! I was gonna suggest being a phone sex operator!

But seriously. She does not need to stay stuck at home. Take the kid to the park. Get online and find some local mommy group. Make friends that way.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#9 Aug 22, 2014
LW1: What Abby said. This dude is like out of a murder/thriller/crime movie.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Aug 22, 2014
I stand corrected. She says she's in town of 400 people. Good luck finding any mommy groups there. She's f'd.

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