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1 - 20 of 20 Comments Last updated Feb 5, 2014

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#1
Feb 5, 2014
 
DEAR AMY: Two weeks ago, I took my girlfriend/fiancee/girlfriend of more than eight years to church. We drove her car. As I parked the car after dropping her off, I reached for a tissue from the glove box, and I pulled out a gift card given to her by another man.

I confronted her about this, and she told me that he had come over to her house days before Christmas. That night I found that he had posted a picture of the two of them on his Facebook cover page. I immediately ended the relationship and vowed never to return to her house.

She has since tried to keep in contact, delivering needed tax documents that are coming to her house in the mail. I truly love her, and in a moment of weakness we were intimate a week after we broke up when she stopped by to give me more mail.

She is definitely manipulating me, and I have no intention of repairing our relationship. She is persistent and wants me back. I would appreciate any input you can provide that would help me strengthen my resolve to get past this.-- Heartbroken

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Your description of this person as “girlfriend/fiancee/girlfriend ” tells me that you have had some real ups and downs over the course of eight years. Look for patterns to see how this behavior fits into the overall picture.

If you truly want this relationship to end, you will have to stop having sex with her. From now on, arrange to meet at a diner if you have business to discuss.

My most valuable advice to you is also ancient wisdom: Time heals all wounds. You have made a definitive move away from this relationship. To continue to heal, you will have to put one foot in front of the other — to recover your pride, develop other friendships and distractions — and start to live your own life.

DEAR AMY: I just finished my first semester of college. One class I had was very meaningful because a guy and I exchanged smiles and constant eye contact.

Here is where it gets messy: He was my professor.

I visited his office during the semester, and I swear there was flirting, but I’m really bad at deciphering that type of stuff. We cracked jokes, and it was a comfortable environment.

Today I went to see him to go over my final paper. Even though the class is over, I wanted an excuse to go see him. After we went over my paper, he kept the conversation going. I, probably overthinking it, read between the lines and imagined he was interested in me. He also encouraged me to stop by if ever I was passing through the building.

That just made me have a bigger crush on him.

Do you think he has feelings for me? I want to let him know of my feelings, but I want it to be subtle (but obvious enough for him to get the hint). But at the same time, I don’t want to ruin the good relationship we already have as teacher/student.-- What to Do?

DEAR TO DO: I do not think this professor has romantic feelings for you. The two of you have a nice rapport, but building a positive relationship with students is part of what teachers do.

I can’t recommend that you should hit on your professor; this would be a potentially terrible choice on your part. Furthermore, if he chose to have a romantic relationship with you, it would show poor judgment on his part, jeopardizing his career and your college experience. Save your romantic energy for a fellow student.

DEAR AMY: The letter from “So Sad” about the death of a cat moved me, but your answer baffled me. You said,“There is no loss quite like the loss of a pet.”

How can you equate the death of a pet to the death of a person?-- Baffled

DEAR BAFFLED: I’ve experienced both kinds of loss (in abundance), and I’m not putting one loss over another; I am saying that they are different.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#2
Feb 5, 2014
 

Judged:

1

1 Strange lack of woman bashing, after all she is two timing the guy and when the guy is the one doing it lamy usually says....Ho never mind...

2 There is no career jeopardy if they are not professor/student, so I say jump his bones. Its been going on since they let women out of the kitchen and into college.

3 reading comprehension fail.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#3
Feb 5, 2014
 
LW2: DOn't be a fool. THis will pass. Don't do anything. Find a guy your own age. And if he *did* hook up with you, you will have to accept that he'll probably do that with someone else next term or next year.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

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#4
Feb 5, 2014
 

Judged:

1

1

1: It does sound as though she's cheating and it will likely continue even if you marry her. So do yourself a favor and stop having sex with her (or you'll end up being attached to her for the next 18+ years when she gets pregnant) or seeing her anyplace other than in public. As Amy says, meet at a diner for coffee if she needs to give you tax documents or other important mail. In the meantime give the post office your new address for forwarding your mail and update your employer, bank, credit card company, magazine subscriptions, and all other correspondents with your change of address. Yes, breaking up will be hard but it sounds like you need to do it. Get out and find other activities where you won't see her. Meet new people.

2: Don't get involved with this guy. It will only complicate your life. Even if he is no longer your professor, having a relationship with him can effect how other professors may view you when they find out (and they probably will). I don't know what the general rules are now about faculty having romantic relationships with students but 40 + years ago, it was very much frowned upon and a professor could lose his job. Keep it friendly and if you're both still seem interested when you graduate, you can try for a relationship then.

