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“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Apr 4, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Wade," and I went into a convenience store near our home that we frequent regularly. A new employee -- a pretty, much younger girl -- stared at Wade with an expression of recognition and surprise on her face. When I asked him what that was about, he laughed it off and said I was "imagining things."

The next time we saw her, Wade acted nervous and started talking fast, as if trying to distract me. He seemed to be avoiding eye contact with her. She ignored me while obviously trying to lock eyes with Wade. The third time, she again ignored me but smirked and giggled while we were checking out. Then she shouted, "See ya later!" to my husband as we were walking out the door. When I turned, I caught Wade glaring at her.

When I asked why he did it, he replied, "I looked at her like that because she was acting like an idiot." When I asked why she'd be acting like an idiot if they didn't know each other, he started screaming at me. He called me crazy and threatened to leave me if I bring the subject up again.

Should I ask her why she seems so amused by my husband? And why is he angry at me?-- SMELLS SOMETHING FISHY

DEAR SMELLS: By all means ask because I'll bet she is dying to tell you. Your husband may have been seeing her or someone she knows. He attacked you because he felt guilty about something and didn't want to discuss it.

It proves the truth of the adage, "The best defense is a strong offense." Believe me, you have my sympathy, but you need to get to the bottom of this, so don't put it off.

DEAR ABBY: What do you call additions to your family that result from second or third marriages? Our daughter died several years ago. I refer to her widower as my son-in-law, but what term should I use when I introduce his new wife? She has two daughters from a previous marriage -- sweet girls who call me "Granddad." Technically, they are not my granddaughters -- but what are they?

These are just two examples of modern relationships that seem to require a new vocabulary. I have tried searching the Internet for answers without luck. Any suggestions?-- FAMILY MAN IN TEXAS

DEAR FAMILY MAN: When introducing your late daughter's husband and his wife, try this: "This is my son-in-law 'Sam' and his wife,'Virginia.'" If you're asked for clarification, which I doubt will happen, give more details. As to the woman's daughters who are not blood related to you, because they call you "Granddad," refer to them as your granddaughters and leave it at that.

DEAR ABBY: Where does the priest get the ashes for Ash Wednesday?-- MARY IN VISTA, CALIF.

DEAR MARY: Traditionally, palm branches from the previous year's Palm Sunday are burned to create the ashes, and those ashes are retained for the next year's Ash Wednesday. Some people keep the palm fronds from the last Palm Sunday tucked behind a cross or a religious picture in their home and bring them to be burned. I have this on good authority.(When I told a priest I would have guessed they were left over from the Inquisition, he laughed.)

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Apr 4, 2013
LW1: 1) Sure. Stop in and talk to her.
2) Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it just seems odd to me that this couple goes into a convenience store TOGETHER on a seemingly regular basis. Other than on a road trip, I've never gone into a convenience store WITH my wife. The only things I ever buy at convenience stores are lotto and the occasional soda.

LW2: What Abby said. Seriously, if you are having so much trouble finding an accurate term for them, who do you think will know what you mean if you do find an accurate term? Either way, you'll need to elaborate.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Apr 4, 2013
L1: I agree. Ask the girl. HOWEVER, if he had an affair with her, or if they had something going on before you two met, why on earth would he return to that store repeatedly, with his wife?

L2: "These are just two examples of modern relationships that seem to require a new vocabulary." Right. Because no one was widowed and remarried until recent times.

Why worry so much about labels? "This is Tom. He was married to my daughter. This is his wife, Sue." Keep referring to the kids as grandkids. Don't make it complicated. I think it's wonderful that the stepgrandkids call you "granddad."

L3: Cremations. Honest. This is totally true.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Apr 4, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
HOWEVER, if he had an affair with her, or if they had something going on before you two met, why on earth would he return to that store repeatedly, with his wife?
From the sounds of it, they go to this store together regularly. My guess is, the first time was a surprise to him. The second time, the wife wanted to stop in as usual, and he was unable to come up with a good non-suspicious reason to not go.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Apr 4, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
From the sounds of it, they go to this store together regularly. My guess is, the first time was a surprise to him. The second time, the wife wanted to stop in as usual, and he was unable to come up with a good non-suspicious reason to not go.
Yeah, that makes sense.

