“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Dec 4, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my fiance since 2006. We expected to be married in 2008, but my grandmother died a month before my wedding, and then he was arrested because of charges stemming from a sexual relationship he'd had with a 17-year-old girl he had been counseling.

Since then, we have had a daughter, but through it all there has been cheating, drugs, jail, no job, and constant excuses about why our sex life no longer exists. We have also had physical altercations, which he was arrested for.

I am no longer happy with this relationship. The only reason I stay is because of our children. I'm only 33 and don't want to live my life in misery anymore, but I will sacrifice my happiness for my children. I am confused and don't know what to do. I'm just going through the motions in life. I work full time, coach my son's soccer team and am living with MS.

He does help somewhat, but it would be better if he would get a job. My mother watches my kids while I am working and after they get out of school. He claims because he doesn't have a driver's license he can't get a job. Really? How many people in this world don't drive and still have a job? Please give me some advice. I have reached my breaking point.-- DOING THE BEST I CAN

DEAR DOING THE BEST YOU CAN: You say you are willing to sacrifice your happiness with this loser for your children. Why? You are not married to him, and he is emotionally neglectful, physically abusive and contributes nothing financially. Admit to yourself that the "romance" has been a mistake, and as soon as it's safe, get away from him. If he ever finds a job, the state will help you collect child support, but if he doesn't, you'll have one less mouth to feed.

DEAR ABBY: My mom insists on including my ex-husband and his wife at our family gatherings. I have told her repeatedly that it makes me very uncomfortable, but she even included them in the gift exchange last Christmas. What should I do? Not go?

My sister has already laid a guilt trip on me. Must I go and have Christmas with my ex like we're one big happy family?(If we had been happy, we would not have gotten divorced.) What are your thoughts on this?-- LIVING IN DYSFUNCTION JUNCTION

DEAR LIVING: If you and your ex were married for a long time, I can see why your mother might consider him still part of the family and want to include him. However, out of consideration for your feelings, it should be on a limited basis -- not every holiday.(Could she be trying to punish you because she blames you for the divorce?)

Because it would make you uncomfortable and your mother knows it, make plans to do something you would enjoy -- perhaps a trip out of town to be with friends or to a different climate. And please, don't feel guilty if you do -- regardless of what your sister says.

DEAR ABBY: What do you say to your only son who can't even call to tell you he is getting married? He posted it on Facebook, and I was notified via a text from my sister.

Our relationship isn't the issue. He just doesn't seem to be able to use his phone for talking. Your thoughts?-- OUTSIDE THE LOOP IN OREGON

DEAR OUTSIDE THE LOOP: Because your son seems oblivious to the fact that news of this kind should be conveyed to the immediate family personally rather than in a "bulletin," explain to him how it made you feel to receive the news the way you did. He owes you an apology.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#2 Dec 4, 2013
1- Wow, how stupid can a person be??

2- We already had this letter. Tell your mom if your ex is there, you won't be.

3- It's the new age we live in; phone calls are out, social media is in

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Dec 4, 2013
1 I think if you just hang in there, this guy will get his life turned around. Look at it this way, all the bad sheit has already happened, so the days of bliss must be just around the next corner.

2 Your mom loves him more than you. She never did love you and it's no surprise that your husband dumped you and is now married to the woman your mother wishes you were.

3 You text back "OMG! so hapy 4u, but going 2 cancun that day, srsly. njoy!"

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#4 Dec 4, 2013
LW1 - This has to be a fake letter. NO ONE ON EARTH IS THAT STUPID!

LW2 - Also a stupid person but Abby is right on.

LW3 - Go, Team RACE!

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#5 Dec 4, 2013
Ding dang, y'all. Is it Redneck Wednesday again?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Dec 4, 2013
Lw1: Does MS make you stupid or does that just come naturally for her?

Lw2: your mom and sister care more about him than you. Is it deserved?

Lw3: I announced to my mom before telling everyone else. But I did so thru email. Sent i picture of my wife wearing her ring.

