“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Feb 25, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'd like to tell your readers about a wonderful program I discovered about a year ago. It's called Overeaters Anonymous (OA). The program is similar to AA, but it's for people with an eating problem.

For years, I struggled to lose weight. I tried dozens of diets, pills and saw several doctors. I would lose some weight, but I could never stick with a program, so I gained back more than I lost. I felt like a loser.

I was a food junkie. I ate when I was happy, sad, depressed, bored or lonely. I would buy candy at the checkout counter at the market and eat it on the way home. Then I'd hide the wrapper in the garage so my family wouldn't know I ate it.

I hid candy in the kitchen cabinets so no one would find it, then I'd sneak in and eat it later. I could never have only one serving size of chips or cookies. I would consume half a bag before I stopped.

Since joining OA, I have lost more than 50 pounds and feel like a new person. I have a new outlook on life and no longer have to rely on food. It's good to be able to talk with people who have the same problems I do. It's a daily struggle, but I have a sponsor and others to talk to when I'm tempted to return to my old life.

Compulsive eating is a disease, Abby. And unless people have it, they don't understand. I hope this letter will help someone who is also struggling.-- GRATEFUL O.A. MEMBER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GRATEFUL: I'm glad you found OA. It's a wonderful organization that has been around for many years. About 20 years ago, I was fortunate to meet the woman who founded it -- and she was a doll -- and I know the program has helped many thousands of people. Often when a person has weight issues, it is less about what he or she is eating than it is what is eating the PERSON.

Readers, OA has about 6,500 groups in more than 75 countries. There are no requirements for membership except a sincere desire to stop eating compulsively. Everyone is there to offer mutual support. I have attended some of the meetings, and there is no weighing and no embarrassment. There is only a fellowship of compassionate people who share a common problem.

DEAR ABBY: Because of finances, I still live with my ex-partner. We have been friends for 15 years. We split all the bills, and for the most part we get along quite well.

One thing has been bothering me, though. How should I handle things when he brings home a date? I am aware he becomes intimate, and occasionally it becomes quite loud. I have talked to him about this, and he says I should turn up the TV. I have asked him if he wants me to leave for the night to give him privacy. The answer is no, that it doesn't bother him if I stay, but it becomes uncomfortable for me.

How should I approach this in an adult manner? I love him dearly, but this is very awkward!-- EMBARRASSED

DEAR EMBARRASSED: It is laudable that you and your former partner are on such good terms. Out of consideration for you, why doesn't he plan to stay at his date's home or apartment whenever possible? If it isn't possible, ask him to let you know beforehand so you can make arrangements to be elsewhere for the night. I think you'd both sleep better.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Feb 25, 2014
LW2: This is normal life and normal stuff fir room mates to have to put up with. What happens when YOU bring home a date?

And here's an idea. Start working toward getting out of there. You gonna be room mates forever? Start planning your exit now and soon enough, you won't have to worry about it. Unless you get another room mate who enjoys sex.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#3 Feb 25, 2014
2- Gay drama. Tell him to have his boyfriend scream into a pillow

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#4 Feb 25, 2014
1 Mmphmmm, doughnut mphmm...

2 How about mr sensitive leave if he cant handle his x slamming his salami with someone else? Then guy has every right to do what he is doing, no matter how upsetting it is to others.
blunt advice

Brooklyn, NY

#5 Feb 25, 2014
1. I like food too. Dang shame it's so fattening.

2. Don't you ever date? Seems you need to find a guy, a better job, a new place to live or all of the above.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#6 Feb 25, 2014
1. What Race said about eating, mmmphmmm.

2. You gotta wonder what the date thinks when he/she is brought back to the apartment and finds someone else lives there .

One of the few a*sholes I dated was a guy who gave me his home phone number. When I asked who the woman was who answered he told me it was an old friend who came over to clean the house. It was his live-in, possibly current possibly ex- gf. Dump.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Feb 25, 2014
PEllen wrote:
2. You gotta wonder what the date thinks when he/she is brought back to the apartment and finds someone else lives there .
Why would that be a problem. Having a room mate is not an uncommon thing. And while not the majority, having a room mate of the opposite sex(assuming this is not a gay couple, which i think it is) is certainly not unheard of. I've had 2 female room mates in my life. My female co-worker is moving in with a male this week, just as room mates.

The thing that would be questuonable to the date is not that SOMEONE else lives there, but that its an ex.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#8 Feb 25, 2014
LW1: Itís a lifestyle. Itís not a diet. Diets donít work. Embrace it as a lifestyle Ö donít even worry so much about the scale and how much you weigh and how fast you are losing it. Itís not a race to lose it so you can go back to doing what you did before Ö itís a lifestyle.
Cheat days are okay too, but stick to your lifestyle, mostly. If you view it as a diet and as if you are on a mission to lose weight as fast as you can and you have a cheat day, you get disheartened, because you think, great now Iím not going to lose weight as fast because I just went off my diet Ö that can cause you to feel like you arenít doing well on your diet and make you want to give up. If you view it as a lifestyle and not a race to lose weight as fast as you can, itís just a cheat day here and there. A cheat day here and there doesnít mess up a lifestyle and the long term results that you will derive from mostly sticking to it over the long haul.