THe problem is, so she asks the girl and the girl tells her something very bad like, "We hooked up for sex a couple of times three years ago." Then what? This whole thing sounds like it'll go downhill.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#6 Apr 4, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, that makes sense.
THe problem is, so she asks the girl and the girl tells her something very bad like, "We hooked up for sex a couple of times three years ago." Then what? This whole thing sounds like it'll go downhill.
That would suck, but isn't it better that she finds out and can take action (if she chooses) than just wonder and continue to have these awkward encounters?

“Colorful Beyond Words ”

Since: May 11

" Live, Laugh, Love "

#7 Apr 4, 2013
LW1 If you ask the chick at the store, just be prepared for hearing the worst. Then you have some decisions to really make.

LW2 Go with Abby. I think most have some type of unconventionalism in their families today.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#8 Apr 4, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
This whole thing sounds like it'll go downhill.
"When I asked why she'd be acting like an idiot if they didn't know each other, he started screaming at me. He called me crazy and threatened to leave me if I bring the subject up again."

He's threatened to leave her over this. Its already going downhill.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#9 Apr 4, 2013
L1 This sound more present tense than past. Thesedays it might also be because they recognize each other from a naughty website as much as some hook up. It could be she has sn him in a bar, with a friend of hers , in the lingerie section etc

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#10 Apr 4, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: I agree. Ask the girl. HOWEVER, if he had an affair with her, or if they had something going on before you two met, why on earth would he return to that store?
It's their daily excercise; they walk up there together to buy their smokes.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#11 Apr 4, 2013
LW1: Methinks the bum doth protest too much.

LW2: Stop worrying about labels. If both parties are ok with "granddad", then so be it.

LW3: It's last years palm fronds from Palm Sunday mixed with some kinds of oil that smells really good.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Apr 4, 2013
L1: To me, it sounds like she's doing him. If it were me, I'd stop in the store and have a chat with her w/o hubby around. Don't get judgy with her -- she's not the problem, your husband is and she won't be in your life so go in there to talk to her, not yell. Get the scoop then decide what you want to do with your marriage.

L2: Huh? It's been done for years, it's nothing new, Abby. Best friends' kids call the adults "Aunts" and 'Uncles", "Grannie" for an older woman who is close the family, etc. I think it's awesome he's keeping close and including his wife and kids.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#13 Apr 4, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L3: Cremations. Honest. This is totally true.
What Abby said. At least that's what they did when I went to private school. We even did the palm thing behind the cross.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#14 Apr 4, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L3: Cremations. Honest. This is totally true.
I don't know what church you're attending, but I've been involved in the ritual at an episcopal church and it was definitely last year's palm fronds.

They burned them on the evening of Fat Tuesday out in front of the church while chanting some prayer, and my FIL leaned over and whispered to me "d*mn pagans." I almost laughed out loud.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#15 Apr 4, 2013
LW2 needs to stop giving Texas a bad name. Family
is family--whether by blood or choice. Call them his grand daughters, already.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#16 Apr 4, 2013
1- The most effed up part is that he threatened to leave you if you brought it up again. I would have told him to pack his bags.

Is it possible she is his long lost daughter he recently reconnected with and wants to keep it from his wife?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#17 Apr 4, 2013
LW1: Sure.

LW2: What Abby said.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#18 Apr 4, 2013
LW1: The girl used to work as a stipper at your husband's favorite club and she gave him a lap dance or two. Or worse. But there is clearly something going on here. Pull yourself together, go over there, and innocently ask, "So, how do you know my husband, Wade?"

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#19 Apr 4, 2013
1 Well aren't you the suspicious little nag!

2 Aren't you a little old to go looking to complicate you life?

3 The 7-11

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#20 Apr 4, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
"When I asked why she'd be acting like an idiot if they didn't know each other, he started screaming at me. He called me crazy and threatened to leave me if I bring the subject up again."
He's threatened to leave her over this. Its already going downhill.
True.

Does your wife ever get tired of your being right 99% of the time?

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