“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#41 Feb 22, 2013
RACE wrote:
Can you point to any line in the letter where he suggested what her duties should be? I missed it.
<quoted text>
"I get the impression...." "Sounds like..."

Work on your reading comprehension, dumass.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#42 Feb 22, 2013
Guys -- not enough info on this. Most of the LWs make themselves out to be this great person that is not being treated right.

It COULD be he's thinking beofre he retired he didn't help around the house so why should he now besides picking up his own socks.(Meaning he never did errands before, never cleans the oven before, etc.)

OR it COULD be the girlfriend sees his retirement as a chance for maid service and her not having to do her part.

Neither of those 2 things are right.

If he is doing his HALF of all the household stuff he shouldn't HAVE to do any more than that. BUT it probably would be nice if he picked up a bit more b/c he wants his gf to have more time.

When in a relationship, all things aren't 50/50. That's just silly. Over a period of years and encompassing everything, it should be about 50/50. You can't start nitpicking (neither one) because then you're just asking for trouble.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#43 Feb 22, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
1- "SEEMS to have this expectation..." he's assuming she's asking him to do everything because she asked him to fold the laundry.
2- You are being presumptuous. Who said she's old enough to retire? He could be her sugar daddy for all we know. And who says she even WANTS to retire?
Manhater.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#44 Feb 22, 2013
No, you should numbnuts, the word "impression" is not even in the letter. But this is...

Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anyone else to pull my weight, but explain to me why I must pull hers, too, as her choices have led her to this place.

So, yea of little brain, it appears like the GF expects a free ride on household chores because she did not plan for retirement, and expects him to do ALL the chores because he did.

Feel free to use your fingers as you eat your crow.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
"I get the impression...." "Sounds like..."
Work on your reading comprehension, dumass.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#45 Feb 22, 2013
Please read the last paragraph of the letter, he DOES his share, SHE does nothing!
Toj wrote:
Guys -- not enough info on this. Most of the LWs make themselves out to be this great person that is not being treated right.
It COULD be he's thinking beofre he retired he didn't help around the house so why should he now besides picking up his own socks.(Meaning he never did errands before, never cleans the oven before, etc.)
OR it COULD be the girlfriend sees his retirement as a chance for maid service and her not having to do her part.
Neither of those 2 things are right.
If he is doing his HALF of all the household stuff he shouldn't HAVE to do any more than that. BUT it probably would be nice if he picked up a bit more b/c he wants his gf to have more time.
When in a relationship, all things aren't 50/50. That's just silly. Over a period of years and encompassing everything, it should be about 50/50. You can't start nitpicking (neither one) because then you're just asking for trouble.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#46 Feb 22, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
1- "SEEMS to have this expectation..." he's assuming she's asking him to do everything because she asked him to fold the laundry.
Nope. He assumes she's asking him to do everything, because she IS asking him to do everything.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>2- You are being presumptuous. Who said she's old enough to retire? He could be her sugar daddy for all we know. And who says she even WANTS to retire?
He says as much, "explain to me why I must pull hers, too, as her choices have led her to this place."

Either she doesn't want to retire or can't retire. Whatever the reason, that's on her. He shouldn't have to spend his golden years doing extra work because of her shortcomings.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#47 Feb 22, 2013
Toj wrote:
Guys -- not enough info on this. Most of the LWs make themselves out to be this great person that is not being treated right.
It COULD be he's thinking beofre he retired he didn't help around the house so why should he now besides picking up his own socks.(Meaning he never did errands before, never cleans the oven before, etc.)
OR it COULD be the girlfriend sees his retirement as a chance for maid service and her not having to do her part.
Neither of those 2 things are right.
If he is doing his HALF of all the household stuff he shouldn't HAVE to do any more than that. BUT it probably would be nice if he picked up a bit more b/c he wants his gf to have more time.
When in a relationship, all things aren't 50/50. That's just silly. Over a period of years and encompassing everything, it should be about 50/50. You can't start nitpicking (neither one) because then you're just asking for trouble.
I disagree. He clearly says she seems to want him to do everything and this is the problem. He says that at the outset and concludes by saying he’s okay with pulling his own weight, but asks why he should have to pull hers too.

This isn’t about him only wanting to pick up socks, unless you want to replace his version of events, with ones you’ve made up on your own. And if you are going to do that, why have it be so drab and about him only wanting to pick up socks … at least make it fun an exciting ... maybe mix some sex into the plot.

So, if we take him at his word, and that is really all we can go by in this situation, it clearly is that his gf sees his retirement as a chance for maid service and her not having to do her part.

BTW, I agree it would be nice if he did a little bit more. I would do so if I were in his case …(I would certainly cook most of the meals for us and do the dishes generated by this), but THIS SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED OR DEMANDED BY THE OTHER PERSON and it doesn’t sound like that would appease her as she expects him to do most of everything, if we take him at his word.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#48 Feb 22, 2013
I would do more than half of the work if my time were taken up with fun leisure activities. Now, if I filled my time with volunteer work, I think that'd be different -- I'd treat that like a job and we'd split household tasks 50/50 or so.

