“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 May 22, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently learned that our sister-in-law's adult son from a prior marriage, "Charlie," is now "Claire." My husband and I have three sons, ages 2 to 10 years.

This sister-in-law expressed concern that our 10-year-old would remember Charlie and say something inappropriate. She's demanding that we lie to him and tell him Claire is another daughter we have never met.

My husband and I do not lie to our children. We feel it is best to explain to all three of our sons that Charlie has decided to make a lifestyle change and let them ask questions if they choose. What is your opinion?-- TRUTH-TELLING PARENTS

DEAR PARENTS: I don't believe in lying to children either, but before you tell your sons that Charlie decided to make a "lifestyle change," I urge you to do some research about gender identity. It is not as simple on any level as changing an aspect of one's lifestyle. It is about who Claire truly feels she is inside.

If your oldest boy remembers Charlie, he should know that some people feel from an early age that they were born into the wrong body -- the wrong gender. Fortunately, there is help for it in the form of medication and surgery. He should be told that the problem has been solved and Charlie is now Claire. When the younger children are older, they can be told the same thing in an age-appropriate manner if the subject comes up.

DEAR ABBY: My children's father died of cancer about a year ago. As a result, they receive Social Security benefits as his surviving dependents. He had no life insurance, so this is all they have.
The problem is nearly everyone who finds out they receive this money becomes angry and jealous. Abby, these benefits came from his earnings and are meant to assist me in supporting the children he is no longer here to help with. We try not to mention the money, but sometimes it comes up in conversation.

How can people be jealous about money received from such a tragedy? Would they really want to lose a family member in exchange for cash? Please ask people to be more considerate in a situation where a child has paid a far greater price than any check in the mail could cover.-- SURVIVING MOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR MOM: I'm sorry for your loss. People, particularly in a difficult economy, can become jealous if they think someone is getting "something for nothing." (And depending upon how dysfunctional a family is, they might indeed be willing to "lose" a family member in exchange for cash.)

I'm passing your sentiments along, but my advice to you is to stop discussing finances unless there is a specific reason why the person you're talking to must have that information.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law picks her nose in front of others by covering her finger with a tissue and then digging deep into her nose. She claims this is acceptable behavior even though the rest of us are grossed out. She refuses to stop unless somebody like you tells her otherwise.

Please help with this. I have a 7-year-old daughter who sees her, and I don't want her to think this is proper behavior in public.-- GROSSED OUT

DEAR GROSSED OUT: It's one thing to use a tissue for a gentle nose-blow, and quite another to use it as camouflage for a major excavation. That your MIL is grossing out those around her should be evidence enough that what she's doing is bad manners. It is showing lack of consideration for those around her.

Saint Petersburg, FL

#2 May 22, 2013
LW2: Holy cow, why would you tell anyone this?

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 May 22, 2013
1 So is Claire gay now or was he before? If he sleeps with a man is he gay? what if she sleeps with a woman?
And why should the parents lie? Let charlie explain the whole thing.

2 children's father? Code for baby daddy? Anyway the ones who are jealous are your unemployed welfare sucking friends who are upset their baby daddy dont die and leave them money.

3 The mental of some woman shoving a finger wrapped in a tissue up her snot hole and pulling out chunks covered with black hairs is just icky,icky,icky!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#4 May 22, 2013
L1: Your sister is completely wrong and I bet your niece would disagree with her mother's demands. I disagree that you need to say anything to your two-year-old.

And I"m pretty sure that someone who has transitioned from male to female can handle the innocent comments/questions from a 10yo kid. THe trans people I"ve known are tough cookies.

L2: Why are you telling people you even get this money? Why are you discussing your finances with so many people that you're getting judgment raining down on you? Keep your mouth shut.

L3: If my MIL did this, I"d laugh and point. Mock her like the 4yo she is acting like.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 May 22, 2013
Oh, I"ve busted NIck's youngest picking his nose and eating it. I absolutely mock him over it. His peers don't seem to have done their job.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#6 May 22, 2013
1. Has anyone asked Claire? It shoukd be Claire who sits down with her cousins and explains. She knows teh words best and kids intuitively get when someone is being authentic as opposed to fake.
2. Team Race.
3. Lots of people do yucky things. The degree of yuck is cultural. Look somewhere else.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#7 May 22, 2013
1- If your 10 yr ld doesn't fully understand the intricacies of gender reassignment, you've failed as parents.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#8 May 22, 2013
1: Don't lie to your kids.

2: Keep your mouth shut. There is NO ONE outside of the bank/mortgage and credit card companies/the IRS that you need to discuss your finances with. You don't need to tell people where you get your income. If they ask, tell them it's nunya.

3: Ick. Gross. Gag...

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#9 May 22, 2013
L1. "Fortunately, there is help in the form of surgery and medication"

True. There is help for all kinds of different maladies. But one must remember, generically speaking, that modern medicine is still in its infancy in many aspects and that the effaficy of some remedies and surgical procedures remain in dispute within the health care establishment itself.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#10 May 22, 2013
Yeah, I meant to say efficacy for all you book worms.
Had to look it up again myself.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#11 May 22, 2013
LW3 Tell her to do that sheit at the traffic light like everyone else.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#12 May 22, 2013
LW1: Your SIL can demand all she wants; it's your kids and you should do as you see fit. If Charlie does remember Claire "before", then Claire should explain what happened. I don't think the other kids are old enough to remember or care.

LW2: What kind of ghetto folks are you hanging out with? Everyone in this scenario needs to keep their yaps shut.

LW3: I don't see this as being *that* disgusting; she is using a kleenex after all. And sometimes those suckers just don't want to come out.

Just ask her to please go somewhere the 7 year old is not if she just *has* to do this.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#13 May 22, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Oh, I"ve busted NIck's youngest picking his nose and eating it. I absolutely mock him over it. His peers don't seem to have done their job.
That's because they are all doing it, too. My four year old is going through this phase. It makes my husband want to vomit.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#14 May 22, 2013
ScarletandOlive wrote:
That's because they are all doing it, too.
No eff in way. Me or my peers never did. And calling kids "booger eater" was quite a put down. Sorry, honey, but your four year old is the oddball. I'd try to put a stop to that right quick.

Chicago, IL

#15 May 22, 2013
LW2: "We try not to mention the money, but sometimes it comes up in conversation."

BS, lady. There is *no* reason you have to give anyone this info. Just STFU.

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