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“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Knoxville, TN

#21 Feb 28, 2013
1. Time for little Johnny to take off his diapers.

2. You should sue everyone else to get a just reallocation. You have been screwed big time. You must right this wrong.

3. Don't be surprised if the police take an hour to get there, then tell you they can't do anything because they didn't see anything. Calling the cops for an idling vehicle? You are a jackhole of a neighbor.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#22 Feb 28, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't believe you are correct. If I remember correctly, I never pinpointed a time where it was not okay, but I believe I gave some indications of what would be okay.
I Am correct. You just confirmed it. You never pinpointed a time. But you seem ok with this lw and 5 years. So O'm woeking it down to see if we can pinpoint your threshhold.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#23 Feb 28, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I Am correct. You just confirmed it. You never pinpointed a time. But you seem ok with this lw and 5 years. So O'm woeking it down to see if we can pinpoint your threshhold.
I never said where the cut off was for not being okay, but I gave an indication of durations that would be okay. There was never any question based on what I said that 5 or even 3 years would be okay.

Some things are not amenable to bright line rules.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#24 Feb 28, 2013
for dating, is 1yr too soon?
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I never said where the cut off was for not being okay, but I gave an indication of durations that would be okay. There was never any question based on what I said that 5 or even 3 years would be okay.
Some things are not amenable to bright line rules.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#25 Feb 28, 2013
RACE wrote:
for dating, is 1yr too soon?
<quoted text>


I think right around 1 year is where I would be okay with it.

Like I said, tho, it's not a bright line rule. What about ten months? I think I'd probably be okay with that, even though I think a one year period is a better rule of thumb.

What about 6 months? I think that is too soon, but I think in the other letter we talked about the woman likely started dating in a matter of a few months ... like 2 or 3. She was already contemplating marriage less than a year after her husband's death. That's outrageous. Sheesh, if my wife is out seeking men a mere 2 or 3 months after I kick it, I'm gonna go poltergeist on her a$s, lol.:p

Me, I'd wait at least a year and wouldn't be in a hurry to get back on the market. I might even wait a few years.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#26 Feb 28, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
Sheesh, if my wife is out seeking men a mere 2 or 3 months after I kick it, I'm gonna go poltergeist on her a$s, lol.:p
What if she wasn't lookin for love, but after 5 months, she just needed to scratch and itch and got together with Deuce Bigelow?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#27 Feb 28, 2013
Once I'm in the ground or burnt up real crispy and ashy -- I really don't care the timing of my significant other's next relationship. I wouldn't say a thing.:D

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules, although that's what sounds like you guys are saying, too.

There are people who are sick for years -- who really weren't "alive" but hanging on. I think that would make a difference of when the next relationship starts.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#28 Feb 28, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I think right around 1 year is where I would be okay with it.
Like I said, tho, it's not a bright line rule. What about ten months? I think I'd probably be okay with that, even though I think a one year period is a better rule of thumb.
What about 6 months? I think that is too soon, but I think in the other letter we talked about the woman likely started dating in a matter of a few months ... like 2 or 3. She was already contemplating marriage less than a year after her husband's death. That's outrageous. Sheesh, if my wife is out seeking men a mere 2 or 3 months after I kick it, I'm gonna go poltergeist on her a$s, lol.:p
Me, I'd wait at least a year and wouldn't be in a hurry to get back on the market. I might even wait a few years.
I think adding younger kids to this would also affect (effect? damn, I don't feel like looking it up!) how long is a good time to wait.

This 18 yo should be at the point were he understands that adults want a certain type of relationship (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Little ones just don't get that.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#29 Feb 28, 2013
RACE wrote:
Weren't you the one who said you would be angry at your surviving parent it they did not grieve long enough to suit you? You said something along the lines that you would also like to be consulted before they started dating again.
<quoted text>
My will has iron clad conditions in it that control every penny that my heirs inherit for a minimum of 100 years after my death. Also, they must wear the equivalent of widow's weeds for a minimum of 3 years and longer if they feel the need. If they don't like it they forfeit the money. Bwahahaha!

