Abby 1-20-14
Cass

Claremont, CA

#1 Jan 20, 2014
01/20/2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school senior. At the beginning of the school year, I agreed to drive my best friend to school in the mornings, and for a while it was nice.

Last month she started to refuse to talk while I was driving. If I tried talking to her, she wouldn't respond. She recently told her boyfriend (who she texts constantly while riding with me) that she didn't like my driving. I found out because of a post he made on Facebook. When I asked her about it, she said that morning I had slammed on the brakes and it scared her.

This has made me tense and stressed out in the mornings, and I want to stop driving her. My grandmother says I should stick it out instead of causing friction. My mom thinks I should stop driving her, but only if she can find another ride.

I tried to explain this to her, but she won't listen and I'm still stuck with her. This has ruined our relationship. I feel like she hates me, but I don't know what to do about any of it. Help!-- DRIVEN CRAZY IN FLORIDA

DEAR DRIVEN CRAZY: Your former best friend may have stopped talking to you on the way to school because she was too busy texting her boyfriend. She is ignoring the fact that you have been doing her the favor of transporting her and is using you as a private taxi service.

If she was frightened because you braked suddenly, the person she should have said it to was you. So stop "explaining" to her and tell her that if she wants to continue getting a free ride, she had better adjust her attitude or make other arrangements for transportation.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, the mother of a toddler, just had twins. We live four hours away, so I stayed with them for a few weeks to help her and her husband adjust to their larger family. It taught me a lot about how to help new mothers who are feeling overwhelmed.
It's not about holding the babies; everyone wants to do that. Instead, if you really want to help tired parents, do one of the following:

Take the older children to the park, the library, the zoo, to a diner for breakfast. Keep them happy and safe, and bring them home worn out.

Bring dinner or takeout when visiting. Wash, dry and fold the laundry. Get the kids ready for bed, give them their baths, read books to them and wait until they are asleep to leave.

Clean the house, run the vacuum, empty the garbage and change the beds. Buy groceries (the basics), including paper goods, and grab a box of gallon plastic bags, masking tape and Sharpies (to date frozen foods).

The gift of your time is ever so much more helpful than cute baby outfits that are quickly outgrown. Thanks, Abby!-- PROUD GRANDMA IN NEW YORK

DEAR PROUD GRANDMA: My warm congratulations on the new additions to your family. Your daughter is a lucky woman. Your letter should be clipped and saved by anyone who is looking forward to grandparenthood because it is a classic.

DEAR READERS: Today we celebrate the birthday of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., the visionary civil rights leader who was assassinated in 1968. Many of his words ring as true today as when they were first spoken.
The quote I have in mind as I write this is, "All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face-to-face with another problem." It applies to many aspects of life.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#2 Jan 20, 2014
OT

I am very, very sad to report that I just read on WaPo that Red (Angela) died last night of lung cancer she was diagnosed with in October. I am dumbstruck with the news. If anyone knew Angela personally (outside this forum) and has contact info for her and Nick, would you please pass on my condolences - from a total stranger? I only knew her here, but I can't help just wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. She was such a remarkable personality! Rest with the angels, Angie!
Blunt Advice

Jersey City, NJ

#3 Jan 20, 2014
I am so sorry to read such sad news. I know that many of you who post here are longtime good friends. I have enjoyed Reds commentary on and off over the years. May she r.i.p. My condolences to all family and friends.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#4 Jan 20, 2014
I too was saddened to read about Angela's death. It's weird how you can read other people's comments here over time and feel you know or at least have some kind of connection to them. At least we all share one thing in common whether we've ever met each other or not: we all like to read and share our thoughts on these advice columns. I always enjoyed Angela's comments even when I didn't completely agree with them. I will certainly miss her.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#5 Jan 20, 2014
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/angelanims

Here's her Caring Bridge site. You can leave condolences there.

She'll be missed in our little corner of the internet world, for sure.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#6 Jan 20, 2014
I am dumbstruck, and very sad.
RIP, Ang. You will be truly missed.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#7 Jan 20, 2014
Cass wrote:
OT
I am very, very sad to report that I just read on WaPo that Red (Angela) died last night of lung cancer she was diagnosed with in October. I am dumbstruck with the news. If anyone knew Angela personally (outside this forum) and has contact info for her and Nick, would you please pass on my condolences - from a total stranger? I only knew her here, but I can't help just wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. She was such a remarkable personality! Rest with the angels, Angie!
WHAT???? Horrible news! Wasn't she posting as recently as last week??? Ditto for me, please pass my condolences on to her family if you knew her outside of the forum. I will miss reading her sweet, funny, wise posts.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#8 Jan 21, 2014
LW1: Why would anyone give a person who treats them like this a ride to school? Tell her she can find her own ride.

LW2: I would prefer not to have a guest in our house right after a baby being born, but different strokes for different folks.
Blunt Advice

Cedar Knolls, NJ

#9 Jan 21, 2014
Matilda77 wrote:
http://www.caringbridge.org/vi sit/angelanims
Here's her Caring Bridge site. You can leave condolences there.
She'll be missed in our little corner of the internet world, for sure.
Thank you for the invite to this link. To say she touched the livew of many is an understatement.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#11 Jan 22, 2014
Julie wrote:
I am dumbstruck, and very sad.
RIP, Ang. You will be truly missed.
Even I'm in tears and I try to be unemotuional. On fun songs, I'll dedicate "Vincent",
"Baby Come Back" and "Everything I Own" in her memory.
pde

Bothell, WA

#12 Jan 22, 2014
This makes the third person I know who has died in the past few weeks. Red may have just been an online person who I don't know what she thought of me (I respected her).

The other two were the husband of of a high school friend, and the 16-year-old child of a long-term online friend.

RIP to all.

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