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Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#1
Apr 25, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: I was moved by the letter from Losing Slowly in Ohio (Jan. 14), who is 50 pounds overweight and walks every day with her friend to lose weight. She said that almost daily people made fun of them. My heart goes out to her.

I was in her shoes once. With diet and exercise I lost more than 60 pounds, and I've kept it off. But I was never ridiculed as she was. On the contrary, one day after I had just begun a daily 1-mile jog and was struggling to keep going, I passed by a man who cheerfully called out to me to keep at it, and one day you'll be a 10!

Abby, I can't tell you what that meant to me. I thought about his encouragement whenever I felt hopeless and was thinking of giving up. The memory of his kind words inspired me to go on. Thirty years later, I still think about his encouragement with amazement and gratitude.

We all have a choice: We can be kind to each other and offer friends and strangers alike support for the challenges we all face, or we can make ourselves feel superior by being cruel and demeaning. In the end, our choice shapes our character and we receive what we give, so we must choose wisely.

I'm sorry that Losing has met with only ignorant jerks so far. I would be honored to pay it forward and tell her how incredibly brave she is, and to encourage her to stick with it. Because she has the courage to keep exercising in the face of constant humiliation, I know without a doubt that she will reach her goals.-- WENDY IN COLORADO

DEAR WENDY: Thank you for your upbeat response. Many other readers were quick to weigh in with letters of support for Losing Slowly:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, have a weight problem, which I am working to resolve. But I can tell you from experience that the worst kind of discrimination is directed against people with weight problems. I have been insulted in the workplace, in restaurants and doctor's offices. I have not been hired for jobs because I am perceived as fat and lazy.

I am not lazy! I keep a clean house, work hard at my job as a secretary every day, and I am a good wife and parent. We may ignore it and pretend that it doesn't hurt us or matter, but I can tell you it is painful, demeaning, and it doesn't go away. I have been in meetings or at social functions and have had to excuse myself to have a good cry.-- STILL SUFFERING IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: Please let Losing Slowly know she has another option to continue her new, healthy lifestyle in a safe environment. I have worked in malls for years, and they have all had a mall walkers' club.

The mall allows people in to walk, including many seniors, before it opens in the morning. There she will have access to a place where everyone is on the same page. The walkers are safe from traffic, the climate, and morons who have the manners of a junkyard dog. The regulars there can tell her how many miles they can cover. It's a great society of people who support and root for each other.-- NEVER GIVING UP IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: I would suggest the two ladies create T-shirts that read At Least We're Trying! and watch the jeers turn into cheers.-- CAROL IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: I applaud her effort and your response, but may I raise the issue of people like myself who are ridiculed about being too thin? Strangers say things like Eat something, or the wind will blow you away! Please remind your readers that making fun of very thin people is just as hurtful as doing it to overweight individuals.-- WISP OF A WOMAN IN THE WEST

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#2
Apr 25, 2013
 

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Bleh! an entire meal of rehash? Too lazy to even write? Get off your fat arse yourself.

Since: Aug 08

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#3
Apr 25, 2013
 

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People really should just mind their own business if they can't say something nice.

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Since: May 11

"True Love Never Ends "

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#4
Apr 25, 2013
 

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I applaud those that have the grit, gumption and determination to make a change in their life.

KUDOS !!

Women often have a distorted perception of themselves. We, as women, should be more encouraging and uplifting to each other.

Very interesting video....please watch ....

http://youtu.be/litXW91UauE

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#5
Apr 25, 2013
 
Pissoff!
:)
Sublime1 wrote:
People really should just mind their own business if they can't say something nice.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#6
Apr 25, 2013
 

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I work with a woman who is very large and because of her *behavior* I have come to realize that she uses her weight and the associated ailments as excuses for her poor work performance and as a way to garner sympathy.

I would never be nasty to her or anyone else with a weight problem (judge not, lest you be judged) but it does tend to skew my internal dialog.

