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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Dec 15, 2013
DEAR ABBY: Our 7-year-old grandson has been a handful since he was able to walk. He has been sneaky and has told lies for as long as any of us can remember. He has been suspended from school more than 10 times for various things. He stole several hundred dollars from his mom's purse and took it to school so he would have money to buy snacks. He stays awake longer than everyone else in the house so he can take things and hide them in his closet.

He knows what he does is wrong, but it doesn't bother him. He is also abusive to his disabled sister. It is hard to imagine that a 7-year-old could give hate-filled looks that you don't even see from adults. I'm afraid at the rate he is going, he will seriously hurt someone or be hurt himself.

He also has a very big heart. That is why we don't understand what is going wrong in this little boy's head. Please help if you can.-- GRANDMA OF A BULLY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR GRANDMA: Your grandson's behavior may have something to do with the fact his disabled sibling needs more of his parents' attention. Or he may have serious emotional problems. The boy needs to be evaluated by a mental health professional so his parents will understand what's driving his behavior, and it can be addressed. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and a few months ago I made the mistake of taking and sending nude photographs to my boyfriend. An adult co-worker, "Jim," got the photographs without my knowledge or permission and showed them to my other co-workers, including managers. Jim threatened to continue showing the pictures around unless I did him a "favor."

Out of distress, I quit my job, not realizing that managers had seen the photographs. I now know they were aware of the situation, but did nothing. How should I approach the situation? It would be very bad if my parents found out.-- FACING THE CONSEQUENCES IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FACING THE CONSEQUENCES: You now know why it's a bad idea to send nude pictures, because once they are out of your control, anything can be done with them. While this is embarrassing, you should absolutely tell your parents what happened because they may want to take this matter to their lawyer. Your former employers ignored sexual harassment, attempted coercion and blackmail. If it can be proven, they should pay the price for it.

DEAR ABBY: May I share a pet peeve of mine? I wish you'd raise the consciousness of people who write obituaries and fail to mention the musician who provides the music for the funerals and memorials. The musician often does more preparation for the services than the pallbearers. Why are their names omitted? I usually want to know who they are when I attend.-- WONDERING IN GEORGIA

DEAR WONDERING: I can think of a couple of reasons. The first is that some obituaries are actually taken from the eulogy, which may have been written prior to the death by someone in the family. If the obituary was written by an employee of a newspaper, the information may have been taken as part of a standard list of questions about the deceased and any survivors.

Frankly, I think it would be more suitable if the musician's name was included on the program. If it hasn't been included, there is nothing rude about telling the officiant or a family member how much you enjoyed the music and asking who provided it.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#2 Dec 15, 2013
LW1 - Therapy. Stat. A 7yo who has been suspended from school 10 times in - what? less than 3 years?- is seriously disturbed. I am surprised the school has not pushed for therapy earlier.

LW2 - Lesson learned, eh? You'll survive. Just don't do it again. Ever.

LW3 - An obituary column is not an advertising for musicians. If you want to know who they are when you attend, ask them.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#3 Dec 15, 2013
1- Um, yeah, why hasn't the school intervened? Oh, let me guess, it's those dam Republican spending cuts closing mental health facilities?

2- So these are the consequences for being a who re. Learn and move on.

3- A funeral musician? Who the fk cares about a funeral musician?? It's just some dude who pushes the play button on the cd player.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 Dec 15, 2013
Cass wrote:
LW1 - Therapy. Stat. A 7yo who has been suspended from school 10 times in - what? less than 3 years?- is seriously disturbed. I am surprised the school has not pushed for therapy earlier.
LW2 - Lesson learned, eh? You'll survive. Just don't do it again. Ever.
LW3 - An obituary column is not an advertising for musicians. If you want to know who they are when you attend, ask them.
1. Agree. I'll bet he also hurs pets and small animals- no jke. He needs help now or we will red about him in the

. paper.

Invoke Adam Lanza's mother for what happens when a parent sticks their head in the sand about mentally ill kids.

2. Agree. Stupid stupid stupid. In addition, drop teh boyfriend. Tell teh cops because what th co-worker did was extortion and blackmail.

