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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 May 7, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm the happily married mother of two teenage boys. The other day I overheard my older son (age 17) talking with a friend about "twerking." I have never heard of it and now I'm worried. Is twerking a drug term? Is it similar to "tripping," "getting high" or "catfishing"?

My 17-year-old is supposed to go to Princeton next year on a sports scholarship, and I'm afraid "twerking" will derail him from his charted path. Thank you for any advice you may have.-- TROUBLED MOM IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR MOM: Don't panic. "Tripping" and "getting high," as you already know, refer to altered states of consciousness as the result of using drugs. "Catfishing" is something else. It's pretending to be someone you aren't, creating a false identity on social media, usually to pursue a deceptive online romance.

The "twerking" your son was referring to is a dance move recently made famous by Miley Cyrus -- in which the dancer (usually female) gyrates in a provocative, semi-squatting position that involves thrusting hip movements.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are not big fans of his best friend's wife. "Aracely" is extremely ill-mannered. She never says thank you, didn't even write thank-you notes for their wedding and baby showers, and when we're at a restaurant will loudly announce that the food was "disgusting."

Aracely claims our baby "cries too much." She arrived at my son's second birthday party with a hangover and so much more. She claims she doesn't observe our "Southern ways" because she comes from South America and has been in the United States for only eight years.

We keep our interactions with her limited, but do not cut her off completely because my husband values his friendship with her husband. I told my husband I'm considering giving her an etiquette book, but he said it would be rude. I disagree. I think it would nullify Aracely's argument that she doesn't understand our "Southern" manners. Do you agree that it would be rude?-- MANNERED SOUTHERN GAL

DEAR SOUTHERN GAL: Sorry, but I do agree, because the gift would be given with malicious intent, and I'm pretty sure that while Aracely lacks polish, she isn't stupid.

Her problem isn't that she doesn't understand good manners because she's from South America. I have met individuals from South America who are educated, cultured and whose manners are refined. Obviously, Aracely does not come from this kind of background.

ONLY if you could pull it off without sounding catty, the next time she hauls out the excuse for her deplorable manners, you might "offer" to buy her an etiquette book "so she can learn the ways of her adopted country" -- but don't expect her to take you up on it.

DEAR ABBY: Would it be appropriate to send my future mother-in-law a Mother's Day card? I feel it would be a nice gesture to help start the relationship between us.-- NICK IN OMAHA

DEAR NICK: I concur. In fact, I suspect it will melt her heart to know you feel that way about her, even before you marry her daughter.
blunt advice

Plainfield, NJ

#2 May 7, 2014
1. Google Urban Dictionary.
2. Find non rude friends.
3.send the card.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 May 7, 2014
1 I dont suppose you ever entertained the idea of asking your kid?

2 She sounds like a hoot! Keep her drunk and record it!

3 I have not idea, This would never occur to me.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 May 7, 2014
Lw1: Fake letter. No one young enough to have a kid in HS is this dumb. Not for not knowing what twerking is. Dumb for not just googling it.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#5 May 7, 2014
1- Google could have answered your question alot quicker than wrong Abby. And I too hope this is fake (or made up by Abby to educate the masses about twerking.) Because I really don't want to believe someone is this stupid

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#6 May 7, 2014
L1: I agree with Tonka. Fake. And Miley Cyrus took an already known move to make herself famous. She didn't make twerking famous. Except maybe with the 10-12 year olds.

L2: Race might be on to something. I'd have to start looking at it like it's her quirk. Do NOT give her a manner's book. You're not her mother.

L3: A gf of my son's gave me a "like a mother" Christmas card. I knew her all of 1 month. I didn't like it. So phony. If the LW is very close to the mother already, then it's a good idea otherwise it looks like a move and the other person seems disingenuous IMNSHO.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 May 7, 2014
LW1: What cave are you living in? I find it incredible that you have no idea what your kids are talking about and that instead of asking *them* or google, you resort to the stone-age resource of Dear Abby.

Your kids must love putting one over on you; it doesn't take much.

LW2: How much you wanna bet that "Aracely" is her real name?

LW3: Just don't get one of those sappy ones.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#8 May 7, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: I agree with Tonka. Fake. And Miley Cyrus took an already known move to make herself famous. She didn't make twerking famous.
.
I disagree. Twerking might have already existed, but I would not consider it to have been well known. Let's say Miley and twerking shared a mutually beneficial relationship as it pertains to fame.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#9 May 7, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I disagree. Twerking might have already existed, but I would not consider it to have been well known. Let's say Miley and twerking shared a mutually beneficial relationship as it pertains to fame.
I believe it was very well known in the black community, from where she appropriated it.

