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Julie

Chicago, IL

#42 Feb 8, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW1: You sound like a cranky old man who does not want to change he ways to accomodate a baby, even for a few days. You clearly don't like the parents' chosen profession...But please remember that your grandchild is JUST A BABY!...Oh, and if you get caught slapping his hand, I suspect you will lose visiting rights. With all the other parental behavior you've described, that would be a deal-breaker. Just sayin'.
Squishy for the WIN!
Sam I Am

Chicago, IL

#43 Feb 8, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
3: This just flat pisses me off. No adult person needs to have permission asked of their parent. This is a patriarchal tradition from the time when women (even grown-ass adult women in middle age) were considered to be the property (by law) of their father.
Why the hell would someone want to give credence to this kind of ridiculous thing and allow it to continue to be perpetrated? Free at last, free at last thank god almighty we are free at last...free at last.
I actually think it is a nice tradition, especially since it is just ceremonial and has no substantive meaning. It is more a show of respect by the groom-to-be. It is an extension of the father walking the bride down the aisle and the minister asking "Who gives this woman...?" I happen to like that stuff. Goes with men opening doors and taking the curb, etc. If a man is gracious enough to do it and there is no submission implied, what it the harm?
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#44 Feb 8, 2013
Sam I Am wrote:
<quoted text>
I actually think it is a nice tradition, especially since it is just ceremonial and has no substantive meaning. It is more a show of respect by the groom-to-be. It is an extension of the father walking the bride down the aisle and the minister asking "Who gives this woman...?" I happen to like that stuff. Goes with men opening doors and taking the curb, etc. If a man is gracious enough to do it and there is no submission implied, what it the harm?
Flip that. It is absurd to think of a woman asking a potential future MIL if she can have her son's hand in marriage.

Based on 1st hand experience, vetting the MIL is almost as importnat as picking teh mate. How a guy talks about, respects and treats his motehr is an excellent predictor of how he will treat you in teh long run. Other things can be deal breakers, but that one is a good thing to look at.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#45 Feb 8, 2013
Sam I Am wrote:
<quoted text>
I actually think it is a nice tradition, especially since it is just ceremonial and has no substantive meaning. It is more a show of respect by the groom-to-be. It is an extension of the father walking the bride down the aisle and the minister asking "Who gives this woman...?" I happen to like that stuff. Goes with men opening doors and taking the curb, etc. If a man is gracious enough to do it and there is no submission implied, what it the harm?
Mostly what PEllen said. The harm that I see is that it reinforces (even if only on a subconscious level) the idea of women as property. "who gives this woman?" No one because no one owns her. I mean if you like it, ok, not gonna try and tell you (or anyone) not to go for it.*I* object to it as a concept, and definitely for me.

Opening doors, etc.? That's just manners. Yeah it's all cool when a guy does that, and I let them, but because I'm not threatened if some man does that for me, in a date/romantic situation or just a stranger at the bank. Then again, I do it for other people, men and women all the time just because I think it's polite.

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