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Since: May 13

Marina, CA

#62 Jul 10, 2013
RACE wrote:
What about online dating? The first date is supposed to be a meet and greet thing. I dont mind paying for a couple of drinks and an appetizer, but I think its crazy to expect me to pay for a full meal and a bottle of wine for a woman that I may or not want to see again.
Thats why in those instances it's always a lunch date. I aint blowing $100 on anybody I only just met.
I agree. The first date in the online dating world is not a real date, it is a meeting. The experts say you should meet for coffee for no more than one hour. You'd pay maybe $5 for two large coffees if you chose to treat. My friend and I were talking about this the other day. She met a guy from an online dating site who wasn't willing to spring for coffee. It made a very poor impression on her.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#64 Jul 10, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Glad to see you again, Pip. But I just disagree with this. I think it's more about chivalry and not sex.
That was the original intention and it still works that way for many men. I'm glad you appear to be one of these chivalrous guys. I used to take a disabled man out for various outings - swimming, a meal, group recreational activities and so forth as part of a job I had. His dad used to insist that the young man pay for my meal and so forth. I said no as I did get reimbursed for both his and my expenses by the agency I worked for. But his dad of course was thinking that the man is supposed to pay for outings. He was an example of what you're referring to.

However, you wouldn't believe the number of times my friends and I got the argument that since our dates had paid for the expenses of the date, we should give in and have sex with them. They EXPECTED it as their due and were very disgruntled when we refused. I know some girls who gave in because they were too timid to put up an argument. This "guy pays" thing was also used as an excuse as to why men should get higher wages than women for the same work. I recall hearing some guy on the radio (early 70's when I was pregnant with my second child) expounding on the topic.

I had an additional VERY long comment on the topic but deleted it. No sense in belaboring the issue. ;-)

Since: May 13

Marina, CA

#65 Jul 10, 2013
Pippa wrote:
<quoted text>
That was the original intention and it still works that way for many men. I'm glad you appear to be one of these chivalrous guys. I used to take a disabled man out for various outings - swimming, a meal, group recreational activities and so forth as part of a job I had. His dad used to insist that the young man pay for my meal and so forth. I said no as I did get reimbursed for both his and my expenses by the agency I worked for. But his dad of course was thinking that the man is supposed to pay for outings. He was an example of what you're referring to.
However, you wouldn't believe the number of times my friends and I got the argument that since our dates had paid for the expenses of the date, we should give in and have sex with them. They EXPECTED it as their due and were very disgruntled when we refused. I know some girls who gave in because they were too timid to put up an argument. This "guy pays" thing was also used as an excuse as to why men should get higher wages than women for the same work. I recall hearing some guy on the radio (early 70's when I was pregnant with my second child) expounding on the topic.
I had an additional VERY long comment on the topic but deleted it. No sense in belaboring the issue. ;-)
On the couple of occasions that I have gone out with a man who EXPECTED sex after paying for dinner, I reached into my purse, extracted the amount of money that I would have paid for the dinner, and handed it to him. You don't EXPECT sex from a woman; you receive it if she desires it. And she is more likely to desire it if you treat her well and don't act like she owes it to you. Duh.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#66 Jul 10, 2013
RACE wrote:
I had no idea madonna did a cover of it.
Guess I am showing my age again.
<quoted text>
She didn't do a cover of it. She just happens to have a song that is also called Cherish. It's an up beat song from the 80s. Were you old then, too??:P

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#67 Jul 10, 2013
Pippa wrote:
I'm glad you appear to be one of these chivalrous guys.
Oh, everyone here will agree I am the epitome of chivalry. It oozes from my pores along with my sheer awesomeness.

My shadow has made the "best dressed" list.
I am the life of parties I have never attended.
When I hold a women's purse, I look intimidating.
My tailgate parties have been known to delay games.
At museums, I am allowed to touch the art.

I'm not sure that the tradition of men "getting some" is why men pay for at least the first date. We can debate all day where that came from, but I think it has more to do with men being viewed as the "provider, hunter/gatherer," and the "courting ritual" rather than about sex.

I think the reality is that the men who expect sex just because they pay for dinner are the rare exception and by no means the rule.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#68 Jul 10, 2013
I was old when they discovered round.
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
She didn't do a cover of it. She just happens to have a song that is also called Cherish. It's an up beat song from the 80s. Were you old then, too??:P
Julie

Chicago, IL

#69 Jul 10, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
I will say GTFU and join the 21st century.
He needs to join the 17th century first...

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#70 Jul 10, 2013
Julie wrote:
<quoted text>
He needs to join the 17th century first...
Word.

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