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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Oct 31, 2012
DEAR ABBY: There is a man at work I'm very attracted to. He seems to be equally attracted to me. The problem is, he has shown me two pictures of his privates that he has on his cellphone. When he did it, it wasn't completely out of context of our conversation and our interest in each other. We do not have a physical relationship (yet), but I'm considering it. How weird is it that he has these pictures on his phone?-- GOT AN EYEFUL IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GOT AN EYEFUL: That must have been some conversation! It's amazing either of you get any work done with so many pheromones floating in the air. From my perspective, what your co-worker did was "premature" considering you have no social relationship (yet). It could also be considered a form of flashing.

However, while I consider what he did to be overexposure and not a particularly impressive courtship technique, displaying pictures of his anatomy on his cellphone is not unheard of among men who think like adolescents.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a waitress at a 24-hour restaurant in a small town. Most of my customers are regulars, and for the most part we talk about current events and what is going on in each other's lives. Last night, two of my regulars came in and one tried to grab my hand after the other put his hand up the sleeve of my shirt. Both repeatedly asked me incredibly personal questions about my love life and finances, and I'll admit, I froze and then I walked away.

In any other kind of work environment what happened would be considered sexual harassment, but I'm not sure what to do about it, since they're customers and I'm the employee. At what point is the customer really wrong?-- MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

DEAR MAY: The point at which the customer is really wrong is when he (or she) repeatedly asks personal questions about a server's love life and puts his (or her) hands on the server. The way to handle it is to report what happened to your supervisor or employer, and make certain that in the future you are not the person taking their order. What happened was inappropriate anywhere -- and that includes in your restaurant.

DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old son left for college over a month ago. While cleaning his room, I found all sorts of marijuana paraphernalia. I'm at a loss about how to handle this. I want to confront him because he knew the rules of the house (no drugs) and lied to me and broke them.

I do not want drugs in this house! I don't know what to do or say if he wants to come home for school breaks. I pray he is no longer doing them, but I think I would just be lied to if I brought it up.-- HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FREDERICKSBURG, VA.

DEAR HEARTBROKEN MOM: You have a right to set the rules in your house and expect that they will be respected. When your son comes home for his first school break, tell him what you found and how hurt you are to have been lied to. Then tell him that to make sure he doesn't abuse your trust in the future, you will be randomly drug-testing him.(Testing kits are sold over the counter at your pharmacy.) Explain what the penalty will be if he disregards your wishes. The threat of a drug test may ensure his compliance.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Oct 31, 2012
1- A "social relationship" Abby? Is that what we call sex now?

3- You weren't "cleaning" his room, you were "snooping." While I fully support a parent's right to go through their children's things, just call it like it is.

Anyway, chances are he IS still smoking pot and likely other things too. You don't have much of a chance at controlling his actions while he's at school, but a drug kit probably isn't a bad idea, and if you're paying for his education, that will give you a bargaining chip, as well. Good luck.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Oct 31, 2012
LW1: What, you don't have pictures of the puppies on your phone?

LW3: "I do not want drugs in this house!"
You ever think maybe he never had the drugs in the house, but kept his gear in the house. See. Not breaking the rules.

"tell him what you found and how hurt you are to have been lied to."
What lie did he tell? If I do something you don't want me to do, don't tell you that I did it, and you don't ask about it, I HAVE NOT TOLD A LIE!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Oct 31, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
You don't have much of a chance at controlling his actions while he's at school,
exactly
edogxxx wrote:
but a drug kit probably isn't a bad idea, and if you're paying for his education, that will give you a bargaining chip, as well. Good luck.
I kinda laughed at this idea, but hey, its her house. The thing is, when is she going to administer this test? When he comes home for thanksgiving weekend? In 5 years of school, I went home for 1 summer: the first one. So for the majority of my time in school, I never "lived" at my parents house.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Oct 31, 2012
L1: Why are you interested in someone so immature?

L2: Just tell them to stop touching you. If they persist, switch tables with another waitperson.

