“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#21 Oct 19, 2012
LW1: All of you need to go to therapy, together.

LW2: OK, it's a poodle. The only way I see this happening is if it's a standard poodle than could just walk right up to the table. A toy poodle would have to be in someone's lap to get at a plate.

Next time,*you* say something to the dog. You are allowed to, yanno.

LW3: I had the most fun learning how to shuffle cards. Can't really cheat when they are mixed up so well.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#22 Oct 19, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I will have to differ with you. I can't imagine any good parent getting involved with someone in 5 months to the extent this man did.
Hold on. Lets back up a bit. I think its safe to assume that this pregnancy was an accident. SO are you saying he's a bad parent for having sex with this woman inside of 5 months? Please clarify what you mean by "getting involved with someone in 5 months to the extent this man did.".

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#23 Oct 19, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Are you trying to start a fight? On a Friday?
;)
It's Hate Week, baby! I'm ready for a fight, and the Miami Hurricanes ain't gonna give me one.

Attendance is so bad, that they are selling "Honorary Canes" student tickets for $9 this year.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#24 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>It's Hate Week, baby! I'm ready for a fight, and the Miami Hurricanes ain't gonna give me one.
Attendance is so bad, that they are selling "Honorary Canes" student tickets for $9 this year.
Ooh, ouch. They started off somewhat promising, but have fallen apart. Kind of like your Noles.
;)

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#25 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Hold on. Lets back up a bit. I think its safe to assume that this pregnancy was an accident. SO are you saying he's a bad parent for having sex with this woman inside of 5 months? Please clarify what you mean by "getting involved with someone in 5 months to the extent this man did.".
I mean to the extent that she's pregnant in 5 months and they are planning to live together when she has a 9 year old and not realizing this would affect a 9 year old. I'm saying a good parent would have gone slowly in such a relationship.

I think a good parent would be double sure to use protection against pregnancy in a new relationship when he has kids and she has a young child. Double-up or whatever you have to do to ensure, to the best of your ability. If birth control failed, I would think that would be mentioned, although that's my projection b/c it doesn't say.

That's would a good parent would do/be.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#26 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Hold on. Lets back up a bit. I think its safe to assume that this pregnancy was an accident. SO are you saying he's a bad parent for having sex with this woman inside of 5 months? Please clarify what you mean by "getting involved with someone in 5 months to the extent this man did.".
I dunno if it's such an accident. I would hope it was, but I dunno. Some people use the method of getting pregnant to get the guy. In those situations, both are responsible b/c the guy should use protection as well as the women should use protection.

I think they are stupid and at the very least inept parents. I'll stick to the bad parent thing, though. Won't agree to anything lower than inept, however.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#27 Oct 19, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
And he's already raised (past tense) two other children. What do you want to bet it's an older man, with twenty-something children shacking up with a younger woman?
Relevance? I agree that maybe they're moving a little fast, but that doesn't excuse the child's behavior. I agree with sub, she shouldn't get to dictate what the adults can do. She has behavior issues and needs therapy.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#28 Oct 19, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: I donít believe in allowing children to think they are the boss and misbehave just because they donít like something. I think the mother should sit her down and tell her, sheís not the boss and sheís expected to behave, and if she does there will be rewards and if she doesnít there will be consequences. Then, most importantly, enforce it.
LW2: When it is your food that the dog is approaching, why donít you correct the dog sooner? Quit being so timid.
While I generally agree with you about kids being the boss, this kid got a sh*t deal from a mother that doesn't give a flying fig about her. Having a boyfriend is fine. Getting knocked up and uprooting your daughter before she's even had a fair chance to get to know him, accept him and just plain ADJUST is horrible and selfish parenting. This baby daddy and selfish mom are going to reap the rewards of their lousy behavior. They never gave that poor 9 yo a fair shot.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#29 Oct 19, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I mean to the extent that she's pregnant in 5 months and they are planning to live together when she has a 9 year old and not realizing this would affect a 9 year old. I'm saying a good parent would have gone slowly in such a relationship.
I think a good parent would be double sure to use protection against pregnancy in a new relationship when he has kids and she has a young child. Double-up or whatever you have to do to ensure, to the best of your ability. If birth control failed, I would think that would be mentioned, although that's my projection b/c it doesn't say.
That's would a good parent would do/be.
This

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#30 Oct 19, 2012
Toj wrote:
If birth control failed, I would think that would be mentioned
Why? The circumstances that led to his current situation have no bearing on the situation moving forward. Whether they planned it, his condom broke, she forgot to take her pill, whatever, there's a baby on the way and that is the issue he needs abby's help with.

