“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Mar 25, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married soon, and I need some guidance about inviting my aunt and uncle to the wedding. They live about 30 miles from us. We moved to this area four years ago, and we've had them over for dinner once and invited them another time. They declined because they were going to be out of town.

Abby, they didn't reciprocate, and in fact, didn't even invite us to their daughter's wedding, which hurt us very much. I had always considered myself close to these relatives before we moved here, so their treatment of my family and me has been painful.

My mother is telling me to turn the other cheek despite everything and invite them to my daughter's wedding. My daughter doesn't want them to attend and neither does my husband, but Mom is emphatic about inviting them "because they're family."

I would appreciate your opinion on this, Abby, because I'm between a rock and a hard place, and my emotions are pulling me apart.-- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN

DEAR BETWIXT: The bride's wishes should prevail. Her happiness on her wedding day is more important than the feelings of relatives who don't bother with you, her and your family. I have always said that one should never invite guests to a wedding hoping they won't show up, because they usually do.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an average 17-year-old guy. I love basketball, football and girls. The problem is I'm a player, and girls say I "use" them.

I'm not ready to settle down, and I end up hurting girls and breaking many hearts. How can I cure my player habits and heal some of the hearts I've broken?-- TIRED OF PLAYING

DEAR TIRED OF PLAYING: Apologize to any young woman you have misled. Then ask yourself, "How would I feel if I had been treated this way?" If you practice the Golden Rule -- "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" -- it will serve you well in most situations. If everyone did this, we could change the name of our planet from Earth to Paradise, and wouldn't that be heavenly?

DEAR ABBY: I have an older friend who is 70. She doesn't have much money. She was having blood pressure problems, so I ordered a deluxe blood pressure machine for her that cost $160. It wasn't a birthday gift; I was seriously concerned for her.

I learned this week that she "loaned" it to a friend. I wrote her a note and asked her nicely to please get it back because I didn't buy it for her friend (who has plenty of money), but because I was worried about her health. She is now not speaking to me, and MY blood pressure is going up by the minute because I'm so angry. Was I out of line or is she?-- HYPER-FURIOUS IN ARIZONA

DEAR HYPER-FURIOUS: Relax. Breathe. What you did was a beautiful and generous gesture, but the blood pressure machine was a GIFT. Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient to do with as she (or he) wishes. For you to tell her to ask for it back may have been well-intentioned, but it was the wrong thing to do.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "STUCK IN DULLSVILLE": Because you're convinced your job is a dead end, start sending out resumes. Jack London had this to say about stagnating lives: "I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong time. I shall use my time.... The proper function of man is to live, not to exist."

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Garden City, MI

#2 Mar 25, 2014
2- "Dear Abby, I'm so awesome. I'm such a player. I break all the ladies' hearts due to my Casanova ways. How can I learn to be less irresistible so the women don't fawn over me all the time?"

4- Thanks, Abby. And thanks for respecting my confidentiality!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Mar 25, 2014
Lw1: people like this baffle me. You have not seen them in 4 years. You are not that close. Quit trying to force it.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#4 Mar 25, 2014
1 Who put you in charge of the guest list? It's not about you, so butt out!

2 Young Sublime, you can never not be a player, it's in your blood.

3 Face it, you wasted your money.

4 Edog is right, its his letter.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#5 Mar 25, 2014
LW1: I will never understand why people get so worked up over this stuff.

LW2: I know this will be very hard for you to do, but perhaps you should take a break from the girls. Oh, what am I thinking, there's no way a 17 yo is going to stay away from the girls. Tell them you are not interested in a long-term relationship from the very start. Some will not date you because of this and the ones that will are going to be convinced they can change your mind. Part of the problem is the 17 yo girls think that they are in love at the drop of a hat, so be prepared for drama, drama, drama until you stop chasing every tail that walks by you.

LW3: A semi-expensive lesson learned.

LW4: WTF?

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#6 Mar 25, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw1: people like this baffle me. You have not seen them in 4 years. You are not that close. Quit trying to force it.
ITA and I don't get it either. Unless the aunt & uncle are rich and the LW is trying to make sure s/he stays in the will.
Blunt Advice

Oakland, NJ

#7 Mar 25, 2014
1. Save your money and don't invite them. But be prepared for them to find out via other relatives.

