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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Aug 2, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I have been a lifeguard for more than 30 years, and I continually see parents and other adults putting children in harm's way. Would you please remind your readers that they need to be vigilant around water? A drowning is nothing like they show in the movies.

As you take your family to your favorite swimming hole this summer, please be careful. If your child isn't a competent swimmer, never allow him or her to go beyond arm's reach. Never exceed the ratio of two nonswimmers to one adult. If possible, stay where the child can touch the bottom.

If your children can swim and you allow them to go into the pool, lake, ocean without you -- always watch them! Yes, lifeguards are observing the swimmers -- but no one on this planet will watch your child with the same vigilance that you will.

So put down the book, the e-reader, the tablet, the cellphone and actively watch. If you're chatting with friends, don't look at them; watch your child. It can take as few as 10 to 20 seconds for a person to get into trouble and slip without a sound beneath the surface. I guarantee you: Your parent-to-child ratio is lower than that of any lifeguard-to-swimmer.-- LIFEGUARD JOHN IN AUBURN, WASH.

DEAR LIFEGUARD JOHN: Your message is important and timely. Every year we read about families basking in the sun near water, and children who have lost their lives because the person who was supposed to be watching them became momentarily distracted. I agree the best way to protect against tragedies like this is unremitting vigilance. Thanks for giving me a chance to say it again.

DEAR ABBY: I have a brother-in-law whom I love dearly who lives out of state and stays in our guest room frequently. I try hard to be a thoughtful hostess. When he comes, we spend the first 45 minutes rearranging the guest room furniture because he likes the bed to face west. Currently, it faces north, as do the nightstands and the dresser.

I accommodate him, but frankly, it's getting very old. Am I being nasty to want our furniture arranged the way we're comfortable? Or must I allow him to rearrange it the way he wants it? He is here for only 24 hours and then leaves.-- GOOD HOSTESS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOSTESS: Your brother-in-law may be a frustrated interior decorator, or want the room to be the way he sleeps at home. A good hostess tries to accommodate the needs of her guests; however, if the furniture in your house has been moved, your brother-in-law should put it back the way it was before he leaves.

DEAR ABBY: Do you or your readers think it's acceptable for a father to ask his 21-year-old college student son whether he and his girlfriend of one year are sexually active? This is his first girlfriend.

I am his mother, and I say it's none of our business. My husband says it's a reasonable question; he just wants to give him fatherly advice -- like "be careful." -- MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR MOM: Would you still say it's none of your business if your son made his first girlfriend pregnant? I would, however, caution your husband to be more tactful about how he approaches the subject because a blunt question like the one he's contemplating could be off-putting. If he has birth control information he wants to impart, a better way to approach it would be to raise the subject without putting his son on the spot.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Aug 2, 2013
1- Enough with the dam PSA's!

2- He lives out of state and stays in your guestroom frequently? How does that work? Anyway, I agree with Abby, tell him he's gotta return the furniture the way it was before he leaves.

3- And it's also none of your business if he knocks her up, but it's called parenting. Get a clue.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Aug 2, 2013
1 Shaddup! If parents did their job, you would not have yours.

2 WTF? I would never ask that the guest room be rearranged to suit my taste. Tell him to sleep crossways on the bed if he wants an E/W body position. That is flipping ridiculous. Small wonder he is a bachelor.

3 Dad just wants to spank his monkey while thinking about his son's GF. 21 is way too old to have "The Talk" with your son.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#4 Aug 2, 2013
L!: I completely agree. LIfeguards can't watch everybody. Watch your damn kids.

L2: STOP ACCOMMODATING HIM. WTF? TEll him to leave the bed where it is or get a hotel room.

L3: He can ask anything he wants. THe answer he gets, however, well, all bets are off.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#5 Aug 2, 2013
1: today's PSA brought to you by lazy Abby

2: Can you say OCD? Don't let him stay!

3: "Use a rubber, son,"

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Aug 2, 2013
Lw1: she says no one will watch your kids with the same vigilance as you...as she chastises you for not watching your kids vigilantly enough.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Aug 2, 2013
Lw2: sounds like you are just tired of helping this freak rearrange the furniture. If so, tell him he's free to arrange it however he wants, but he'll be doing it himself and he has to put it back before he leaves.

Lw3: dad does not need to know the intimate details to dole out advice.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#8 Aug 2, 2013
L1: This seems to be a big complaint. Glad I was never a lifeguard.

L2: What a weirdo.