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#10 May 7, 2014
Didn't Kim Kardashian twerk, like, right before Miley? As if I actually cared.

Anyway....

L2: What Toj said. And LW, trumpeting about your Southern manners is kind of conceited and elitist. Not very polite.

L3: Good point, Toj. Assuming the LW is actually engaged and has known his "future MIL" for more than 5 minutes, do it. But if it could come across as ass-kissy or fake, don't.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#11 May 7, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I disagree. Twerking might have already existed, but I would not consider it to have been well known. Let's say Miley and twerking shared a mutually beneficial relationship as it pertains to fame.
I think Miley made twerking new to the young kids. The older kids already knew about it. I mean, if I did (and I'm a middle aged woman!) I'm sure most people also knew about it before Miiley. You need to get your head out of the computer once in awhile.:)

From the all importtant Wikipedia (I'll try to shorten the paragraphs b/c it's long):

"Twerking first received national recognition in the United States in the early 2000s, when the song "Whistle While You Twurk" (2000) by Southern hip hop duo Ying Yang Twins, peaked at number 17 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs component chart. It was later referenced in their later track "Say I Yi Yi" (2002), in which the lyrics "she got her hands up on her knees and her elbows on her thighs / she like to twerk and that's for certain I can tell that she fly", are heard. In her 2005 single "Check on It", American recording artist Beyoncé sings "Dip it, pop it, twerk it, stop it, check on me tonight."[10] Beyoncé's single reached number one on the US Billboard Hot 100, following its release.

In 2006, the song "Pop, Lock & Drop It" by American rapper Huey, reached number six on the US Billboard Hot 100. Also in 2006, the hit single "Sexy Back", by American pop singer Justin Timberlake, featuring Timbaland, from the former's second studio album Futuresex/Lovesounds, featured Timbaland rapping the lyrics "Let me see what you're twerking with / Go ahead, be gone with it, Look at those hips". In 2011, a group of female dancers who call themselves the Twerk Team and have posted several videos of themselves twerking on YouTube, were mentioned during the song "Round of Applause" by Waka Flocka Flame featuring Drake, in the line "Bounce that ass, shake that ass like the Twerk Team".[6]

Australian rapper Iggy Azalea, has been incorporating twerking into her live shows since 2011.[11][12] In July 2012, during the Workaholics episode "The Lord's Force", Anders Holm says "Let's just, uh, put on some twerk videos or something, right?".[13] The 2012 single "Bandz A Make Her Dance" by Juicy J, contains the lyric "Start twerking when she hear her song",[14] while French Montana questions the ability of a girl to twerk by asking "What you twerkin' with," in his respective 2012 single "Pop That", featuring fellow rappers Drake, Lil Wayne and Rick Ross.[15] The aforementioned songs, along with "Express Yourself" by Nicky Da B and Diplo, "Made twerking the most popular dance move since the Dougie".[16]

In March 2013, American pop singer Miley Cyrus posted a video on Facebook which featured her performing a twerking routine while wearing a unicorn suit, to the 2011 single "Wop" by J. Dash....."

Sorry. I didn't cut the paragraphs. Just skim it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#12 May 7, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: I agree with Tonka. Fake. And Miley Cyrus took an already known move to make herself famous. She didn't make twerking famous. Except maybe with the 10-12 year olds.
L2: Race might be on to something. I'd have to start looking at it like it's her quirk. Do NOT give her a manner's book. You're not her mother.
L3: A gf of my son's gave me a "like a mother" Christmas card. I knew her all of 1 month. I didn't like it. So phony. If the LW is very close to the mother already, then it's a good idea otherwise it looks like a move and the other person seems disingenuous IMNSHO.
lw3: I agree your story was wierd considering after only a month, you could not have interacted with this kid to be anyhing close to "like a mother". But I see nothing disingenous about a future dil giving a mother's day card. Unless the card says she's like a mother to her.