I am not sure if it is sexual harassment against the employer if the bosses didn't know.

Here is another clue, if you are 17 now, the pictures are child pornography.

Clearly your boobs grew but your brain did not.

3. Agree. The musician's name goes in the program. An obituary is for family. Yu are not family.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#5 Dec 15, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
1. Agree. I'll bet he also hurs pets and small animals- no jke. He needs help now or we will red about him in the
. paper.
Invoke Adam Lanza's mother for what happens when a parent sticks their head in the sand about mentally ill kids.
2. Agree. Stupid stupid stupid. In addition, drop teh boyfriend. Tell teh cops because what th co-worker did was extortion and blackmail.
I am not sure if it is sexual harassment against the employer if the bosses didn't know.
Here is another clue, if you are 17 now, the pictures are child pornography.
Clearly your boobs grew but your brain did not.
3. Agree. The musician's name goes in the program. An obituary is for family. Yu are not family.
1. Exactly what I was thinking. Please, please, please get this child into therapy now before he does some real harm.

2. LW already knows how stupid (or na´ve) she was. She's already suffered great embarrassment and the loss of her job. But Jim is pure evil and guilty of sexual harassment and distribution of child pornography. We have laws to prevent this type of behavior. LW should see a lawyer ASAP.

3. Yes, the musician should be recognized in the program.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#6 Dec 15, 2013
1: I keep saying this, but it's something of interest to me: 1/25 people are sociopaths. Most don't kill but this kid already has several markers. Trouble is, there is NO cure. He can manipulate ("the big heart") but what he's doing is scary. He can learn to fake the right reactions, but he will have a tough life...too bad we don't have sanitariums anymore.
Not all repubs are against mental health, people. The crazies are now growing up, getting married, then killing their kids. I'd rather they be locked away, but not abused like days past.
It's a gov't thing, not a party thing. I'm convinced they all want our country to destroy itself from the inside; otherwise we'd change things.

2: And what about bf?? How did co-worker get them if not from him?
Your bosses knew and did nothing--to me that's a favor. They did not berate you, threaten to fire you, or harrass you or embarrass you. They were willing to ignore your stupidity.
I have no sympathy.

3: We played CD's...

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#7 Dec 15, 2013
It's not "child pornography," she's SEVENTEEN. Seventeen is legal age of consent in states that don't allow younger. She took and distributed the photos herself. If anyone should be charged with "distribution of child pornography," it's the LW. No crimes have been committed here. It's just a lesson learned.

Go Bears!
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#8 Dec 15, 2013
LW1 has a son who needs to see a psychiatrist. period.

LW2 doesn't state whether she did good work before this incident--and
may as well ask what kind of refernces she'll get next time she applies
to a potential employer. She was naive--but didn't give her state a bad name.

LW3 is giving Georgia musicians a bad name. Does he/she want free advertising or something?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#9 Dec 15, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
It's not "child pornography," she's SEVENTEEN. Seventeen is legal age of consent in states that don't allow younger. She took and distributed the photos herself. If anyone should be charged with "distribution of child pornography," it's the LW. No crimes have been committed here. It's just a lesson learned.
Go Bears!
Surely you read or watch enough po*rn to know that 18 is the bright lie for being legal. The pictures are transmitted over federal regulated airwaves, cell tower signals or cables.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Dec 15, 2013
LW1: What abby said

LW2: Sure, talk to a lawyer. You're probably up a creek though. If I understand correctly, for sexual harassment claims against your employer, you are required to report it to management in order to make them aware of the situation and give them the opportunity to take corrective measures. You did not. You just quit. With that being the case what evidence do you have of this indecent proposal or that management was aware?

