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21 - 40 of 78 Comments Last updated Sep 6, 2013

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#21
Sep 4, 2013
 
Interesting, the house is not "Hers", it is still "Theirs" and the proceeds from the sale will probably be split between them.

So, she is no more entitled to live there than he is unless it is in the divorce agreement that she can live their till it is sold and he agreed to move out.

If not, then all bets are off, and if she does not like it then she should move out.

Since: Jan 10

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#22
Sep 4, 2013
 
I don't think he needs to know she's dating. They're divorced, not newly separated.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#23
Sep 4, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Interesting, the house is not "Hers", it is still "Theirs" and the proceeds from the sale will probably be split between them.
So, she is no more entitled to live there than he is unless it is in the divorce agreement that she can live their till it is sold and he agreed to move out.
If not, then all bets are off, and if she does not like it then she should move out.
We don't know what their agreement is, but the current situation of him barging in whenever is just not OK. Her other option is to move out and rent the house for 6 to 12 months until they get ready to sell it.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#24
Sep 4, 2013
 
Why is it just not ok?
As you said it all hinges on their divorce agreement doesn't it?
If it is just as much his home as hers, then it is perfectly ok. Rude maybe, but ok just the same.
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
We don't know what their agreement is, but the current situation of him barging in whenever is just not OK. Her other option is to move out and rent the house for 6 to 12 months until they get ready to sell it.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#25
Sep 4, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Blndsided? They are DIVORCED. Her love life should not affect him in any way. If they had no kids to somewhat tie the together, you would not expect her to give him a heads up. Hell, if they had no kids, there'd be no problem if they never talked again. I fail to see why having kids entitles him to any information about her love life.
Her love life SHOULD not affect him. True, but that is not always the way it works. As a predictor- a guy who keeps coming around eh marital home has not completely mentally finished with the marriage. Being surprised that there is another man present in what the ex still thinks of as "his" house could cause an uproar. As I see it, better to avoid that kind of blow up.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#26
Sep 4, 2013
 
The letter says they have been divorced officially for 6 months. In the vast majority of cases the marriage and the property division are finalized at the same time. That means if she is still in the house it is because the divorce judge stamped a piece of paper that said she could be there.

Unless you are re-making the movie War of the Roses, when you get divorced you don't live together any more.

Even if he could have access to the house in general, he should not be in her room. Let him get his own TV at his house.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Federal Way, WA

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#27
Sep 4, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
1- Abby was sure quick to blame the girl's father for the mother's estrangement.
No she didn't. With all that oxygen you're stealing I'm surprised you don't have better reading comprehension skills.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#28
Sep 4, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Why is it just not ok?
As you said it all hinges on their divorce agreement doesn't it?
If it is just as much his home as hers, then it is perfectly ok. Rude maybe, but ok just the same.
<quoted text>
Have you ever heard of a divorce decree that said the husband gets to have access whenever the heck he wants to the home?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#29
Sep 4, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Her love life SHOULD not affect him. True, but that is not always the way it works. As a predictor- a guy who keeps coming around eh marital home has not completely mentally finished with the marriage. Being surprised that there is another man present in what the ex still thinks of as "his" house could cause an uproar. As I see it, better to avoid that kind of blow up.
I agree. It IS none of his business, but that doesn't mean it's the wise thing to do to keep it from him if you're dating. Then again, I would give minimal information. Just a heads-up.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#30
Sep 4, 2013
 

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Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
No she didn't. With all that oxygen you're stealing I'm surprised you don't have better reading comprehension skills.
Can't you tell when he is jerking (your) chain just to get a reaction?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#31
Sep 4, 2013
 
What are you talking about? I have only been divorced once and the house was the X's before I came on the scene, so I have no idea what a divorce says about the house.

Do divorce decree's forbid the husband access to his house? Why? Its his house!

Besides, Since you chose to ignore it, I will restate that I already said that the divorce papers set the parameters, and I was speaking of the house not being explicitly forbidden to the husband.
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Have you ever heard of a divorce decree that said the husband gets to have access whenever the heck he wants to the home?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#32
Sep 4, 2013
 

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Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree. It IS none of his business, but that doesn't mean it's the wise thing to do to keep it from him if you're dating. Then again, I would give minimal information. Just a heads-up.
I disagree with you both. If he's got a problem with her dating, that's HIS problem. I don't see it as unwise at all. I might go far as to say its unwise to feed his "need" for infirmation about you that you have no obligation to share. Rip the band aid off.

Since: Jan 10

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#33
Sep 4, 2013
 
If she is awarded the house, then either it's paid for and she needs to get a quit claim deed to remove him from the home ownership paperwork (and it will protect him from lawsuits that may arise from injuries sustained on that property), or it's not paid for and he has to keep making the mortgage payment for some reason (like, he makes way more money)-- good luck getting him to give up a sense of ownership in that case.

Or it's not paid off and she has to refinance the house in her name only -- meaning he gets half the equity in the house, and then she still needs to do a quit claim deed to remove his name from the deed to the home.

What she needs to do is set him up on a date with a distant friend to get him to worry less about her and more about his own life.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#34
Sep 4, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
What are you talking about? I have only been divorced once and the house was the X's before I came on the scene, so I have no idea what a divorce says about the house.
Do divorce decree's forbid the husband access to his house? Why? Its his house!
Besides, Since you chose to ignore it, I will restate that I already said that the divorce papers set the parameters, and I was speaking of the house not being explicitly forbidden to the husband.
<quoted text>
To me, it's common sense. No judge would give two warring people common access to living quarters.

Hey, maybe you see it differently. Maybe there is a judge out there who would do it.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#35
Sep 4, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
If she is awarded the house, then either it's paid for and she needs to get a quit claim deed to remove him from the home ownership paperwork (and it will protect him from lawsuits that may arise from injuries sustained on that property), or it's not paid for and he has to keep making the mortgage payment for some reason (like, he makes way more money)-- good luck getting him to give up a sense of ownership in that case.
Or it's not paid off and she has to refinance the house in her name only -- meaning he gets half the equity in the house, and then she still needs to do a quit claim deed to remove his name from the deed to the home.
What she needs to do is set him up on a date with a distant friend to get him to worry less about her and more about his own life.
What she needs is a boyfriend who is bigger and a better fighter than the ex.:)

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#36
Sep 4, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I disagree with you both. If he's got a problem with her dating, that's HIS problem. I don't see it as unwise at all. I might go far as to say its unwise to feed his "need" for infirmation about you that you have no obligation to share. Rip the band aid off.
I really see your point, but living it is different when you have kids that you share custody or have to arrange visition. If all parties get along, it just makes things go that much better. It sux, but sometimes you have to do things to smooth it over. It's just the way it is. You're right, you don't have to. The ex will say he wants to know b/c he has a right to know who his children are exposed to or some other crap line like that.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#37
Sep 4, 2013
 
Visitation. Yes, I know how to spell it. Usually.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#38
Sep 4, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>doea he have any right to that info?
Hell no! My point is that's an indicator of him being a butter.

Since: Jan 10

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#39
Sep 4, 2013
 
Hmmm I'm going to ask Nick if he ever told his wife, "By the way, I"m seeing somebody."

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#40
Sep 4, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Hmmm I'm going to ask Nick if he ever told his wife, "By the way, I"m seeing somebody."
Kids probably told her long before he did.

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