LW2: Uh oh! We've got a screamer. Um, if itís uncomfortable for you, but not for him, then you can leave or deal with it or find a new place to live.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#9 Feb 25, 2014
L1: Good for you. People need to find what works best for them.

L2: Doesn't seem like your roomie wants to find medium ground for you both to tolerate. Buy some headphones and save your pennies for your next place.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Feb 25, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: Good for you. People need to find what works best for them.
L2: Doesn't seem like your roomie wants to find medium ground for you both to tolerate. Buy some headphones and save your pennies for your next place.
What kins of medium ground do you have in mind? A schedule on the fridge of all his planned upcoming dates with a star next to the ones where he's most likely to get lucky? A muzzle for the date? Seems to me this is something lw needs to figure out on his/her own how to deal with.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#11 Feb 25, 2014
LW1: I need a cookie.

LW2: You have got to get out of there and until you can, you must think of this person as a roommate, not an ex. Get some sound-deadening earphones as well.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#12 Feb 25, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What kins of medium ground do you have in mind? A schedule on the fridge of all his planned upcoming dates with a star next to the ones where he's most likely to get lucky? A muzzle for the date? Seems to me this is something lw needs to figure out on his/her own how to deal with.
They can make an attempt to keep it down. It's called respect. Don't you and the wife try to keep it down if the kids are asleep, or her parents are out on the couch?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#13 Feb 25, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What kins of medium ground do you have in mind? A schedule on the fridge of all his planned upcoming dates with a star next to the ones where he's most likely to get lucky? A muzzle for the date? Seems to me this is something lw needs to figure out on his/her own how to deal with.
Um, something on the doorknob to say "hey, it's our night"? Ha!

It doesn't sound like this guy chooses his nights to get it on -- all nights taken so I don't see where he's going to work with the LW much. Some people would give their roomies advance warning so they can decide whether to stay and deal or do something that night.

I'm with you. I think the LW has to deal. I'd get the headphones or a date for myself that night.:D

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#14 Feb 25, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
They can make an attempt to keep it down. It's called respect. Don't you and the wife try to keep it down if the kids are asleep, or her parents are out on the couch?
I'm thinking it's thin walls. I'd recommend getting soundproofing but since they're living together b/c of finances I'm sure they don't have money for that.

I'll never forget when a roomie of mine as pissed b/c she thought I was up all night getting it on with someone and kept her up all night. Turned out I wasn't even home. She was hearing something from the neighboring BUILDING. Ha!

She cracked up. Guess the neighbors had fun.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#15 Feb 25, 2014
LW2: I have a male roommate and he has a girlfriend who stays over from time to time. Our rooms are conveniently located on opposite sides of the house. We have been roommates for 18 months and there has never been a noise problem. For LW, I would first suggest earplugs. I always use them when travelling and even the cheap ones will allow you to get some sleep. Next, I would suggest shopping around for a different roommate situation.Or, you can try sleeping somewhere in the house/apt. that is farther away from your roommate's room on the nights he has a screamer over. Get a futon and put it on the kitchen floor if you have to.
blunt advice

Brooklyn, NY

#16 Feb 25, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Why would that be a problem. Having a room mate is not an uncommon thing. And while not the majority, having a room mate of the opposite sex(assuming this is not a gay couple, which i think it is) is certainly not unheard of. I've had 2 female room mates in my life. My female co-worker is moving in with a male this week, just as room mates.
The thing that would be questuonable to the date is not that SOMEONE else lives there, but that its an ex.
Give my regards to Janer, Chrissy, and the Ropers Jack! Oh and Furley and Larry too.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#17 Feb 25, 2014
Kuuipo wrote:
LW2: I have a male roommate and he has a girlfriend who stays over from time to time. Our rooms are conveniently located on opposite sides of the house.
Unfortunately, all my rooms are located in one corner of the house. I'm gonna have have to get a roommate or move into an apartment because I can no longer afford this place.(Thanks, Ob... er, I mean Bush!) If I get a roommate, this will actually be a condition of the lease. Whether it's a male or female, no nighttime sex romps. I don't need to hear you, or your gf or bf screaming in ecstasy while I'm trying to sleep in the next room. Either have sex when I'm gone, or do it at THEIR place, I will return the favor. But if I do have sex here (hey, it's my house) I will take care to keep it quiet.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 46 min Teaman 1,154,058
Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 1 hr Mothra 49,205
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 1 hr jacques Ottawau 181,832
Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 1 hr JOEL 71,023
New Beach Boys song. 5 hr The Beach Boys 1
Music Artists A to Z (Feb '14) 6 hr _Zoey_ 363
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 6 hr _Zoey_ 4,918
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 10 hr Ralph 98,853
Chicago Dating
Find my Match
More from around the web

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 1:01 pm PST

NBC Sports 1:01PM
Cowboys' Murray listed as questionable for Colts - NBC Sports
NBC Sports 8:26 AM
Report: Executives suggest Bears could have to attach a draft pick to move Cutler
Bleacher Report11:56 AM
Eagles vs. Redskins: Live Score and Analysis for Philadelphia
Yahoo! Sports 5:54 PM
Eagles playoff hopes suffer with loss to Redskins
Bleacher Report 6:14 PM
RG3 Showing Enough to Remain Starter in WSH