LW3: No one else gives a shit. Are you kidding me? Someone dies and you want credit for playing the organ while he's getting lowered into the dirt? I could not tell you what was played a the last funeral I was at, nor can I even really if it was live or recorded. Have some perspective.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#12 Dec 16, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
2: And what about bf?? How did co-worker get them if not from him?..
Maybe he got then from the boyfriend. But Jim was her coworker and she said she took and sent the pictures. I find it more likely that she left her phone unattended long enough for him to find them. Maybe he forwarded them to himself or maybe he just showed others her phone.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#13 Dec 16, 2013
itser wrote:
. I find it more likely that she left her phone unattended long enough for him to find them. Maybe he forwarded them to himself or maybe he just showed others her phone.
Possible, but unlikely. That's assuming a lot. That's assuming she left her phone unattended in the breakroom, assuming it's not password protected. Assuming the co worker found it and went through it. And she made no mention of him showing the pictures with HER phone. Nah, it's more likely her bf sent them around.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#14 Dec 16, 2013
Occam's Razor...

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#15 Dec 16, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
Occam's Razor...
Not that you need reminding, but you look beautiful this evening.

"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

I forget who said that originally but Spock said that in Star Trek 6.

Reminds me of the Kennedy assassination. A different bullet was used in the head shot than in the neck shot. Was is it a great government conspiracy about Russians and a gunman in the grassy knoll? Or was it a startled Secret Service agent in the follow car who grabbed his rifle after hearing the shots and unintentionally fired a bullet into the president's head? ANYTHING is possible, but, what's most likely?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#16 Dec 16, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
Occam's Razor...
....is often the K.I.S.S. of death

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Dec 16, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Possible, but unlikely. That's assuming a lot. That's assuming she left her phone unattended in the breakroom, assuming it's not password protected. Assuming the co worker found it and went through it. And she made no mention of him showing the pictures with HER phone. Nah, it's more likely her bf sent them around.
there are many people who don't password protect their phone. Many people care more about convenience than security, so that's more than believable. And it would not need to be unattended in the breakroom. I already forgot what she does for a living, but if its an office job, its pretty normal to plug your phone into the USB jack on your computer to charge it at your desk while you are working. I don't take my phone with me every single time I get up. My phone has a password, but if it didn't, it would be easy for anyone to stop at my desk and snoop while I'm in the bathroom.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#18 Dec 16, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>there are many people who don't password protect their phone. Many people care more about convenience than security, so that's more than believable. And it would not need to be unattended in the breakroom. I already forgot what she does for a living, but if its an office job, its pretty normal to plug your phone into the USB jack on your computer to charge it at your desk while you are working. I don't take my phone with me every single time I get up. My phone has a password, but if it didn't, it would be easy for anyone to stop at my desk and snoop while I'm in the bathroom.
She's 17. She either works at some restaurant, or a gas station. And you're forgetting how teenagers are about their phones. You can't compare the phone habits of a 40 yr old corporate office worker to a teenager working at Cracker Barrel.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#19 Dec 16, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
She's 17. She either works at some restaurant, or a gas station. And you're forgetting how teenagers are about their phones. You can't compare the phone habits of a 40 yr old corporate office worker to a teenager working at Cracker Barrel.
Yeah. Re-read it. Probably right. But ease up on the "40 yr old habits". I got people in their 20's in my office and they have the same habits. Its more about the office environment than age

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#20 Dec 17, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Possible, but unlikely. That's assuming a lot. That's assuming she left her phone unattended in the breakroom, assuming it's not password protected. Assuming the co worker found it and went through it. And she made no mention of him showing the pictures with HER phone. Nah, it's more likely her bf sent them around.
obviously you spend far more time studying the habits of 17 year old girls than I do. However, I was thinking of my niece who works at target. They aren't allowed to carry their phones on them so she (and most of her f friends there) leaves her phone in a locker in the break room. It has a lock on it but most of them don't lock it so that they can run in and check for messages quickly. Lockers are assigned and there are cameras covering them so they aren't worried about theft. But they should be worried about creepy old men.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#21 Dec 17, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
1: I keep saying this, but it's something of interest to me: 1/25 people are sociopaths. Most don't kill but this kid already has several markers. Trouble is, there is NO cure. He can manipulate ("the big heart") but what he's doing is scary. He can learn to fake the right reactions, but he will have a tough life...too bad we don't have sanitariums anymore.
...
I agree wholeheartedly. And most people don't recognize/acknowledge that there are and have been child serial killers. SERIAL killers. Teens and younger (think Mary Bell). It DOES happen. Sounds like the kid in the letter is a prime candidate.

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