“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Nov 6, 2013
DEAR ABBY: For 2 1/2 years I have taken care of my daughter without the help of her father. He pays child support only when the courts threaten to throw him in jail, but he never comes to see her. When he does come by, it's not to see or spend time with her, it's to try and get sex from me. Sometimes I give in and give it to him as an itch to scratch.

He recently got "married" and now has four other children. The last time he was over, I noticed that he has all his children's initials tattooed on his arm except our daughter's, and it bothered me.

I only want what is best for my little girl, and I have made it clear that if he isn't a part of her life now, that he needs to stay away until she's an adult. I don't want her to be hurt by a part-time or sometimes dad. I guess my question is, is it OK to be angry that he doesn't recognize her as his child but does his other four?-- PO'D IN OHIO

DEAR PO'D: Oh, goodness gracious, yes. And because you don't want your child to be hurt by this man, I'm advising you to quit being his booty call. There are other ways to scratch an itch, depending upon whose itch it is. If you continue seeing him under these circumstances, you could wind up being the mother of another one of his children, God forbid.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this hoping that anyone who is in a supervisory position at work will see it and think before pressuring employees to buy popcorn, cookies, wrapping paper, trinkets, chocolate bars, etc., for their children's schools or organizations. This is extortion. I have tried saying, "No, thank you," but I get such a bad attitude from my supervisor that I end up ordering something -- usually the cheapest item -- to avoid the drama.
I can't afford to drop $20 here and there on items I wouldn't otherwise buy or eat. It's a lot of money to employees who haven't had wage or benefit increases in more than four years. I can barely keep my car filled with gas and have to unroll coins sometimes to pick up food for dinner a day or two before payday.

Please tell bosses and managers not to solicit sales from employees. It's tacky!-- TURNED OFF IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TURNED OFF: I'm happy to get the word out because I agree that the sales tactic your supervisor is using is tacky. Parents who do this for their children deny the kids the experience of doing the selling and learning to cope with rejection if prospective customers don't buy.

Because you don't have $20 to spare, you might be able to deflect the "attitude" by offering a small donation -- a dollar or two -- to the cause. But if you can't spare any money, then stiffen your spine and don't let yourself be made to feel guilty. Buying things you don't need is not part of your job description.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law wrote the following to my husband in a birthday card: "I couldn't find a card that really fit you. None of them said 'sweet, kind, sexy, lovable, friendly, intelligent, or one of the best brothers-in-law ever,' so I'm telling you in my own words. If I could get ahold of my husband's money, I'd send you on a cruise."

Was this appropriate? I don't think so. My husband says she didn't mean anything. Help?-- SHOCKED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SHOCKED: Speaking of cruises, throw your sister-in-law a lifesaver, because I think she went overboard.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Nov 6, 2013
1 JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!
What a train wreck, I feel so sorry for your daughter. A not-existent dad and and idiot for a mother. Please have someone explain birth control to you.

2 Come up with your own fake solicitations for your niece or whatever and get the money, then give it back for their kids crap.

3 Its only inappropriate if you are not invited on the cruise.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#3 Nov 6, 2013
RACE wrote:
1 JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!
You beat me to it.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#4 Nov 6, 2013
1- You're mad that he's not involved in your daughter's life, but not mad enough that you still give it up to him? Whorecon 3.

3- Unfukingwind it was a joke. Sheesh, people just look for things to get offended about

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#5 Nov 6, 2013
LW1: If you really believe this, take it to the courts and make it official. If you don't, he will always think it's OK to just show up whenever he feels like he needs a booty call.

And what's with using "married" in quotes? They just shaking up or civilly unioned?

LW2: I'm guessing your workplace is too small to have an effective HR department, because this is something that there are usually rules against. Next time you are solicited, say no and then mmake notes on all the interractions you have with the boss. If there really is retaliation going on because you refuse to purchase something, that is something you can take to the EEOC regardless if you have an HR department.

