Pregnant teen can no longer hide secr...

Pregnant teen can no longer hide secret affair with pastor

There are 107 comments on the Chicago Tribune story from Feb 4, 2008, titled Pregnant teen can no longer hide secret affair with pastor. In it, Chicago Tribune reports that:

DEAR ABBY: I have a big problem. I am 16 years old, have a good job and do well in school.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Chicago Tribune.

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Karla

United States

#2 Feb 4, 2008
LW#1, Something is not right.
This 16 year old has a good job and has been meeting with the Preacher to have sex but she is NOW worried about bringing shame to her family?

I agree that the preacher should be arrested for statutary rape but she also has to consider how she is going to take care of this child at 16 and how she is going to afford this all.

LW#2

We have some family members (sister in law and brother who have 2 rowdy kids who are the spawns from-you get the point).

I can understand what the mother is trying to avoid. They came the next afternoon after we had our baby. Thankfully we had been moved into a private room by that time.
They were loud, running around and being terrors. I was getting cranky because they were screaming and the parents just ignored them. It put us both (husband and I) on edge because of how loud they were and we kept saying umm the kids there ARE other recuperating mothers here.

Also, the first night we were in a room with a young couple.
They were rude, cursing and their visitors were loud and obnoxious. They made the first night difficult and they were not at all considerate that I was recuperating and that the baby wazs trying to sleep.
Dienne

United States

#3 Feb 4, 2008
LW1 - Let me guess - "Reverend Ron" favors abstinence only sex-ed.

The religious "right" always uses the argument that abortion allows a child molester to get away with his crime (please don't ask me to explain the logic of that). I'd be interested to see how the parents of this girl handle the situation. Since she's not seeking an abortion, they're going to report "Reverend Ron" to the police so that he won't "get away" with it, right? I bet not. I bet they send the little one off to live with "Aunt Jane" for a while and keep the whole thing hush-hush. And what do you want to bet that the girl gets no choice in deciding whether the baby gets adopted?

LW2 - it matters not what ANYONE else says. Let your wishes be known to the hospital staff and they WILL enforce it. End of story.
BumbleBee

United States

#4 Feb 4, 2008
Karla, Were you ever 16? Maybe you were more worldly at 16. I wasn't!
Thankfully, this didn't happen to me...but I can assure you this little girl is thinking of nothing but"love"
and that is definately not what the minister was thinking about.
I hope that the girl can go to her parents and her parents go to the Pastor and his wife privately. The Pastor should take responsibility, by #1 stepping down from his position as Pastor,
#2 take care of expenses for the child and the girl.
It will do no one any good to make this public.
The girl, her family, her baby and the ministers family need not be embarrassed by this if handled right.
JAJ

Villa Park, IL

#5 Feb 4, 2008
MAKE SURE YOU LET EVERYONE KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU...SEX IS NOT LOVE...AND RON DESERVES SOME QUALITY TIME TO CONSIDER HIS ACTIONS IN JAIL AS A CHILD MOLESTER.
jjrg7

Raleigh, NC

#6 Feb 4, 2008
The pastor took complete advantage of this girl and should have known better. Tell your parents immediately and let the adults that love you help your through this difficult time.
kat

Rhinelander, WI

#8 Feb 4, 2008
I hope the parents have him arrested (fat chance--he has them under his thumb, too). Want to bet that other girls and young women come out of hiding, too? Not just his current harem of youngsters, but "graduates" from his charm school.
Dienne

United States

#9 Feb 4, 2008
BumbleBee wrote:
Karla, Were you ever 16? Maybe you were more worldly at 16. I wasn't!
Thankfully, this didn't happen to me...but I can assure you this little girl is thinking of nothing but"love"
and that is definately not what the minister was thinking about.
I hope that the girl can go to her parents and her parents go to the Pastor and his wife privately. The Pastor should take responsibility, by #1 stepping down from his position as Pastor,
#2 take care of expenses for the child and the girl.
It will do no one any good to make this public.
The girl, her family, her baby and the ministers family need not be embarrassed by this if handled right.
You ignore your own conclusions. Right, the pastor is certainly not thinking of "love" - he's thinking he's getting it from a 16-year-old girl secretly with no strings attached. Why should this be handled privately? What shame is there for the girl and her family?(Unless they're also part of the holier-than-thou abstinence movement.) How many other girls is this paster in "love" with? How many others has he gotten pregnant? How often has he been able to get away with it in the past and currently?