Since: Aug 08

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#7
Apr 25, 2013
 

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Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
I applaud those that have the grit, gumption and determination to make a change in their life.
KUDOS !!
Women often have a distorted perception of themselves. We, as women, should be more encouraging and uplifting to each other.
Very interesting video....please watch ....
http://youtu.be/litXW91UauE
That was cool. Yes, I don't know why women do that to them self. I see it all the time ... even with my own wife.

Today she was saying she wishes she had time to put on make up (she's meeting a friend who flew into Raleigh for a girls day and overnight) before leaving this morning and I said, babe, you don't need make up to look beautiful. It's true. She doesn't see it. Everyone tells her she is beautiful too ... patients ... people she works with. It goes in one ear and right out the other.

Since: Aug 08

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#8
Apr 25, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Pissoff!
:)
<quoted text>
LOL

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

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#9
Apr 25, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
Bleh! an entire meal of rehash? Too lazy to even write? Get off your fat arse yourself.
Ha, the original Abby and her twin Ann were both tiny, petite little women. Jeanne is a little taller than her mom, but also very slim! Hardly a fat arse.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#10
Apr 25, 2013
 

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VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
Ha, the original Abby and her twin Ann were both tiny, petite little women. Jeanne is a little taller than her mom, but also very slim! Hardly a fat arse.
Well, sure! She has plenty of time to excercize when she runs rehashes.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#11
Apr 25, 2013
 

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I think the original letter writer was full of crap or imagining things. Fifty pounds overweight is not that big. High school boys yelling stuff from their cars generally happens to females no matter where you tip the scale. Whenever I'm out and I see someone very large (much bigger than 50 lbs overweight) walking or working out, I think "Good for them."

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

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#12
Apr 25, 2013
 

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Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
I applaud those that have the grit, gumption and determination to make a change in their life.

KUDOS !!

Women often have a distorted perception of themselves. We, as women, should be more encouraging and uplifting to each other.

Very interesting video....please watch ....

http://youtu.be/litXW91UauE
I had read about that, but this was the first time I had actually watched the video. I can't imagine describing myself to a sketch artist.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

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#13
Apr 25, 2013
 
Yes, being overweight sucks. Some people can't help it, most can. Support those who try and just leave be the ones who don't. Being a jerk to them doesn't help and it doesn't make you look good. Anyone can pick on the weak.

Now where am I going for lunch?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#14
Apr 25, 2013
 

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Where you usually go, "The Trough" All you can eat muck and shakes.
I hear they have your picture on the wall as customer of the year.
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Yes, being overweight sucks. Some people can't help it, most can. Support those who try and just leave be the ones who don't. Being a jerk to them doesn't help and it doesn't make you look good. Anyone can pick on the weak.
Now where am I going for lunch?

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

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#15
Apr 25, 2013
 
Where is Gloria? This column is begging for her comments.

I miss her vitriol sometimes.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#16
Apr 25, 2013
 
ScarletandOlive wrote:
Where is Gloria? This column is begging for her comments.
I miss her vitriol sometimes.
She's like Beetlejuice; just say her name two more times!

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

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#17
Apr 25, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Where you usually go, "The Trough" All you can eat muck and shakes.
I hear they have your picture on the wall as customer of the year.
<quoted text>
Good one, Father of the Year.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

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#18
Apr 25, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
She's like Beetlejuice; just say her name two more times!
True.

Really Gloria. Really Gloria. Really Gloria.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#19
Apr 25, 2013
 
Glad you can appreciate the humor.
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
Good one, Father of the Year.

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Since: May 11

"True Love Never Ends "

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#20
Apr 25, 2013
 
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
That was cool. Yes, I don't know why women do that to them self. I see it all the time ... even with my own wife.
I know you don't have daughters, but I do .. and with my oldest I already see signs that she doesn't see the vibrant, carefree, beautiful young lady that she is.

We have distorted this image of what "beauty" should be and trying to measure up is tough on the mind.

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