But he says she seems to think he should do it all. Which means she should do none. I don't think that's right or fair.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#49 Feb 22, 2013
It's like she wants to punish him for retiring without waiting for HER to retire.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#50 Feb 22, 2013
Yay! I got empty light bulbs!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#51 Feb 22, 2013
I dont get that. What diff does it make? If you think its "Fun" then you would feel obligated to do more, but if you think its "Work", you feel you should do less. That makes no sense, your not getting paid for either, and both are your OWN choice to do at all.
How YOU feel about what you do all day is not how the GF feels about what you do all day. She is only looking at the fact that he is retired and she is not, so he automatically should be doing all the household chores.

Whether he is surfing or volunteering in the soup kitchen should not have any bearing on the distribution of housework.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I would do more than half of the work if my time were taken up with fun leisure activities. Now, if I filled my time with volunteer work, I think that'd be different --

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#52 Feb 22, 2013
RACE wrote:
No, you should numbnuts, the word "impression" is not even in the letter. But this is...
Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anyone else to pull my weight, but explain to me why I must pull hers, too, as her choices have led her to this place.
So, yea of little brain, it appears like the GF expects a free ride on household chores because she did not plan for retirement, and expects him to do ALL the chores because he did.
Feel free to use your fingers as you eat your crow.
<quoted text>
"I get the impression," and "sounds like" was MY response, that you answered, not something that was in the letter, DUMASS!!!

You make yourself look like more of an ass with every post.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#54 Feb 22, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
... because of her shortcomings.
Womanhater.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Knoxville, TN

#55 Feb 22, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
It's like she wants to punish him for retiring without waiting for HER to retire.
This.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#56 Feb 22, 2013
RACE wrote:
I dont get that. What diff does it make? If you think its "Fun" then you would feel obligated to do more, but if you think its "Work", you feel you should do less. That makes no sense, your not getting paid for either, and both are your OWN choice to do at all.
How YOU feel about what you do all day is not how the GF feels about what you do all day. She is only looking at the fact that he is retired and she is not, so he automatically should be doing all the household chores.
Whether he is surfing or volunteering in the soup kitchen should not have any bearing on the distribution of housework.
<quoted text>
If I were volunteering, I wouldn't do it for FUN. Not all volunteer jobs are FUN. Some just are *meaningful.* And if I do that in my retirement, it's because my retirement income IS my income and that's my financial contribution to the household.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#57 Feb 22, 2013
Most volunteer work is not "Fun", but that still has no bearing on who washes the dishes. So what does your retirement income have to do with anything?
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
If I were volunteering, I wouldn't do it for FUN. Not all volunteer jobs are FUN. Some just are *meaningful.* And if I do that in my retirement, it's because my retirement income IS my income and that's my financial contribution to the household.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#58 Feb 22, 2013
God your pathetic. I asked you to provide a quote from the letter and you replied with your own myopic view as such. They dont come any stupider than you.

Hey! Think your tinfoil hat is slipping, maybe you need more ductape.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
"I get the impression," and "sounds like" was MY response, that you answered, not something that was in the letter, DUMASS!!!
You make yourself look like more of an ass with every post.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#59 Feb 22, 2013
RACE wrote:
Can you point to any line in the letter where he suggested what her duties should be? I missed it.
<quoted text>

"I get the impression...." "Sounds like..."

You really are very, very stupid!

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#60 Feb 22, 2013
RACE wrote:
I dont get that. What diff does it make? If you think its "Fun" then you would feel obligated to do more, but if you think its "Work", you feel you should do less. That makes no sense, your not getting paid for either, and both are your OWN choice to do at all.
How YOU feel about what you do all day is not how the GF feels about what you do all day. She is only looking at the fact that he is retired and she is not, so he automatically should be doing all the household chores.
Whether he is surfing or volunteering in the soup kitchen should not have any bearing on the distribution of housework.
<quoted text>
But it would matter, usually. Human nature. And if the guy was surfing all day and the woman was working her pants off, you're right that it isn't his problem that she could not get her laundry done or get dinner b/c she is too busy. It isn't his problem.

Someone who cares about someone, though, would not feel that way.

We don't know if that's the situation.

But for argument sake, let's say he is goofing off all day and feels that it's his right b/c he earned his retirement. Kudos! Whether or not she has a right to get miffed that he doesn't help her doesn't mean she's not going to resent the fact that he doesn't WANT to help her.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#61 Feb 22, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
If I were volunteering, I wouldn't do it for FUN. Not all volunteer jobs are FUN. Some just are *meaningful.* And if I do that in my retirement, it's because my retirement income IS my income and that's my financial contribution to the household.
It has to do with energy level and what you can logically do and how much free personal time you feel you have. Do I have that right? That's how I'm taking it.

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