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#30 Feb 28, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What if she wasn't lookin for love, but after 5 months, she just needed to scratch and itch and got together with Deuce Bigelow?
That's what sex toys are for.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#31 Feb 28, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I think adding younger kids to this would also affect (effect? damn, I don't feel like looking it up!) how long is a good time to wait.
This 18 yo should be at the point were he understands that adults want a certain type of relationship (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Little ones just don't get that.
I don't think there is any question after 5 years, it's okay.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#32 Feb 28, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't think there is any question after 5 years, it's okay.
Agreed.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#33 Feb 28, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I think adding younger kids to this would also affect (effect? damn, I don't feel like looking it up!) how long is a good time to wait.
This 18 yo should be at the point were he understands that adults want a certain type of relationship (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Little ones just don't get that.
It's "affect" in this case. And here's how to remember them!

Affect (verb)= influence.
Effect (noun)= consequence, result. Also can mean personal property. Captain Jack Sparrow refers to his sword, hat, belt, and compass as his effects.

But wait!-- there is also a noun-affect and a verb-effect!

Affect (noun)=(psych) emotion, demeanor, particularly emotion as expressed or observed by others
Effect (verb)= bring about, cause to happen, accomplish

"Psychotropic drugs can effect a change in the patient's affect."

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#34 Feb 28, 2013
VAdame wrote:
same,ted text>
It's "affect" in this case. And here's how to remember them!
Affect (verb)= influence.
Effect (noun)= consequence, result. Also can mean personal property. Captain Jack Sparrow refers to his sword, hat, belt, and compass as his effects.
But wait!-- there is also a noun-affect and a verb-effect!
Affect (noun)=(psych) emotion, demeanor, particularly emotion as expressed or observed by others
Effect (verb)= bring about, cause to happen, accomplish
"Psychotropic drugs can effect a change in the patient's affect."
Thanks for trying VAdame, but I seem to have a mental block around this. Mimi's tried too. But without fail, I will have to look it up next time I want to be sure I'm correct.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Des Plaines, IL

#35 Feb 28, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L1, sort of: Several people have reacted with surprise that Jasper is dating "so soon" after he and I split up, especially since we were still talking so frequently. I know it's different than death, because there were reasons vs. just circumstances for the relationship to end, but it's still pretty much a consensus. Just an observation.
my SIL is seeing someone already... her jackass is also seeing someone. <shaking head> they're both nuts and she, especialy, need time to work on herself first. but, SILs bf seems to ground her a little. so who am i to say much of anything.

hubby & i keep reminding myself that the marriage was over many years ago. so, yes, circumstances can make a difference in the way relationships end nad how people move on afterwards.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#36 Feb 28, 2013
Aisle Sitter wrote:
<quoted text>
my SIL is seeing someone already... her jackass is also seeing someone. <shaking head> they're both nuts and she, especialy, need time to work on herself first. but, SILs bf seems to ground her a little. so who am i to say much of anything.
hubby & i keep reminding myself that the marriage was over many years ago. so, yes, circumstances can make a difference in the way relationships end nad how people move on afterwards.
She's not alone and that may be more good for her than anything.

How's the bride doing?

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Des Plaines, IL

#37 Feb 28, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
She's not alone and that may be more good for her than anything.
How's the bride doing?
ok i guess... parents are trying to play the girls against each ohter, and that's not going well. the bride is the people pleaser and hte student is the take-no-crap one... oy. the girls did have a session with SIL's therapist, but i don't know that the girls got much out of it.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#38 Mar 1, 2013
There is no way I will ever remember this. I can try and try but it will have no affect upon me at all, or is it effect.

I vote we just pick on word and use it for both.
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
It's "affect" in this case. And here's how to remember them!
Affect (verb)= influence.
Effect (noun)= consequence, result. Also can mean personal property. Captain Jack Sparrow refers to his sword, hat, belt, and compass as his effects.
But wait!-- there is also a noun-affect and a verb-effect!
Affect (noun)=(psych) emotion, demeanor, particularly emotion as expressed or observed by others
Effect (verb)= bring about, cause to happen, accomplish
"Psychotropic drugs can effect a change in the patient's affect."

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