Is lw more bothered that she did not get advance notice, or that he did not use HER preferred medium for communication, the phone? What if he pm'd her before posting to his wall?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#7 Dec 4, 2013
1 I thought L1 might be fake, but some of the people I have known with long term diseases like MS tend to think that they will never get another partner so they hang on to the one who is there. We can talk about self respect and self esteem all you want but that doesn't hang out with you when you are down.

Still, martyrs are singularly unattractive

Abby is too polite: DTMF

2. Race with a spot of Abby. Your mom blames you for the divorce and likes your ex better than she likes you

L3 Hey , sweetums: your relationship with your son IS the issue. And what is with the "only son" BS? Would this be better if you had 2?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 Dec 4, 2013
LW1: You are not doing your kids any favors by modeling this very poor excuse for a relationship for them. You really want your kids to grow up and think this is normal and what they can expect to have when they're adults? Lawdy, I hope not!

Leave, like yesterday.

LW2: WTF? Again with this treating the exes with more respect than your children. You say you told your mom it makes you uncomfortable, but did you tell her you won't come if he's there? If not, now's the time and plan a lovely trip for yourself to anywhere but her house.

LW3: So are you ticked that he announced it on FB before telling you? Or are you ticked at your sister for texting the news to you because she knows you're not on FB? Maybe you should just be on FB already...

And while your relationship with your son might not be an issue, your communication with him certainly is. Work on that before the grandbabies start popping out.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#9 Dec 4, 2013
LW1: If you have another child with him, he will turn his life around, I bet, lol.

LW2: Only a doormat would be dumb enough to actually showed up under those circumstances. There is no way I would have shown up, and if I did show up it would be like a tornado shows up to a trailer park. I might even say:

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny [email protected]#king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white @ss down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of @ssholes this side of the nuthouse".

LW3: Men, generally speaking, myself included, arenít really into talking on the phone for hours on end like women. Still, that was kind of rude of him to let his own mother hear the good news through the grape vine.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#10 Dec 4, 2013
LW3 would be prudent to say, "Sorry if I've offended you," and graciously listen on how to
mend the fence with this son.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#11 Dec 4, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: If you have another child with him, he will turn his life around, I bet, lol.
LW2: Only a doormat would be dumb enough to actually showed up under those circumstances. There is no way I would have shown up, and if I did show up it would be like a tornado shows up to a trailer park. I might even say:
"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny [email protected]#king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white @ss down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of @ssholes this side of the nuthouse".
LW3: Men, generally speaking, myself included, arenít really into talking on the phone for hours on end like women. Still, that was kind of rude of him to let his own mother hear the good news through the grape vine.
Settle down, Clark

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#12 Dec 4, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny [email protected]#king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white @ss down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of @ssholes this side of the nuthouse".
You saved my day! I was listening to an Andrew Sisters song this morning with Danny Kaye and I couldn't remember his last name for the life of me! Drew a total mental blank! Now you fixed it. What are the odds???? Thanks!!!

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#13 Dec 4, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Settle down, Clark
You wanna go to pound town?

;)
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#14 Dec 4, 2013
LW1: Your biggest mistake was having a child with this loser, but that's water under the bridge. Get.Out.Now because you are setting a horrible example for your children and because being alone is definitely better than this.

LW2: Time for a tropical holiday in a place where Santa arrives in a canoe wearing tropical print shorts and is sucking up a pineapple smoothie. Continue to avoid family gatherings where the ex is until they get the message.

LW3: I got on FB only because that's how people catch up these days. But still, big news merits a phone call.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#15 Dec 4, 2013
Stina2 wrote:
<quoted text>
You saved my day! I was listening to an Andrew Sisters song this morning with Danny Kaye and I couldn't remember his last name for the life of me! Drew a total mental blank! Now you fixed it. What are the odds???? Thanks!!!
I'm here to help!!

I love that movie. It never gets old.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#16 Dec 4, 2013
Shari23 wrote:
LW1 - This has to be a fake letter. NO ONE ON EARTH IS THAT STUPID!
Sadly, I must disagree. There are LOTS of people that stupid.
If there weren't, Abby and Lamy would be out of business.

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