amy 4-29

Posted in the Chicago Forum

Comments (Page 2)

Showing posts 21 - 40 of64
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#21
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't presume to know more about ANYTHING than I do. I don't buy in to the philosophy of "well, kids are gonna do what they're gonna do regardless, so I'm not even gonna bother."
I don't agree with this "hands off" approach to parenting.
It's very much NOT a hands off approach. You stay in close contact, let the child know you are interested in her life, let her choose which SCHOOL is better for her instead of telling her what not to do.

Kids will make mistakes. A senior in high school will be 18 shortly. You don't just become an adult. You gain responsibility for yourself little by little.

Parents should model the behavior they want to see in their almost adult kids (and kids of all ages, really). By this time in the girl's life, she has to learn to rely on herself and take responsibility for her decisions.

One way a parent could oversee this on their dime is saying you will pay for school as long as they maintain a certain grade point.
pde

Schaumburg, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#22
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't presume to know more about ANYTHING than I do. I don't buy in to the philosophy of "well, kids are gonna do what they're gonna do regardless, so I'm not even gonna bother."
I don't agree with this "hands off" approach to parenting.
Once the "kid" is 18, it is a different ball game. If you make life that miserable for them, they can choose to move out into a roach-infested hole, get a min wage job to support themselves, and wait until they turn 26 or can find a college to allow them to be independent for financial aid reasons. Then it really is hands-off; there's not a darn thing you can do to prevent it should they chose this path.

I know quite a few people with overbearing parents who did exactly that rather than let their parents use the financial aspect of college to control them.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#23
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Uh, you're a nonparent, too. And as long as she's dependent on her parents, what's she gonna do? Run away and go live with bf in his dorm?
What PDE said.

Plus, assuming they're both 18, march on down to the magistrate and come home with a marriage license. Move into married-student housing and get the above mentioned minimum wage job and fend for themselves. And it's almost a given in that kinda situation that SHE will be the one working to support HIM.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#24
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

RedheadwGlasses wrote:
You don't get to boss your 18yo around when it comes to her love life.
Ha! Right! Parents do it all the time. It's called parenting.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#25
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

VAdame wrote:
Plus, assuming they're both 18, march on down to the magistrate and come home with a marriage license. Move into married-student housing and get the above mentioned minimum wage job and fend for themselves. And it's almost a given in that kinda situation that SHE will be the one working to support HIM.
Then the parents need to make sure that doesn't happen. And allowing her to follow him to college isn't the way to do it.

You people are giving a stupid 17/18 yr old FAR too much credit and the parents not enough.

If kids are thinking that once they turn 18 they can do whatever they want, then the parents have already failed.
pde

Schaumburg, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#26
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
What PDE said.
Plus, assuming they're both 18, march on down to the magistrate and come home with a marriage license. Move into married-student housing and get the above mentioned minimum wage job and fend for themselves. And it's almost a given in that kinda situation that SHE will be the one working to support HIM.
Oh! and getting married may mean you become independent for the reasons of financial aid calculation.

I also know a few people who married each other in during undergrad for primarily that reason.(I think they've made the qualification for independence a bit tougher since then but am not sure.)
pde

Schaumburg, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#27
Apr 29, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Then the parents need to make sure that doesn't happen. And allowing her to follow him to college isn't the way to do it.
You people are giving a stupid 17/18 yr old FAR too much credit and the parents not enough.
If kids are thinking that once they turn 18 they can do whatever they want, then the parents have already failed.
If the 17/18 year old is really that stupid, how exactly do you propose preventing them from doing something stupid but entirely legal, such as marrying someone primarily to escape the parental household?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#28
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1. It would be helpful to know what the son has done to help himself, but the daughter is being a drama queen. It appears the son has a legitimate disorder, the daughter could be a bit more understanding.

2. Is the response fake? "Leverage" your daughter's choice of school? Riiiiight. Because you are going to be able to control her personal interactions for the rest of her life so why should she ever need to learn anything for herself?

3. Do. Not. Care.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#29
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Folks, we're going to pass the hat to get edog neutered.
And we don't need a very big hat....

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#30
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

2

2

1

My first hand experience on this is that even with a totally entwined couple, once they get to college, one of them sees the other possibilities and pulls away. It nakes for a cr*ppy 1st semester or 1st year but teh efect is teh same.

On teh first letter, I support teh sister who will not have contact with teh bi-polar brother.

I used to work closely with a guy who started acting aggressively weird. He followed the cleaning staff lady home one night up the expressway because he wanted to date her.

He held me hostage in my office after hours one evening to get me to admit I was having an affair with someone ( which I was not). He sent emails which caused a great many problems. I will not willingly be in the same office suite he is.

He left the company with 3 others,eventually hacked their computer files and wound up filing police reports against at least one guy claiming god knows what, but clearly paranoid delusions.

