Abby 3.20.14

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#1 Mar 20, 2014
DEAR ABBY: Due to various anti-drug lectures he was exposed to at school, my 13-year-old son believes that marijuana is not only illegal, but also is very bad for you. He said it is poison.

My state has recently legalized marijuana and I am at a loss about how to explain to him that pot is no longer "that bad," as people partake of it in a responsible manner going forward. Any suggestions?-- COLORADO MOM

DEAR MOM: Marijuana isn't poison, unless it was sprayed with a poisonous chemical before being harvested. The marijuana being sold to adults in the states where it is now legal has been carefully cultivated and harvested. Its use is not encouraged among teenagers, however, because research has shown it can impair brain development among young people.

Stress to your son that like alcohol, marijuana can slow reaction time and impair judgment and memory, which is why it's illegal for minors to use it. Whether it will become legal across the nation is still an open question. If it's abused the way that alcohol sometimes is, smoking weed may also be harmful because, like any smoke, it poses a risk to the lungs.
Happy Home Life Becomes Suffocating

DEAR ABBY: I moved into my boyfriend's home several months ago. In the beginning, he was very attentive and we had fun together. But over the last couple of months, he has become abusive and unbearable to live with. He orders me around and double-checks to make sure I'm doing things "his way."

I feel as though there isn't room to breathe and no way out. I have lost weight, and I'm having trouble sleeping now. I have no family or friends who can help me out. I want to end this misery! But how?-- MISERABLE IN FLORIDA

DEAR MISERABLE: Pick up the phone and call the National Domestic Violence Hotline ... Although your boyfriend's controlling behavior hasn't yet escalated to physical abuse, it very well could. The counselors at the hotline can help you to formulate a plan so you can safely get away. Please don't wait to make the call, because the symptoms you're having are ones of extreme stress.
Wife Is Not Always Willing to Share Her Table for Two

DEAR ABBY: We live in a small town. My husband is friendly and outgoing and seems to know everyone. We can't go anywhere without running into someone he knows. Meals out that should be quiet affairs turn into social situations I do not want to be part of.

I have wracked my brain as to a polite response to people when they say, "Join us!" I don't WANT to join them. How do we politely decline their friendly offer?-- "NOT TONIGHT" IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR "NOT TONIGHT": A polite way to refuse would be to say, "We'd love to do that another time, but it has been a long day and we just want to sit and be quiet." It wouldn't be considered rude unless you say it often.

If these people are friends, they should understand because not everyone is up for company all the time. It is also understandable if a couple has things they need to discuss privately.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#2 Mar 20, 2014
LW1: <puff, puff, holds breath, holds breath, holds breath, passes>

I say the same rules as are applicable to alcohol should apply when talking to your kids.

LW2: Move out and break up with him, duh.

LW3: Say "thank you for the invitation, but perhaps some other time ... tonight is our date night ... bow chicka wow wow" ... and most of all smile.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#3 Mar 20, 2014
LW1 got a good answer; and letting him look up studies on medicinal
uses for marijuana to include relief for cancer and hospice patients
may help him reconsider the conclusion he has reached. Besides, most teens think they have all the answers--and then realize they don't,
so he sounds like he's walking that well travelled road.

LW2 is giving Floridians a bad name. She needs to move out ASAP.
(Even helping out at a homeless shelter would give her a route of escape.)

Like Abby's, as well as Sublime's, answer to LW3.

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#4 Mar 20, 2014
L1: When my friends' daughter was around 10, she learned that tobacco is a drug. She came home from school crying, telling mom and dad that they do drugs (they have since quit smoking).

L2: What Sub said. It would be NICE if you had friends or family, but you don't. Presumably you weren't homeless before you moved in with this guy, so go back to whatever situation you were in then.

L3: "No thanks, maybe another time." You don't owe people an explanation.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#5 Mar 20, 2014
LW1: What Sub said.

LW2: The YWCA around me would help, maybe there's one near the LW...

LW3: What Sub said.


“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#6 Mar 20, 2014
L1: Excellent opportunity to teach him how to research and draw his own conclusions.

L2: Being that your money is probably tied up in paying the rent and utilities there, you probably feel trapped b/c you have no money. I'd check out the Y or check in with church's to help locate a place that could be temporary until you save up for your own place or get a better roommate. But DTMF.

L3: I'm with Jamwow. Be pleasant, polite but you don't owe anyone a detailed explanation.

“An Apple a day”

Since: Jun 08

nil carborundum illegitemi

#7 Mar 20, 2014
1. Tell him marijuana IS poison, so is alcohol and anyone who uses those substances has ADD.

2. This poor guy just has ADD. The LW needs to be understanding.

3. You can say no by growing a backbone.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#8 Mar 20, 2014
Lw1: jmw - i'm having visions of,

LW2: You lost weight? That's awesome!

Hancock, NY

#9 Mar 20, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
L1: When my friends' daughter was around 10, she learned that tobacco is a drug. She came home from school crying, telling mom and dad that they do drugs (they have since quit smoking).
1: Yes, I sometimes told teenagers that tobacco was a drug that kills people and told them about my mom, her difficulty in quitting, her health problems and subsequent death. They argued that if tobacco was legal, it wasn't a drug. I said sure and alcohol as well as a lot of medications available over the counter are legal but can still do you physical harm and even kill you if misused. Those over the counter medications are drugs; they're just legal drugs. Some (many?) of them were still angry that I said tobacco is an addictive drugs and some folks would call smokers addicts.

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#10 Mar 20, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw1: jmw - i'm having visions of,
LW2: You lost weight? That's awesome!
How about this oldy but goody?

"This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?"

Ah, the 80s.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#11 Mar 20, 2014
1- Yeah, lady, go ahead and tell your 13 yr old that drugs are okay. I'm betting you smoke around him too, why else would he bring it up? Great role-model for today's youth, you are. Idiot.

Plant City, FL

#12 Mar 20, 2014
1: What parent wants to spend energy telling her kid a drug is ok? Forget the drug and the legalization; it seems a weird POV to take. It's like she'd be disappointed if he DIDN'TT take it up. It's strange.

2: You're a friggin moron and I don't feel sorry for you. You probably moved in with a man you barely know to save money....where were you living before? This is why women stay in horrible situation, because they are stupid and weak.

3: No thanks. This is date night.

Chicago, IL

#13 Mar 20, 2014
LW1: I agree w/Dog (going to lay down now w/a cold cloth on my head). The only reason this is an issue for the LW is because he/she partakes regularly.

LW3: Why doesn't *your husband*(the one who "knows everyone") politely tell these people that the 2 of you would prefer to dine alone? Because he doesn't want to. THAT's your real problem.

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