LW3: I'm having a hard time figuring out the familial relationship here. The title sister-in-law indicates to me the sister of your husband, but she calls him the best brother-in-law ever, so clearly she is not his sister. Who the eff is this woman?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#6 Nov 6, 2013
LW1: Both your daughterÂ’s parents are complete idiots.

LW2: I agree. I never bring any of that stuff to work.

LW3: Inappropriate.
Blunt Advice

Saddle River, NJ

#7 Nov 6, 2013
1. Get your tubes tied. Hopefully your daughter has someone to look up as you are a moron.
2. Newsflash, most of the money from those fundraisers goes to the supplier. For example a girl scout troop keeps less than a dollar for a 5 dollar box of cookies. Grow a spine and say no. If supv harasses you go to hr. Period.
3. Hubbys brothers wife has the hots for him. Protect your assets come divorce time.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#8 Nov 6, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW3: I'm having a hard time figuring out the familial relationship here. The title sister-in-law indicates to me the sister of your husband, but she calls him the best brother-in-law ever, so clearly she is not his sister. Who the eff is this woman?
Her brother's wife.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#9 Nov 6, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Her brother's wife.
I wish they'd be more precise in these stupid letters.

Thanks edog.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#10 Nov 6, 2013
I dont believe it correct though.
her sil may be her bro's wife, but bro's wife is not sil to her bil unless bil is married to sil sister (or brother).
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I wish they'd be more precise in these stupid letters.
Thanks edog.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#11 Nov 6, 2013
RACE wrote:
I dont believe it correct though.
her sil may be her bro's wife, but bro's wife is not sil to her bil unless bil is married to sil sister (or brother).
<quoted text>
"I'm my own grandpa...."

Now I will have that song stuck in my head aaaaaalllllll day!
plumloco

United States

#12 Nov 6, 2013
It is the husband's brother's wife. She would be an in-law to both the LW and her husband.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#13 Nov 6, 2013
RACE wrote:
I dont believe it correct though.
her sil may be her bro's wife, but bro's wife is not sil to her bil unless bil is married to sil sister (or brother).
<quoted text>
It's the WIFE'S sister in law (the lw), not necessarily the husband's.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#14 Nov 6, 2013
plumloco wrote:
It is the husband's brother's wife. She would be an in-law to both the LW and her husband.
Then wouldn't her brother's wife also be an inlaw to both?
plumloco

United States

#15 Nov 6, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
It's the WIFE'S sister in law (the lw), not necessarily the husband's.
WRONG - in her card she calls him brother in law. It's like I said, it is the husband's brother's wife, which would make her an in-law to both the LW and her husband.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#16 Nov 6, 2013
plumloco wrote:
<quoted text>
WRONG - in her card she calls him brother in law. It's like I said, it is the husband's brother's wife, which would make her an in-law to both the LW and her husband.
Ok, but how come HIS brother's wife is a sister inlaw to both, but HER brother's wife isn't?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#17 Nov 6, 2013
The LW is Tennessee where the state vegetable is pump kin. You all could be right, lol.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#18 Nov 6, 2013
L1: No sympathy for you. Sleeping with your ex who doesn't treat your daughter right? You're both idiots.

L2: I buy if I want to, I don't if I don't want to. One time, years and years ago, I had someone threatened to fire me if I didn't give to a charity. Right in front of the Director who was saying these things I picked up the phone and asked Directory Assistance for the phone number of the EEOC. Never hassled me again. I was in my 20s. I wonder if I'd be as assertive now. I hope so.

L3: What the heck are you going to do about it? Now you just sound jealous which doesn't sit well. Let it go.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#19 Nov 6, 2013
plumloco wrote:
<quoted text>
WRONG - in her card she calls him brother in law. It's like I said, it is the husband's brother's wife, which would make her an in-law to both the LW and her husband.
I disagree. Can't be both. My wife's brother is MY bil. His wife is my wife's SIL, but she's not MY sil. She's my bil's wife.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#20 Nov 6, 2013
If a brother and sister in law are married to eachother... isn't that a form of incest?

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