He was forced into treatment, but his wife left him, he was forced out of business and he caused a great deal of pain and upheaval to a lot of people. Some of the guys see him occasionally. He has never apologized or acknowledged that his actions had an affect on others as far as I have heard.

I can learn all about bi-polar , but mental illness directly affects other people in ways that cancer and diabetes, etc, does not and until the PR machine figures out how to address that, it is better to give those people wide berth.

The bi-polar people I know have a tendency to figure they are doing well and then go off their medications and start all over again.

This week a guy with Tourettes syndrome was removed from an airplane for repeating the word bomb over and over. I can "understand" Tourettes all I want but I am not getting on an airplane with a person saying that because I don't know what he might do in addition to waht is saying. The airline took the same position as I would

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#31
Apr 29, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Ha! Right! Parents do it all the time. It's called parenting.
You equate parenting with control. Fail. Very often parenting is about deciding to relinquish control, to let your child experience something, make choices, learn consequences, grow. The right choice for the parent is often not the right choice for the child. Do you know what is much more effective than control? Respect. Since you have little of either I am not surprised you don't understand that concept.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#32
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

2

1

1

The guy has had two violent episodes (that the mother is willing to admit to). I bet there were many more, and over the course of a lifetime where your brother is violent and/or abusive, you finally reach the point of self preservation and cut off contact. She is doing the right thing, and can any of you say that a violent bipolar person should be unsupervised around a 3yr old? Do you really think mommy and daddy are going to watch him 24/7?

I would not trust my kid to that environment.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#33
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

pde wrote:
<quoted text>
If the 17/18 year old is really that stupid, how exactly do you propose preventing them from doing something stupid but entirely legal, such as marrying someone primarily to escape the parental household?
Would you people listen to yourselves? Telling her she can't go to the same college as her boyfriend isn't gonna make her run off and marry him. Sheesh.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#34
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
You equate parenting with control.
No, YOU are.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#35
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

So its parenting when you tell an 18yr old where to go to school, but when a parent wont let their 3 yr old child go into a potentially dangerous home environment she's a beiotch?
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Ha! Right! Parents do it all the time. It's called parenting.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#36
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
No, YOU are.
No, YOU are.

"RedheadwGlasses wrote:
You don't get to boss your 18yo around when it comes to her love life.
Mutt wrote:
Ha! Right! Parents do it all the time. It's called parenting."

TSTI.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#37
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

RACE wrote:
So its parenting when you tell an 18yr old where to go to school, but when a parent wont let their 3 yr old child go into a potentially dangerous home environment she's a beiotch?
<quoted text>
Yes. "Potentially dangerous home environment?" You sound as paranoid as the daughter. Does dude have history of beating up on three year olds? This is about manipulation and control, concealed under the guise of her child's "safety."

Your elected officials want to ban guns for this very same reason. You buying into it?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#38
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
No, YOU are.
"RedheadwGlasses wrote:
You don't get to boss your 18yo around when it comes to her love life.
Mutt wrote:
Ha! Right! Parents do it all the time. It's called parenting."
TSTI.
Thanks for reminding me WHAT I ALREADY SAID!

If you had a point, I failed to see it.

TDUAUTI
(Too dried up and unintelligent to insult)

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#39
Apr 29, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for reminding me WHAT I ALREADY SAID!
If you had a point, I failed to see it.
TDUAUTI
(Too dried up and unintelligent to insult)
Apparenty you needed to be reminded since you denied equating parenting to control when you clearly did.

Copycat.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#40
Apr 29, 2013
 

Judged:

1

RACE wrote:
The guy has had two violent episodes (that the mother is willing to admit to). I bet there were many more, and over the course of a lifetime where your brother is violent and/or abusive, you finally reach the point of self preservation and cut off contact. She is doing the right thing, and can any of you say that a violent bipolar person should be unsupervised around a 3yr old? Do you really think mommy and daddy are going to watch him 24/7?
I would not trust my kid to that environment.
I agree completely. THe LW's whitewashing of the whole thing gives you a good reason as to WHY the daughter didn't tell mom about this for so long.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Showing posts 21 - 40 of64
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

38 Users are viewing the Chicago Forum right now

Search the Chicago Forum:
Topic Updated Last By Comments
Israeli troops begin Gaza pullout as Hamas decl... (Jan '09) 22 min Yumpin Yimminy 67,815
IL Illinois Governor Recall Amendment (Oct '10) 31 min Corrupt Democrats 1,849
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 36 min edogxxx 97,502
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 36 min Grey Ghost 1,077,553
Abby 7-22 39 min edogxxx 1
Amy 7-22 40 min edogxxx 1
McCarthy: 'Very good leads' in investigation in... 1 hr bensleys thoughts 1
•••
•••
•••
•••

Chicago Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••