Abby 2-28

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“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Feb 28, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife cheated on me five years ago. She ran off with a nonworking criminal type and has been bouncing from place to place with this bozo ever since.

When they and their 3-year-old became homeless two weeks ago, all of a sudden she showed up at my door shoeless and with their son in a diaper. She said her boyfriend was abusive and asked to stay with me until she finds a place. I agreed under the provision that she not see this guy.

I am a hard-working single father of two. I know my heart is two sizes too big for my own good sometimes, and I don't want to be taken advantage of. Abby, did I make the right choice? Or should I have told her she was not welcome and turned her and her son away?

I really feel I shouldn't have to help her, and she should rely on her loser boyfriend -- who she has started seeing again. I need guidance and your expert advice. Am I an idiot?-- CONFUSED

DEAR CONFUSED: You're not an idiot; you're a pushover. Your ex has already broken the agreement she made when you let her in. The situation is not going to get better; it will only become more complicated.

You have helped her for two weeks. Now it's time to direct her to a shelter that can help her get her life back together and give her son a stable home. Your responsibility for her welfare ended when she left you for another man.

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Cafe Crazy" (Jan. 4), about the woman changing the baby on the restaurant's table. You advised that she should have taken the baby to the ladies' room to change it on a changing table there, and if there wasn't one, there should be.

I am a stay-at-home father and many times have had to resort to an awkward changing table alternative to accomplish the task (though never a restaurant table) as there are very few changing tables in men's rooms. In these dynamic, diverse and changing economic times, the ability to stay home and raise my children has been awesome, and I would do it over again in a heartbeat. It has been hard, however, because society still assumes that raising children is a woman's job. Not only should there have been a changing table in the ladies' room, but also one in the men's room.

Abby, please help us proud papas to raise our children with the same facilities allowed the mommas of the world!-- GRANT IN SUNNYVALE, CALIF.

DEAR GRANT: I apologize, and I'm glad to have the opportunity to not only help fathers everywhere to raise their children, but also to raise consciousness where it is needed.

Since the letter from "Cafe Crazy" was printed, I have heard from parents of both sexes, as far away as Denmark. Although some men's restrooms are equipped with changing tables, not all are -- and they should be. Another solution is a "family" restroom; however, many establishments have neither the money nor the room to install a third one.

DEAR ABBY: Something has been bothering me and I'd like your opinion. If a group of people goes out to eat together, and no one wants to order dessert except one person, is it rude for that person to keep everyone else waiting and watching while he/she orders and eats the dessert?-- CHECK, PLEASE

DEAR CHECK, PLEASE: It's not rude if you first ask the others in the group if they would mind, and they wanted to chat over coffee.

“Walt Frazier for POTUS”

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#2
Feb 28, 2013
 

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1 Welcome to Doormat, population: you

2 Let's not beat this dead horse again

3 Whatever....

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#3
Feb 28, 2013
 

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1 . I need guidance and your expert advice. Am I an idiot?

You're asking abby for advice...Yes you are an idiot.

2 Yay diaper stations for everyone! How about we just make all bathrooms unisex and put a picture on the door of the one with a changing table?

3 Yes it's rude, get it to go, and wait till your fat ass gets home to eat it.

Since: Jan 10

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#4
Feb 28, 2013
 

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L1: Offer her cash to take/keep the kid, if you can find it in your heart to do so. Then get her to give you custody.

L2: From what all my friends have said, those changing stations in restroooms are disgusting. I think you should take your kid out to your car to change the diaper. Other diners shouldn't have to accidentally see a poopy diaper change.

L3: If I wanted dessert and no one else did, I'd skip dessert.

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

United States

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#5
Feb 28, 2013
 

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1- I'm gonna say idiot, with a side of doormat, wrapped in pushover, and just a dash of cuckold.

2- Don't really want to take the kid out to the car when it's 20 below, most places I've seen have changing tables in the mens room or a family bathroom, any parent changing a diaper should have those sanitary wipes anyway, wipe down the change table first and lay a blanket down. If all else fails and there's no change table, lay a blanket down and change it on the chair or booth seat, not the table.

3- I don't see this as any different than those slow eaters that are still picking at their food while everyone else's dishes have been cleared (like me :) If there's no rush, sit there and gab until everybody's finished.

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#6
Feb 28, 2013
 

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LW1: Abby's wrong. You ARE an idiot.

You are just a confused moron.
You let her stay.
Yet you say "I really feel I shouldn't have to help her"
Ok. Who forced you to help her?

You said she could stay as long as she was not seeing the BF anymore.
Yet she is, and you sill allow her to stay there?
Who forced you to let her stay after she violated the terms you laid out.

You said she could stay as long as she was not seeing the BF anymore. Why the F do you care who she sees? You should be happy for them to get back together. Good reason for her to GTFO.