L3: Look at it this way: At least he didn't take all that stuff to college with him, planning on getting high all the time. It very well could be an occasional thing. Go ahead and toss it all if you want. Don't talk about it. He'll discover soon enough over Thanksgiving or Christmas break.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#6 Oct 31, 2012
1 Why do you think he has a picture of his junk on his phone dummy?

2 Stab them in they eye with a fork.

3 Drug test will only show that he has drugs in his system, not when they got there.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#7 Oct 31, 2012
what about that hashish resumdew in the bong?

Resumdew, long story very funny.
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW3: "I do not want drugs in this house!"
You ever think maybe he never had the drugs in the house, but kept his gear in the house. See. Not breaking the rules.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#8 Oct 31, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: Why are you interested in someone so immature?
She forgot to mention that she's 18 and he's 19 and they work at Subbay as sandwich artists.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#9 Oct 31, 2012
LW1: If he has those pics on his phone, he is showing them around. Also, what kind of loser does that to a girl he's not even involved with? You should run, unless you have a very low self-esteem.

LW2: Harder for LW being in a small town. There could be repurcussions. I could never live in a small town.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#10 Oct 31, 2012
I knew there was something I forgot to show you!

How ya doing lady?
Stina wrote:
LW1: If he has those pics on his phone, he is showing them around. Also, what kind of loser does that to a girl he's not even involved with? You should run, unless you have a very low self-esteem.
LW2: Harder for LW being in a small town. There could be repurcussions. I could never live in a small town.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#11 Oct 31, 2012
RACE wrote:
I knew there was something I forgot to show you!
How ya doing lady?
<quoted text>
Good! Just really, really, really busy at work! Really busy!

You?

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#12 Oct 31, 2012
L1: Only creepers keep pictures of their junk on their phones and go around showing people. Why would you entertain this?

L2: Legally, it can be sexual harassment - customers and vendors are included, not just people who work for your company.

L3: At least it was just pot.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#13 Oct 31, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
She forgot to mention that she's 18 and he's 19 and they work at Subbay as sandwich artists.
GOod point.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#15 Oct 31, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
L2: Legally, it can be sexual harassment - customers and vendors are included, not just people who work for your company.
You sure? I would think it would be something else like sexual assault. I thought harassment was strictly a workplace/employee issue.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#16 Oct 31, 2012
ie: I don't think you can get arrested for harassment, but you can get fired. If your harassing actions go far enough, you can be arrested, but the charge would not be harassment, it owuld be the same as if some dude walking down the street grabbed you. At least that's how I think it works.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Oct 31, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
Being sneaky and hiding things is the same as lying.
Bullshit. Lying is an overt act.

By your logic, a boy who spanks it in the bathroom or the privacy of his room is lying because he is not volunteering that info an mom ain't asking about it.
edogxxx wrote:
And maybe they DID ask him in the past and he said no.
LW did not mention this. The idea that he lied was brought up by Abby.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#18 Oct 31, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Being sneaky and hiding things is the same as lying.
So parents are liars when they hide Chrsitmas presents from their kids?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#19 Oct 31, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Bullshit. Lying is an overt act.
By your logic, a boy who spanks it in the bathroom or the privacy of his room is lying because he is not volunteering that info an mom ain't asking about it.
<quoted text>LW did not mention this. The idea that he lied was brought up by Abby.
I can't believe I'm doing this but I gotta go with the Dog. It's not about volunteering information, it's about the house rules, as long as you live here, you can't do "X". If you do "X" and you still live there, hiding it, you're deceiving them so it's a form of lying. If you want to get real technical, it's deception and not the actual act of lying. I think.

Hmmmm, going to look up exact definition on Webster online.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#20 Oct 31, 2012
liedly·ing
Definition of LIE

intransitive verb
1: to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2: to create a false or misleading impression

I'd say the pot guy created a "false or misleading impression". I get what Tonka is saying though b/c for years I thought that way.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#21 Oct 31, 2012
Just missing you! When you coming to my hood?
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
Good! Just really, really, really busy at work! Really busy!
You?

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