This family, the girl especially, needs to find the courage to out this guy for all he's worth. He needs to go to jail, where some of his fellow inmates can teach him all about "love". The family should also file a civil suit to take him for all he's worth financially (and I'm sure he's worth a lot - these "non-denominational" churches are usually rolling in money). That money can be used to support the girl and the baby (assuming the parents don't make her put the baby up for adoption). Far better that than allow "Reverend Ron" to have an active role in raising this child, which he could be entitled to if the family doesn't press charges and makes him pay child support.
Dienne

United States

#10 Feb 4, 2008
TOM SLICK wrote:
You idiot, abortion is your only answer.
The window is rapidly closing on that option. She said she found out six weeks ago that she was pregnant. She had to have been at least 4 or 5 weeks along then, so she's at least 10 weeks now. Anything after 14 weeks is considered "late term" and is much more risky.
steph

United States

#11 Feb 4, 2008
Dienne wrote:
LW1 - Let me guess - "Reverend Ron" favors abstinence only sex-ed.
The religious "right" always uses the argument that abortion allows a child molester to get away with his crime (please don't ask me to explain the logic of that). I'd be interested to see how the parents of this girl handle the situation. Since she's not seeking an abortion, they're going to report "Reverend Ron" to the police so that he won't "get away" with it, right? I bet not. I bet they send the little one off to live with "Aunt Jane" for a while and keep the whole thing hush-hush. And what do you want to bet that the girl gets no choice in deciding whether the baby gets adopted?
LW2 - it matters not what ANYONE else says. Let your wishes be known to the hospital staff and they WILL enforce it. End of story.
Hey Dienne, he might favor abstinence-only sex ed, but I'm willing to bet he'd be strangely and suddenly open to abortion in this case.

And to LW2, go on with your bad self, girl. Stand up to your family and make an unpopular choice. You're right, it's YOUR moment, and your mother shouldn't have an opportunity to hijack it. She can bask in the glow of being a grandparent 24 hours after you've had time to bask in the glow of your new motherhood.

I know that whenever I have our first child, my MIL will probably be in the corner with her arms folded, pouting because my mom got to hold the baby first (or whatever she has decided is the latest sleight against her).

You should be able to enjoy your experience of having a new baby without having to deal with b.s. family drama like that.

JRO

Since: Jan 08

Seattle, live in Chicago

#12 Feb 4, 2008
I can already see the Pastor saying "the devil made me do it", or some garbage excused used by people in religion.

JRO

Since: Jan 08

Seattle, live in Chicago

#13 Feb 4, 2008
BumbleBee wrote:
Karla, Were you ever 16? Maybe you were more worldly at 16. I wasn't!
Thankfully, this didn't happen to me...but I can assure you this little girl is thinking of nothing but"love"
and that is definately not what the minister was thinking about.
I hope that the girl can go to her parents and her parents go to the Pastor and his wife privately. The Pastor should take responsibility, by #1 stepping down from his position as Pastor,
#2 take care of expenses for the child and the girl.
It will do no one any good to make this public.
The girl, her family, her baby and the ministers family need not be embarrassed by this if handled right.
Exactly, let's hush hush this so this so called pastor can eventually go to another church and do it again, that is the logic used by some people that makes it easier for child abusers to do it over and over, "WE DON'T WANNA EMBARRASS ANYONE"....
TOM SLICK

Chicago, IL

#14 Feb 4, 2008
Dienne wrote:
<quoted text>
The window is rapidly closing on that option. She said she found out six weeks ago that she was pregnant. She had to have been at least 4 or 5 weeks along then, so she's at least 10 weeks now. Anything after 14 weeks is considered "late term" and is much more risky.
Key word, she found out six weeks ago, and it should have been done six weeks age. Another teen getting ready to be a terrible parent.
Trish

Chicago Heights, IL

#15 Feb 4, 2008
BumbleBee wrote:
It will do no one any good to make this public.
The girl, her family, her baby and the ministers family need not be embarrassed by this if handled right.
I agreed with your post until this point.

This is not a private matter. This is a criminal matter. As other posters have pointed out, the girl is the victim of rape, and almost certainly is not the first victim of this man. He abused his position as a "man of God." He could be passing STDs between his wife and all his victims. He may well have gotten other girls pregnant.