LW2: Boo hoo. You got a car? You got a trunk? Then you got a changing table. And quit trying to F things up for the non sinlge dads. It was awesome to be able to tell my wife, "Sorry, they don't have a changing tablw in the men's room here. You'll have to take him to the ladies room"

:)

LW3: And where are you in such a big F'n hurry to get to?

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#7
Feb 28, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: Offer her cash to take/keep the kid, if you can find it in your heart to do so. Then get her to give you custody.
WTF? You want this single dad of 2 to pay for the privilege of taking in a child that is not his own and adding a 3rd mouth to feed? Which would also mean his cheating ex all all her drama would always be a part of his life? Damn, that sounds awesome. Where do I sign up?

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#8
Feb 28, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
2- Don't really want to take the kid out to the car when it's 20 below,
Who's fault is that for rasing a kid up North?

If single pop can't get out to the car and there's no changing table in the men's room, I'm sure he could talk to the waiter or manager to let him have a minute in the ladies room to use the changing table. Especially if the alternative is him changing junior on the table in the dining room.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#9
Feb 28, 2013
 

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Somebody ate their Wheaties this morning!
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW1: Abby's wrong. You ARE an idiot.
You are just a confused moron.
You let her stay.
Yet you say "I really feel I shouldn't have to help her"
Ok. Who forced you to help her?
You said she could stay as long as she was not seeing the BF anymore.
Yet she is, and you sill allow her to stay there?
Who forced you to let her stay after she violated the terms you laid out.
You said she could stay as long as she was not seeing the BF anymore. Why the F do you care who she sees? You should be happy for them to get back together. Good reason for her to GTFO.
LW2: Boo hoo. You got a car? You got a trunk? Then you got a changing table. And quit trying to F things up for the non sinlge dads. It was awesome to be able to tell my wife, "Sorry, they don't have a changing tablw in the men's room here. You'll have to take him to the ladies room"
:)
LW3: And where are you in such a big F'n hurry to get to?

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#10
Feb 28, 2013
 

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LW1: I bet anything you are a democrat, too. Dude, you are dumber than a box of rocks. I would have slammed the door in her face after I told her to get the f’ out of my face. Give her the boot and keep this in mind in the future, dummy:

“Now this this is one of them occasions
Where the homies not doin it right
I mean he found him a h .o.e that he like
But you can't make a h. o.e. a housewife”
http://www.youtube.com/watch...

LW2: Worst case scenario, take you kid out to the car and change his diaper there.

LW3: I think it’s rude to flip out over waiting a few minutes for the person to get dessert, and I’m not a dessert eater. Relax and try not to rush through life, so much.

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

United States

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#11
Feb 28, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: Offer her cash to take/keep the kid, if you can find it in your heart to do so. Then get her to give you custody.
HELLS NO!

Since: Jan 10

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#12
Feb 28, 2013
 

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I jsut feel for that kid. And the kid may be the sibling (half) of the two kids the guy has. Although it sounds like he probably had them before her.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#13
Feb 28, 2013
 

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LW1: Good advice from Abby. He won't take it though.

LW2: Yeah yeah yeah.

And folks, not everybody has a car or takes the car everywhere they go.

LW3: You could always leave your part of the bill and excuse yourself if you're in that much of a hurry.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#14
Feb 28, 2013
 
My post disappeared. Instead of redoing it, now I can say I agree with Squishy.

I did say, though: Eek! I agree with the mutt on L3.

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

United States

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#15
Feb 28, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I jsut feel for that kid. And the kid may be the sibling (half) of the two kids the guy has. Although it sounds like he probably had them before her.
Too effin bad, it ain't the lw's responsibility. Ex wife created this drama, she can sleep in the bed she made.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#16
Feb 28, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Too effin bad, it ain't the lw's responsibility. Ex wife created this drama, she can sleep in the bed she made.
No doubt. Especially since she cheated on him ran off with some other man.

If he's feeling altruistic and wants to help a kid, there are plenty of other kids he can help without helping her.

The only reason this woman showed up at his door, is because she's a user and she knows he's user friendly.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#17
Feb 28, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
The only reason this woman showed up at his door, is because she's a user and she knows he's user friendly.
User friendly... I like that.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#18
Feb 28, 2013
 
Meaning I like the way you used the phrase there, not the actual concept.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#19
Feb 28, 2013
 
1. You are a wuss. Offer to buy a fwe things for the kid, but do not give her cash and do not buy anything for her. F' her. She made her bed, she can lay in it. Just make things a bit easier for the kid.

2. Do be quiet.

3. I would not do that, it's a rude move.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#20
Feb 28, 2013
 

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j_m_w wrote:
Meaning I like the way you used the phrase there, not the actual concept.
I knew what you meant.

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