“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Feb 8, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Kyra," has joined the drama department at our school. She has made a lot of theater friends now and hangs out with them every day after school. She used to meet me occasionally at my locker after school, but no longer does so. The only time I see her, she's with her theater friends, and I'm uncomfortable because I don't know them and I'm shy.

I'm trying to make friends with Kyra's friends, but when I'm with her, she kind of ignores me and doesn't try to include me as much as she could. It's depressing that my best friend would rather hang out with other people than me. I'm missing her. What do I do?-- CAST-OFF IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAST-OFF: Kyra's behavior is insensitive, but I don't think you can change her. So the solution will be for you to become less emotionally dependent upon her. A way to do that would be to develop some outside interests of your own and start cultivating them.

While Kyra might have a flair for drama, perhaps you might be more interested in sports, art, computers, etc. If you start to explore what activities are available, it will provide you with a larger circle of acquaintances, and you'll miss your friend less because you are filling your time with other things. Please give it a try.

DEAR ABBY: Three times in the last week I have been hugged by people who then informed me that they were sick. At dinner last night, one friend blew his nose throughout the meal and then wanted to shake hands. Yuck!

A little reminder during cold season: If you are sick, "coming down with something" or even just "fighting off a little bug," don't hug others! Don't give a little peck on the cheek or shake hands. You can politely mention that you are "a bit under the weather and don't want to share." Other people won't be offended or think you are being standoffish. They will be grateful for your thoughtfulness.-- TRYING TO STAY HEALTHY

DEAR TRYING: That's good advice, if folks are willing to heed it. I can only add that flu vaccinations, frequent hand-washing and a small bottle of hand sanitizer can lessen the chances of getting these viruses when our friends are in a state of denial, and it wasn't "an allergy."

DEAR ABBY: I'm not particularly attractive, pretty or girly. I don't think I'm what boys are looking for, so I tend to not be too involved with them. I have a lot of male friends, but I have never had a first kiss, a first date, etc.

Yesterday, a guy friend asked me out. I was shocked. I saw him as only a friend and never thought of him as a boyfriend, so I said no. He acted like it wasn't a big deal. Things aren't awkward between us, but I think I may have hurt his feelings or his self-esteem.

After school -- he'd asked me out after my third class -- I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't regret my decision, but I'm worried about him. Can you help me?-- CONCERNED IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR CONCERNED: It might help to recognize that people ask each other out for a variety of reasons -- which can include needing a date for an event, romantic interest or just wanting to hang out with someone who is good company. Not knowing your friend, I can't guess what his reason was when he asked you out.

Because you think you may have hurt his feelings, make a point of telling him that you hope you didn't. And mention that since you are new to the idea of dating, you think you may owe him an apology because you care about him as a friend.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Feb 8, 2014
1- Kyra isn't the *only* one who's joined the drama department....

2- You can't catch a cold when you HAVE a cold. So, think of it as a type of vaccination.

3- "I'm not particularly attractive, pretty or girly." " I have never had a first kiss, a first date, etc."

Story of my life...:(
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#3 Feb 8, 2014
1: Ugh, so middle/early high school.
I remember this girl in 5th grade, Sarah, who acted like m best friend. We were awesome. Then one day-like a light switch-she stopped talking and acknowledgeing me. On the playgroun I watched her swing and laugh with others, and it baffled me. It hurt for a smidge. Did I whine to my mom about it? Nope. I found new friends.

Oh: and in field day, in the high jump, I kicked her butt and took 1st place!

2: Any chance to push vacs, eh? False security, those things.
I agree fully with LW but every germy idiot doesn't read these columnists, and if they did they would be too dense to realize it was them in the first place! I hate letters like this...

3: This is weird. She spends the first half of the letter whining about how she's not dateable, then tells us how she denied a date.
If she's content waiting to say yes to a better guy, then stop whining that no one will ask you out. Blerg!

I didn't get my first french kiss until college and I am not ugly, so chill. Of course, I'm an utter snob so guys look but never ask, rofl. Except the insane ones *coughedog*
Cass

Claremont, CA

#4 Feb 8, 2014
Skipping right over LW1 and LW2

LW3 - Why did you say, "no"? Did you not like the guy? If you think that only pretty and girly women get asked out, you haven't looked at married couples around you recently. If you are not interested in guys, however, that's a different matter. If you *would* like to go out with that guy, ask him out. Say something along the lines of, "Your asking me out took me by surprise and I said no before I had a chance to think about it, but I really would like to go out. Shall we start over? Would you like to go out with me on Saturday?"

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#5 Feb 8, 2014
cheluzal wrote:
I'm an utter snob so guys look but never ask, rofl. Except the insane ones *coughedog*
Next time I see you, I'm gonna drop what I'm holding, grab you with both arms, plant you the sloppiest kiss ever, then let you go and act like nothing happened
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#6 Feb 8, 2014
LW1: HA! This happened to me fairly recently with a salsa friend. It was bewildering but I have plenty of other friends.

LW2: Well, you can't do anything about other people's habits, so wash your hands a lot and use hand sanitizer. Or deliberately avoid those who are coughing and sneezing. Or walk around with one of those masks on.

LW3: You should go out with your friend. Maybe you'll start to like him as more than a friend. Maybe not. But you'll get dating practice, and you need that.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#7 Feb 8, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
1- Kyra isn't the *only* one who's joined the drama department....
My *exact* thought...

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#8 Feb 9, 2014
You are the bearer of unconditional things
you held your breath
and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
What took me so long

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