“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#81 Jun 13, 2013
So, unless there is violence and bruises it's not rape. Got it.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#82 Jun 13, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
Lots of information missing, but I'll bite. I got called for jury duty this week but missed my opportunity to serve. But let's assume that I am on a jury and it's a rape trial. It is my and 11 other people's responsibility to decide this case beyond a REASONABLE doubt. So bring on the evidence. If there's drinking involved and either or both of the parties has trouble recalling the details of what happened, then my vote is leaning heavily toward Not Guilty. However, if there are pictures of big black bruises on the woman's wrist and ankles, a doctor's report of internal abrasions and bleeding, and the defendant's DNA in the woman, I'm leaning toward Guilty. What she was wearing is completely irrelevant. And IMHO, a man should know if a woman is willing or not. If he is at all unsure, he can ASK.
I only gave that scenario because that's how I awoke last Saturday. I think Matilda might have had something to do with it, but anyway....

So according to you, if there are no bruises, there was no rape?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#83 Jun 13, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
I imagine that there would be internal injuries caused by sex with a passed out or incoherent woman. And if a woman pleads for a man to stop at any point, he would be wise to stop.
Not necessarily.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#84 Jun 13, 2013
PEllen wrote:
Let me approach the question from a different angle.
What do you think a woman hoping to convey or achieve by wearing tight, see-through or skimpy clothing?
Why choose that outfit as opposed to something from say, Talbott's or Ann Taylor ( guys- conservative, opaque etc)?
Because some people grow up thinking that is dressing "nice". If that's what you see around you and haven't been taught otherwise, that's what you believe. Not everyone dresses that way b/c they think it's sexy.

I know -- it's hard to believe. But it's true b/c there are woman here who have never learned how to dress. They just don't know. They are not trying to catch some guy. They just don't know.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#85 Jun 13, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
Normal men do not force themselves on women.
Some people engage in S&M willingly.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#86 Jun 13, 2013
Was it jmw we have to keep entertained or Matilda?

I can't remember.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#87 Jun 13, 2013
Toj wrote:
Was it jmw we have to keep entertained or Matilda?
I can't remember.
Me! I think this webinar gets interactive later, but for now.... snore!

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#88 Jun 13, 2013
I think most women dress for other women more so than for men.

Most men don't really care at all and dress for themselves.

That doesn't mean everyone does that, though.

(Figured I'd keep it going for jmw!)

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#89 Jun 13, 2013
Toj wrote:
I think most women dress for other women more so than for men.
Most men don't really care at all and dress for themselves.
That doesn't mean everyone does that, though.
(Figured I'd keep it going for jmw!)
Haha, thanks! And I agree, to an extent. Once you're in a comfort zone with a guy, you're more concerned about what other girls think of your outfit.

As D says, it's not like you don't know who you're going home with.
;)

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#90 Jun 13, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>Haha, thanks! And I agree, to an extent. Once you're in a comfort zone with a guy, you're more concerned about what other girls think of your outfit.

As D says, it's not like you don't know who you're going home with.
;)
If I dressed to make my husband happy, I would be wearing tight, low cut tank tops every day. He has no sense of style, just knows what he likes.

I dress for comfort. In the summer, it may be more comfortable to wear skimpier clothes (that end up being more revealing) because of the heat and humidity. Looser, fuller clothing sticks to you when it is very humid and makes you feel even hotter.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#91 Jun 13, 2013
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
If I dressed to make my husband happy, I would be wearing tight, low cut tank tops every day. He has no sense of style, just knows what he likes.
I dress for comfort. In the summer, it may be more comfortable to wear skimpier clothes (that end up being more revealing) because of the heat and humidity. Looser, fuller clothing sticks to you when it is very humid and makes you feel even hotter.
Can I just say how I love that they've been putting spandex and elastine in just about everything these days? 2% to 3% spandex in a pair of jeans makes all the difference of wearability.

And the cotton/spandex capris and crop pants (along with the Bermuda shorts)-- love them!

(So I'm not particular fond of my pasty white, crinkly thighs)

And blouses! As long as I can get a cotton button down shirt (which I really like the look of the crispness), I can now not worry about the buttons right at the boob line popping.