2. Date only girls with bad reps.

3. Save the receipt for tax write off.

4. Blah
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#8 Mar 25, 2014
Glance into the future for LW2:

After two years,
(a) two or three girls started demanding child support from him.
(b) a really pretty girl caught his eye--and used him
(c) he got called by the STD clinic to come in and get tested because
twelve different patients named him as a contact.
or
(d) other

“An Apple a day”

Since: Jun 08

nil carborundum illegitemi

#9 Mar 25, 2014
1. Another meddler. Let the bride be the bridezilla she wants to be. Who cares about the aunt and uncle, they sure don't care about you.

2. Oh sure, you are just SO popular and such a "player" that you had to write an advice columnist. Fake letter from a little, pimply faced wanna be.

3. Control freak much. Oh wait, you have ADD! That makes it alright.
Blunt Advice

Oakland, NJ

#10 Mar 25, 2014
boundary painter wrote:
Glance into the future for LW2:
After two years,
(a) two or three girls started demanding child support from him.
(b) a really pretty girl caught his eye--and used him
(c) he got called by the STD clinic to come in and get tested because
twelve different patients named him as a contact.
or
(d) other
d. After being a mediocre college football player, he got a job in sales and an office big enough to match his ego. After taxes and child support garnishments, check didn't amount to much. By 40, he was a bald chubby washed up loser and girls were no longer interested in him.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#11 Mar 25, 2014
Lw1: who gives a flying eff.

Lw2: "they call him heartbreaker, oh, oh, oh". it's hard being a babe magnet. Chicks always tryin to be all up on your jock and shyte. Just put em down easy, Mack daddy (that's what Siri on my iphone calls me, I have that b1tch trained, lol).

Lw3: you must be related to lw1.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#12 Mar 25, 2014
1.It is the bride's grandmother, not the LW who is forcing the issue. The LW is caught between her own mother and hers and her daughter's choices. Grandma is advocating for inclusion of her own sibling on teh list.

LW said she had not been invited to her first cousin's wedding but didn't say anything about whether her mom had gone or what her mom had said about LW's exclusion. Is it possible that the cousin had a very small wedding with immediate family only? We aren't told.

Bottom line, it should be the bride's choice , but he who pays the check wants a say. In a choice between Grandma and Bride, I vote for Bride.

I happen to think that the function of a wedding is , in part, to reinforce family ties and celebrate the melding of two families as well as a declaration of commitment to a partner The girls who claim it is all about, and only about, the B&G are the Bridezillas, imo

2. We used to call it playing the field and it used to be pretty common especially in high school. LW thinks he is the BMOC ( remember that one?) but my guess is that he is schtupping anyone who will oblige him and has realized that it is he who has the reputation. Turn about is fair play.

Try a spot of self satisfaction and stay away from the girls, but don't apologize. They knew what they were getting into. They are just miffed that they weren't able to convert you to a one-woman-man, er boy.

3. She didn't ask you for it, did she? You volunteered? Abby is right. Once you give a gift you have no control. Its called re-gifting.

Do you also check her house to see if she has eh Black Velvet Elvis you gave her on the wall?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Mar 25, 2014
PEllen wrote:
The girls who claim it is all about, and only about, the B&G are the Bridezillas, imo
Then I guess I'm a groomzilla, cause that noise about melding of families us a bunch of jibba jabba as far as I'm concerned. My mom had some friends she wanted to invite and I was cool with that. Same with my young cousin who wanted to bring his girlfriend. I looked at it as a party and if having a friend there helps you have a better time, ok. But its about US. This is our wedding. If it slso serves as a de facto family reunion, ok. But that is not on my list of priorities.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#14 Mar 25, 2014
LW1: This is your *daughter's* wedding. Not yours. And certainly not your pushy mother's (she sounds like a major PITA, btw). Your daughter does not sound like a Bridezilla about this (and your husband agrees with her).
Don't invite them. They won't give a flying eff.

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