3: I don't see the point of comparing how a person grieves for a pet with their grief for a human being.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#5
Feb 5, 2014
 
LW1: If you really mean what you say, ask her to FedEx you any important papers and keep your pants on if you *have* to see her (but I can't see why you would, if you really mean what you say).

LW2: This is all in your head. Concentrate on your schoolwork instead of making goggly eyes at your professors.

Can't you just picture that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where the girl has written "Love You" on her eyelids.

LW3: Baffled, Schmaffled.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#6
Feb 5, 2014
 

Judged:

1

LW1: You should have told her to put the shyte in the mail and stay the away from you and your house … it’s over. You sound like a total puss. No wonder she strayed.

Just cut her out of your life. You aren’t going to be able to separate the sex from the emotional stuff. Your feelings are too strong and you are weak.

LW2: Cracking jokes, a comfortable environment, conversation, and an invitation to stop by to say hi, doesn’t sound like flirting to me. I would never in a million years think a professor had the hots for me if that was the extent of our relationship.
Blunt Advice

New York, NY

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#7
Feb 5, 2014
 
1. Go to post office and sign up for mail forwarding. She must keep that confession booth busy. Move on. Designate someone to pick up your mail that doesn't get forwarded.
2. You are reading way too much into this. His interest in you is as a student only. Find a nice frat boy.
3. Losing pets is often more traumatic than losing humans. Yes it is.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#8
Feb 5, 2014
 
squishymama wrote:
Can't you just picture that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where the girl has written "Love You" on her eyelids.
It was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but yeah.
:)

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#9
Feb 5, 2014
 
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
It was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but yeah.
:)
There might have been a scene like that in the Last Crusade too, but I haven't watched it over 100 times, like I have with Raiders of the Lost Ark.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#10
Feb 5, 2014
 
That came off sounding cr*ppy, jmw. I didn't mean it that way.

It's just that I *know* that movie; I had HUGE Harrison Ford thing going on in the 80's.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#11
Feb 5, 2014
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
There might have been a scene like that in the Last Crusade too, but I haven't watched it over 100 times, like I have with Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I'm pretty sure JMW is right and it is the last crusade. That was also my favorite movie out of the bunch.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#12
Feb 5, 2014
 
Squishy is right:

http://www.youtube.com/watch...

It was ROTLA.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#13
Feb 5, 2014
 
squishymama wrote:
That came off sounding cr*ppy, jmw. I didn't mean it that way.
It's just that I *know* that movie; I had HUGE Harrison Ford thing going on in the 80's.
Haha, I know how you meant it. I only remember it from Last Crusade, but that's my favorite one so I've seen it more times than Raiders.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#14
Feb 5, 2014
 
Well, sh1t. I need to brush up on my Indy movies!
Julie

Skokie, IL

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#15
Feb 5, 2014
 
LW2: OMFG--what are you, 12? GROW THE EFF UP.

And since that obviously would be too much effort for your dumb @$$, why don't you pass Susie a note and ask her to give it to Billy, and tell him to pass it to the Profesor: "Oh Professor Darling, I WUV you! Do you WUV me back?" <eyeroll>

And this is the one college class you find "very meaningful"---because you have a ludicrous crush on your Prof? I hope your parents stop paying your tuition, you stupid t**t.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#16
Feb 5, 2014
 
1: What a weenie. A moment of weakness? Spare me. She would not have made it past my threshold. She's using you, ya doormat. Grow a spine and a pair.

2: Meh--I'd have to see it myself to know for sure.
But re: Stina: he could be her age!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#17
Feb 5, 2014
 
2- Glad you made it through one semester without wanting to bang your professor... Oh wait...

There are five thousand boys your age on that campus. Daddy issues much?

And race, it still might be a problem if she's still a student. Depends on their ethics policy.

And jmw, squishy was right, it was Raiders

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#18
Feb 5, 2014
 
Sublime1 wrote:
That was also my favorite movie out of the bunch.
Oh god, that seconded in suckiness only to the Chrystal Skulls. Raiders was the best one by far.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#19
Feb 5, 2014
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>Oh god, that seconded in suckiness only to the Chrystal Skulls. Raiders was the best one by far.
No way. The Last Crusade had Sean Connery in it too. His character was great with Indy's. It also had that smoking hot fräulein.

I would rank them:

The Last Crusade
ROTLA
Temple of Doom
Crystal Skulls (hated it ... Should have never been made ... Can't stand that punk actor in it from the transformer movies, either)

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#20
Feb 5, 2014
 
Smoking hot fraulein

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