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

#92 Jun 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I only gave that scenario because that's how I awoke last Saturday. I think Matilda might have had something to do with it, but anyway....
So according to you, if there are no bruises, there was no rape?
No, what I said was if it was rape, which by definition is forced sex, there will be some physical evidence of force. FOR EXAMPLE, bruises, internal abrasions, etc. I went on to say that if I am on a jury and I need to decide a man's fate in a rape trial, I will need to see some evidence of force, FOR EXAMPLE, bruises, internal abrasions, blood.

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

#93 Jun 13, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Some people engage in S&M willingly.
That's their choice. Do you think the women who do that are going to accuse their partners of rape?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#94 Jun 13, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
No, what I said was if it was rape, which by definition is forced sex, there will be some physical evidence of force. FOR EXAMPLE, bruises, internal abrasions, etc. I went on to say that if I am on a jury and I need to decide a man's fate in a rape trial, I will need to see some evidence of force, FOR EXAMPLE, bruises, internal abrasions, blood.
What if she was FORCED by having a gun to her head? Would that leave a bruise? You're still maintaining that no bruises, no rape.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#95 Jun 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>What if she was FORCED by having a gun to her head? Would that leave a bruise? You're still maintaining that no bruises, no rape.
Yeah, that would leave internal bruising.

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

#96 Jun 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
What if she was FORCED by having a gun to her head? Would that leave a bruise? You're still maintaining that no bruises, no rape.
Let me explain a couple of things to you about female sexual response. If a woman is receptive, certain physical changes occur that allow her to accomodate the male organ. One is that her sphincter muscle relaxes. The other is that she produces lubrication. If the woman is NOT receptive, neither of these physical changes occur. In fact, if a woman is about to be raped, she is frightened and her muscles tighten. In short, forced sex is going to hurt and cause some internal injuries.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#97 Jun 13, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
Let me explain a couple of things to you about female sexual response. If a woman is receptive, certain physical changes occur that allow her to accomodate the male organ. One is that her sphincter muscle relaxes. The other is that she produces lubrication. If the woman is NOT receptive, neither of these physical changes occur. In fact, if a woman is about to be raped, she is frightened and her muscles tighten. In short, forced sex is going to hurt and cause some internal injuries.
Thanks for the sex ed lesson, Dr. Ruth. Internal injuries may or may NOT occur during a rape. Internal injuries may or may NOT occur during consensual sex. I'm even gonna go as far to say if you don't leave SOME kind of mark during even consensual sex, you're not doing it right.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#98 Jun 13, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
Let me explain a couple of things to you about female sexual response. If a woman is receptive, certain physical changes occur that allow her to accomodate the male organ. One is that her sphincter muscle relaxes. The other is that she produces lubrication. If the woman is NOT receptive, neither of these physical changes occur. In fact, if a woman is about to be raped, she is frightened and her muscles tighten. In short, forced sex is going to hurt and cause some internal injuries.
Not if you've been drugged or are drunk. Also, I can't believe you are using almost the same argument as Akin did about "legitimate rappe". He said it in the context that you can't get pregnant if you've been rapped.
Situations and people vary.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#99 Jun 13, 2013
That's interesting. I had to put an extra "p" on that word about forced sex. Stupid topix said I was using profanity. Stupid bot.

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

#100 Jun 13, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Not if you've been drugged or are drunk. Also, I can't believe you are using almost the same argument as Akin did about "legitimate rappe". He said it in the context that you can't get pregnant if you've been rapped.
Situations and people vary.
I have never read that quote and I did not borrow from it. And I can't speak to what happens when a woman is drugged or drunk. The only thing that I've read recently about the subject was in my local paper and it concerned a military woman who was drugged and raped. There was a discussion about how the military retaliated against her and others and how women in the military are afraid to report rapes from fear of retaliation.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 14 min shinningelectr0n 1,126,999
Mrs. Bush: History will vindicate her husband (Jun '08) 24 min Anonymous91 54,522
Drop a letter lose 10 words ! 27 min Anonymous97 30
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 48 min Frank 179,420
Dr john 0782857120 abortion clinic in jane furs... 57 min Dr john 1
Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil U... (Dec '10) 2 hr KiMerde 50,640
Israeli troops begin Gaza pullout as Hamas decl... (Jan '09) 3 hr TRD 68,665
Abby 10-24 7 hr edogxxx 23
Chicago Dating
Find my Match

Chicago Jobs

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]