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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Apr 16, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a long-distance relationship with "Victor" for several years. Recently I began to suspect he was cheating. What raised my suspicion was that I suddenly couldn't reach him on the weekends. Usually we would Skype -- Sunday night for me, Monday morning for him.

Last February when I visited him, I snooped in his phone -- spare me the condemnation. I found an email he had written to an old girlfriend in which he suggested they plan their "next" rendezvous.

I plan on dumping him, but I don't know how to go about it. I've always been bad at dumping people. Should I write him a letter and confess that I snooped? My first inclination is to disconnect completely and say nothing.

I'm afraid to confront him because he is obviously a good liar. I'm afraid if I do, he'll make me doubt the evidence ... trust me, he's that good!-- CHEATED ON IN L.A.

DEAR CHEATED ON: Why any woman would stay with someone who is a practiced liar ("that good") is beyond me. My advice is to disconnect from him and say nothing. It should be interesting to see how long it takes him to notice your absence.

When he does -- which probably won't be on a weekend -- tell him the romance is over and reference the email he sent his former girlfriend. Expect him to go on the offensive and try to make you feel guilty for having checked his cellphone. Don't buy it, and don't relent. Just be glad you found out now.

DEAR ABBY: I don't know if you have addressed the issue of women and breast augmentation from the standpoint of noticing the work done, but I am trying to find a way to say "I noticed" without being crude or tacky.

My wife works with a woman who recently had augmentation surgery, and we agree that the doctor did a very nice job. According to my wife, the woman is not shy about discussing her surgery. I have known her for years, and we're on friendly terms. We talk often and exchange hugs.

How would I go about complimenting her on her new look? I don't want to say the wrong thing. Or should I just say nothing?-- ENJOYS THE VIEW IN PHOENIX

DEAR ENJOYS THE VIEW: All you need to say is, "You look great!" and she'll get the message. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: Every time I talk to anyone, my husband says I give too many details. While I understand that men are different from women, he often bugs me when I talk to female friends or my mother-in-law. I don't know what to do, because we women love to talk and share details. Please reassure me that I'm not an oddity.-- TALKIN' UP A STORM

DEAR TALKIN' UP A STORM: You're not an oddity, and your husband should not be eavesdropping on your conversations. He should be glad that you and his mother get along so well that you both enjoy sharing details, because it's a sign of a healthy relationship. However, because he can't resist "bugging" you, converse with your friends and his mother when you're out of earshot.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#2 Apr 16, 2014
LW1- How old are you that you refer to breaking up with your boyfriend as "dumping him"? How old is Abby that she suggests just not contacting your boyfriend of several years as a way of breaking up with him?

Just tell him that this relationship isn't working for you anymore and then you can stop corresponding with him.

LW2- you don't need to compliment a co-worker on her boob job, especially with a creepy "you look *great*". The only person who should be commenting on them is the person who sees her naked.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#3 Apr 16, 2014
LW3- do you give too many details in general or too much personal info when talking to your MIL? Make sure you are respecting your husband's privacy and boundaries.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#4 Apr 16, 2014
1- I'm never an advocate of the passive way. And I consider a letter to be passive. Man up and call him on the phone and tell him it just isn't working out.

And I wonder if Abby would "spare you the condemnation" if you were a man

2- MYOB. Why do you feel the need to say anything?

3- his mother doesn't need to know every sordid detail of your marriage

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#5 Apr 16, 2014
For LW2- when this letter is published on other sites, the great is italicized. Yuck.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Apr 16, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
LW1- How old are you that you refer to breaking up with your boyfriend as "dumping him"?
Since when is this an age dependent phrase? Did I miss a memo?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Apr 16, 2014
Lw2: say "Hey! I see someone got some upgrades! Lemme know next time you take the cover off so I can get a better look!"

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#8 Apr 16, 2014
1 Long distance relations dont work, just ask the mutt.

2 Nice Rack.

3 If your talking about your husband then leave out the details, also sometimes details are distracting.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#9 Apr 16, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
For LW2- when this letter is published on other sites, the great is italicized. Yuck.
???