L3: Mind your own business.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#9 Aug 2, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw1: she says no one will watch your kids with the same vigilance as you...as she chastises you for not watching your kids vigilantly enough.
She's a He.

And fercryinoutloud, teach your kids to SWIM! Yes, I know that being a good swimmer doesn't prevent all drownings - but it sure as hell gives you a fighting chance! Every summer I hear and read of kids and adults who drown, often in fairly shallow water, and learn that they didn't know how to swim or were not good swimmers. Why?!

Last summer it hit close to home, a friend/sort of boyfriend of one of my granddaughters. He was swimming with friends in a not-too-deep river, and went into the deeper water to help another friend who was struggling. Well, she lived and he didn't. He was 17, and "not a good swimmer." How the !@#$%^&*( do you get to be *17 years old* and not know how to SWIM?!

Makes me cry when I hear stuff like that.

Side note: when I retire (another 10 years maybe?), if I'm still in decent physical shape, I'm going to get certified and be a part-time lifeguard! I will be old-lady-lifeguard and teach all the kids to swim, just like Mrs. Baker (MY old-lady-lifeguard) taught me :-)

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#10 Aug 2, 2013
Saluki Rod wrote:
2: Can you say OCD? Don't let him stay!
Maybe a Feng Shui thing? Or maybe the sunrise hits him in the face and wakes him up too early?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#11 Aug 2, 2013
L1: Some people are idiots and this PSA probably won't help. The type of people who don't watch their kids never think this stuff is about them.

L2: It might be feng shui or some religious thing. Doesn't matter, though. He should move the stuff back before he leaves.

L3: You should have had talks with him WAY WAY before 21 year old. Better late than never, I suppose. Yes, it is inappropriate. He shouldn't ask if he had sex but talk to him about it in life terms.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#12 Aug 2, 2013
Nope, OCD. The guy is a nutjob.
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe a Feng Shui thing? Or maybe the sunrise hits him in the face and wakes him up too early?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 Aug 2, 2013
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe a Feng Shui thing? Or maybe the sunrise hits him in the face and wakes him up too early?
That's what I thought.But he is still a pain in the a*s.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#14 Aug 2, 2013
LW1:*Some* of us already do this. <trying not to feel offended>

LW2: You've gone from hostess to doormat with this guy. I would not rearrange the furniture for him and if he does and does not put it back, that would be the last time he stayed in my guestroom. He sounds like a PITA.

LW3: I was thinking the same thing as Tonka.

“No. 1 Stunna”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#15 Aug 2, 2013
LW1: Kids who can’t swim shouldn’t even be in water without some sort of flotation device. If they have that, it’s kind of silly to expect parents to keep them within arms reach. You do need to keep a close eye on them, however.

Mine have been water bugs since they were tots and they are pretty good swimmers now. We still keep them within viewing distance when on the lake and make them wear vests, unless they are swinging from the rope.

LW2: You should have just nipped that in the bud and told him you’d prefer that your furniture not be moved around. If he doesn’t like it, then his feng shui a$s can stay at a hotel. What a rude guest.

LW3: MYOFB

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#16 Aug 2, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW1:*Some* of us already do this. <trying not to feel offended>
Don't be offended. It's a PSA for sh1tty parents, not ones that realize that lifeguards do not equal babysitters and that pool time with young kids is not "fall asleep on a lawnchair" time for mom.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#17 Aug 2, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't be offended. It's a PSA for sh1tty parents, not ones that realize that lifeguards do not equal babysitters and that pool time with young kids is not "fall asleep on a lawnchair" time for mom.
while I agree with you, those type of parents think being there is watching them and will probably won't think this applies to them.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#18 Aug 2, 2013
L2: Just wow. Stop accommodating this nutjob.

L3: The ship has probably sailed, but otherwise, what Tonka said.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#20 Aug 2, 2013
LW1: are you really a lifeguard?

Most kids who are in pools during the day, during the summer around here, are participating in some sort of day camp or sports camp. Their parents aren't there because, it's day camp.

My son's day camp group goes swimming daily, and they have a ratio in his age group of 8 kids to one adult (not even necessarily adult, given the teenaged counselors). His day camp is run BY the YMCA.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#21 Aug 2, 2013
LW1: Most of our beaches don't even have lifeguards. Watch your kids and make sure they can swim. And TELL THEM what to do if they get pulled by the rip current (swim parallel to the shore).

LW2: Let him move it himself and move it back. If he can't do that, he can get a hotel room and try moving THEIR furniture around!!! I think he really needs to be spending the night in a nut house, though.

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