Also, embarrassment? The victim and her family have nothing to be embarrassed about. And why in the world should we care about whether or not the pastor is embarrassed by being exposed as a sexual predator of children? It's true that it will be hard on his family, but that is not a sufficient reason to allow him to escape justice. His criminal actions are the reason they will be embarrassed; it's not the "fault" of the victim for going to the police.
and another thing

Eden Prairie, MN

#17 Feb 4, 2008
more morals from the religious right. yeh. i remember going to a Jimmy Swaggart revival when i was 16. he launched into this tirade about young girls wearing bikinis and "don't you dare tempt those young men with your bodies" nonsense. well we all know what happened to mr. swaggart years later. same with this loser. string him up. he'll make a great coffee table for someone in jail. wouldn't be surprised if he's doing boys as well. shoot him and get it done.
shughes

Harvey, IL

#18 Feb 4, 2008
Truth should be told.But then what? Will parent(s) use the law to force accountability? So often this type of situation goes unresolved with the man getting away with his crime. It is never the child's fault. This girl was molested and is not of age to consent. Tax payers should not have to bear this burden.

“What type of f--kery is this??”

Since: Dec 07

South Shore/Chatham

#19 Feb 4, 2008
Unfortunately, growing up...I have encountered far too many situations like this in the churches I attended...

And the worse thing about the situation is that the girl was made the scapegoat...the CHILD was ostracized, sometimes by her own family, ALWAYS by the church...

While all the grown a-- Minister had to do was shed a few tears...say a few words from the Bible...and scout his next victim...

This is a sin...AND a shame!
Dienne

United States

#20 Feb 4, 2008
BTW, is anyone else creeped out that the headline refers to it as an "affair"?
Greg

United States

#21 Feb 4, 2008
TOM SLICK wrote:
You idiot, abortion is your only answer. Children cannot raise children, and if anyone say's you can, they are idiots also. Your pastor is a rapist, and you have been hood winked.
Really? I've seen a 16 year old successfully raise a baby before. How spoiled we've gotten since people were regularly having babies in their teens only 70-100 years ago. And doing it without all the conveniences we have in our modern world. Then again, how's a teenager going to be able to go have sex with random guys at the club if she has a baby to take care of,,,I tell you children can be such an inconvenience sometimes.....
Karla

United States

#22 Feb 4, 2008
BumbleBee wrote:
Karla, Were you ever 16? Maybe you were more worldly at 16. I wasn't!
Thankfully, this didn't happen to me...but I can assure you this little girl is thinking of nothing but"love"
and that is definately not what the minister was thinking about.
I hope that the girl can go to her parents and her parents go to the Pastor and his wife privately. The Pastor should take responsibility, by #1 stepping down from his position as Pastor,
#2 take care of expenses for the child and the girl.
It will do no one any good to make this public.
The girl, her family, her baby and the ministers family need not be embarrassed by this if handled right.
Well, yes I was 16 once.

I was also a child who was raped and molested.

This girl IS still a child.
What the pastor/preacher did not was not ONLY morally wrong it is ILLEGAL.

Yet, you suggest to sweep it under the rug by doing it privately.

Which means that the next girl he does this with will think she was the only one since it will once again be swept under the rug.

I was too young at the time to stop my abuse but unless you yourself have been sexually abused/raped OR taken advantage of by a person with authority (in this case the Pastor) you may not know what this child is going through nor how this will affect her for the rest of her life.

However, it seems like her concern is more with how it looks not how this man used her because of HER youth/innocence and the fact that he is her pastor.

This is WHY many Priest got away with raping boys over and over for decades (or even longer)
shughes

Harvey, IL

#23 Feb 4, 2008
BumbleBee wrote:
Karla, Were you ever 16? Maybe you were more worldly at 16. I wasn't!
Thankfully, this didn't happen to me...but I can assure you this little girl is thinking of nothing but"love"
and that is definately not what the minister was thinking about.
I hope that the girl can go to her parents and her parents go to the Pastor and his wife privately. The Pastor should take responsibility, by #1 stepping down from his position as Pastor,
#2 take care of expenses for the child and the girl.
It will do no one any good to make this public.
The girl, her family, her baby and the ministers family need not be embarrassed by this if handled right.
Are you kidding? The Bible says to expose the wicked ones among us. This pedophile has committed adultery and produced a life. Will he suggest abortion over adoption? Will he do this girl in? Remember some women have been killed over less. This girl and her parents should go to the police. Now!

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