The way I see it, women who share he fact that they are getting a boob job are wanting to hear positive reactions after the fact, otherwise they would just keep quiet about it.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#10 Apr 16, 2014
LW1: If you feel you are outmatched intellectually even though you saw an email that expressly said he was cheating on you, just tell him you donít want to see him anymore and leave it at that.

LW2: Why and the eff do you feel this immense need to tell some woman you noticed her breasts are smaller Ö a need that you are obviously fixated on to the point that you actually took the time to write an advice columnist about it? Maybe she shouldnít hug you anymore. Creep.

LW3: Iím not sure why your husband cares what you tell your gfs or your mil, unless the information concerns him, in which case you should respect your husbandís request that you arenít blabbing on and on about things he doesnít want shared.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 Apr 16, 2014
If you are in LA on Sunday night, on Monday morning he us, at a minimum , in Britain. Unless you g two has a face to face dating relationship and one of you moved you just correspond and talk to this guy, that's all., Let me introduce you to a pen pal who never wants to talk on the phone. He's right over here in the next column.

Rumor has it that there are lots of straight guys in LA, many of whom are awake on Sunday nights. Go for it.

L3. Don't complain to your MIL about the cost of your husband's little blue pills.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#12 Apr 16, 2014
L1: "Usually we would Skype -- Sunday night for me, Monday morning for him." So he lives on the opposite side of the earth from you. What was the point of this LDR anyway?

L2: "Your b00bs look huge. Did you have them done?" Barf. What S&O said.

L3: We need examples to determine who's right.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Apr 16, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
L3: We need examples to determine who's right.
pellen gave one

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#14 Apr 16, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>pellen gave one
I mean from the LW. To know what's actually being said.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#15 Apr 16, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Since when is this an age dependent phrase? Did I miss a memo?
I have never heard an adult say it that way, especially since it is being uttered by the "dumper". The last time I heard that phrase was in junior high.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#16 Apr 16, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>???


The way I see it, women who share he fact that they are getting a boob job are wanting to hear positive reactions after the fact, otherwise they would just keep quiet about it.
Some insecure women probably are. That doesn't mean the LW has to feed into that.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Apr 16, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
I mean from the LW. To know what's actually being said.
well hell, if he gave those examples, he'd be sharing too much too

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#18 Apr 16, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
Some insecure women probably are. That doesn't mean the LW has to feed into that.
Doesn't mean its wrong if he does.

I kinda see it as similar to a chick with a big belly. You don't wanna assume she's pregnant and comment on it. But once she says she's pregnant, go ahead and congratulate her.

If a chick just showd up with a huge rack that was not there last week, say nothing. But if she's proud of hem and looking for attention, I see no harm in giving her a little.

And if you act like you didn't notice, it will send her into a tailspin of depression causing her to go back to the dr and get even bigger ones. Which will then cause her extreme back problems and result in hospitalization for back spasms. So just help her out and tell her she has a nice rack.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#19 Apr 16, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Doesn't mean its wrong if he does.

I kinda see it as similar to a chick with a big belly. You don't wanna assume she's pregnant and comment on it. But once she says she's pregnant, go ahead and congratulate her.

If a chick just showd up with a huge rack that was not there last week, say nothing. But if she's proud of hem and looking for attention, I see no harm in giving her a little.

And if you act like you didn't notice, it will send her into a tailspin of depression causing her to go back to the dr and get even bigger ones. Which will then cause her extreme back problems and result in hospitalization for back spasms. So just help her out and tell her she has a nice rack.
Hahaha! Love your rationalization. He will need it when another coworker claims that he is creating a hostile work environment for commenting on a coworker's breasts.

Sometimes I'm glad that I'm no longer in Corporate America. I got called into HR one time because someone accused me of being racist. A group of us were having a conversation about NJ's driving restrictions and I brought up that the driver's written test can be taken in any language, including those using other alphabets. I wondered how drivers can read the signs if they can't understand the language enough to pass the test. I know who complained - she was normally the first one to make comments like that, but she also accused everyone of being racist and prejudiced against her (I didn't care what color she was, I couldn't stand her attitude and poor work ethic).

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#20 Apr 16, 2014
PEllen wrote:
If you are in LA on Sunday night, on Monday morning he us, at a minimum , in Britain.
There are four time zones in the US. If she's in LA, 10 o'clock Sunday night for her, would be 1am Monday morning for me

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