have I don't think ots disingenuou

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 May 7, 2014
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I believe it was very well known in the black community, from where she appropriated it.
I don't doubt that. But if you asked a random 100 people if they knew what twerking was, pre-miley, what % do you think woild have gotten it right vs asking now?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#14 May 7, 2014
Ok. Maybe twerking was more well known than i imagined.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#15 May 7, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I don't doubt that. But if you asked a random 100 people if they knew what twerking was, pre-miley, what % do you think woild have gotten it right vs asking now?
I guess my point is, it would depend on where you were asking it. On the South Side of Chicago? 100 people would have gotten it right. On the North Shore? Maybe 10, and they would have all been teenagers.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#16 May 7, 2014
LW1 - Dear Abby, I have only recently arrived on planet Earth with my teenage children, and I am a shut-in, with no TV, no computer, no access to newspapers of any kind, or to a radio. I overhead my teenage kids using a slang word I don't understand, and I am in a panic. Is that a bad word? Oh, wait, how do I know about Dear Abby? I haven't been on planet Earth for that long and have never seen a piece of information technology or a newspaper....

LW2 - Call her on her behavior, for crissake.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 May 7, 2014
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I guess my point is, it would depend on where you were asking it. On the South Side of Chicago? 100 people would have gotten it right. On the North Shore? Maybe 10, and they would have all been teenagers.
my thinkng is that I don't listen to miley cyrus. I don't listen to any of the stuff cited in Toj's post. I only listen to hip hop by accident. There is no twerking going on in the stuff that i listen to. Yet i know what twerking is. I woukd not have ben able to say that before she did it on the mtv award show. And i did not watch that either. But after her appearance, you could not get away from references to it abd twerking. Jimmy Kimmel was not doing twerking skits before she blew it up on mtv awards
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#18 May 7, 2014
1: To all my friends here, I'd like to offer a sincere thanks for overlooking my internet ineptitude when I first started reading and posting on this site. I didn't understand certain acronyms and you didn't make fun of me but pointed out that I could google them to get the needed information. You were all very nice about it. So now I know that if I don't understand a certain "new" term, I can google it. But that was a few years ago and my grandson is now a teenager which means the lw is certainly younger than I. I agree that this woman should have simply asked her son what the term means. And you'd think that by this time, most folks would know about Google and the other web search engines. I might add that although I had heard the term "twerking," I had no idea what it was or interested enough to find out. So I learned something today but at the moment it holds little interest. If anything, it makes me think what my own elders thought about rock and roll way back when: The world is going to h--- in a handbasket." I just hope I never have to see anyone, not even Miley Cyrus, doing this. ;-) But to each his/her own. I do sincerely hope my grandkids don't start doing this.

2: It wouldn't surprise me if this woman knows exactly how she should behave but acts as she does because she's selfish and/or to show her contempt for others. She uses her background as an excuse. I could understand a person not having some niceties such as keeping their elbows off the table while eating but some of her actions just don't seem like just a lack of learning. Attending a child's party while drunk is one of those. Not saying thank you is another. I mean, doesn't she ever do anything for anyone where the person says, "thank you?" I'm sure she's had plenty of experience seeing how others behave by now. But she chooses not to learn from this. She would rather behave as she likes and simply blame it on her so-called background. She's a spoiled brat. I do hope her hubby wakes up to that before they have kids. That said, I feel for the lw but I've often heard it said that it's better to take the high road in cases like this and behave as you'd like others to behave. Only a very close friend or relative has any business giving another person a book on etiquette unless they're asked for one.

3: I don't care.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 May 7, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> my thinkng is that I don't listen to miley cyrus. I don't listen to any of the stuff cited in Toj's post. I only listen to hip hop by accident. There is no twerking going on in the stuff that i listen to. Yet i know what twerking is. I woukd not have ben able to say that before she did it on the mtv award show. And i did not watch that either. But after her appearance, you could not get away from references to it abd twerking. Jimmy Kimmel was not doing twerking skits before she blew it up on mtv awards
I think this is why we're all so befuddled that the LW has no idea what twerking was. You could not get away from it for a little while there.

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#20 May 7, 2014
Cass wrote:
LW1 - Dear Abby, I have only recently arrived on planet Earth with my teenage children, and I am a shut-in, with no TV, no computer, no access to newspapers of any kind, or to a radio. I overhead my teenage kids using a slang word I don't understand, and I am in a panic. Is that a bad word? Oh, wait, how do I know about Dear Abby? I haven't been on planet Earth for that long and have never seen a piece of information technology or a newspaper....
Hahaha!

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