Additionally, even if he was sexually irresponsible, I don't see how that automatically makes him a bad father. By your logic, everyone that ever became a dad "by accident" was a poor father. That's just not the case. What happens when a child arrives is what his parenting skills should be judged on.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Itasca, IL

#31 Oct 19, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I mean to the extent that she's pregnant in 5 months and they are planning to live together when she has a 9 year old and not realizing this would affect a 9 year old. I'm saying a good parent would have gone slowly in such a relationship.
I think a good parent would be double sure to use protection against pregnancy in a new relationship when he has kids and she has a young child. Double-up or whatever you have to do to ensure, to the best of your ability. If birth control failed, I would think that would be mentioned, although that's my projection b/c it doesn't say.
That's would a good parent would do/be.
i know of a widowed fatehr of 9 who knocked up the pediatrician before they got married... you'd think a DOCTOR would have a better idea on how to prevent pregnancy. now there's abuot 14 his/hers/ours, and the did marry before Ours #1 arrived.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#32 Oct 19, 2012
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
While I generally agree with you about kids being the boss, this kid got a sh*t deal from a mother that doesn't give a flying fig about her. Having a boyfriend is fine. Getting knocked up and uprooting your daughter before she's even had a fair chance to get to know him, accept him and just plain ADJUST is horrible and selfish parenting. This baby daddy and selfish mom are going to reap the rewards of their lousy behavior. They never gave that poor 9 yo a fair shot.
It's called life, Stina. Shyte happens. I doubt they planned to have a child.

Given that she's prego and what is done is done, what would be worse example, him stepping up to the plate, being responsible and trying to become a family and raise this baby together or him deciding not to live as a family with mother of his child and his own child?

I think you all are jumping to a bunch of conclusions that are completely unfounded. All we know is she got prego.

She's obviously not the type of woman who sleep around otherwise the little brat would have been used to having a revolving door of men in her life. The mother also sounds like she is concerned enough to have her see a shrink.

For as big of flaming liberals as most of you all are on here (not you in particular) and as willing as you are to ignore and make excuses for any and all types of behavior, I'm surprised you all are coming down so hard on a couple, who had an accident and faced with that are trying to do the responsible thing.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#33 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Why? The circumstances that led to his current situation have no bearing on the situation moving forward. Whether they planned it, his condom broke, she forgot to take her pill, whatever, there's a baby on the way and that is the issue he needs abby's help with.
Additionally, even if he was sexually irresponsible, I don't see how that automatically makes him a bad father. By your logic, everyone that ever became a dad "by accident" was a poor father. That's just not the case. What happens when a child arrives is what his parenting skills should be judged on.
No, by my logic it does not make everyone that ever became a dad "by accident" a poor father. There is a set of circumstances here. 5 month relationship with the mother with a baby arriving, 9 year old girl and he wants them to move and uproot them. Who wants to bring a child up in that environment? Man has kids, too. I don't want to just single out the father, here. I'm putting mom right in the bad parent mix with him.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#34 Oct 19, 2012
Sub this isn't a political thing. Stina's not a liberal (I don't think). So dividing it up by political views is dumb and lazy. Just like when you determined that a republican who made dumb decisions really is just a liberal. Because republican politicians must be above reproach, apparently.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#35 Oct 19, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Sub this isn't a political thing. Stina's not a liberal (I don't think). So dividing it up by political views is dumb and lazy. Just like when you determined that a republican who made dumb decisions really is just a liberal. Because republican politicians must be above reproach, apparently.
LOL - I think I rate as a bigger republican than he did on that test we all took!

If the guy wants to really step up, then he and the mom should get married and not just shack up. I don't think the Mom slept around, but she never even bothered to give her daughter a chance to adjust to a new man in their lives and then *BAM* her whole life is completely changed. I don't think that's fair and I don't think it's fair that she's being blamed for not being able to deal with it. I AM glad they are getting her counselling. But I would be surprised if she ever comes to accept this baby daddy now after all this.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#36 Oct 19, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Sub this isn't a political thing. Stina's not a liberal (I don't think). So dividing it up by political views is dumb and lazy. Just like when you determined that a republican who made dumb decisions really is just a liberal. Because republican politicians must be above reproach, apparently.
And, FWIW, I consider myself pretty middle of the road - Republican, yes, but middle of the road.:D

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#37 Oct 19, 2012
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
And, FWIW, I consider myself pretty middle of the road - Republican, yes, but middle of the road.:D
So you didn't know about the litmus test -- if you disagree with Sub you're an automatic liberal? ;)

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#38 Oct 19, 2012
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
LOL - I think I rate as a bigger republican than he did on that test we all took!
If the guy wants to really step up, then he and the mom should get married and not just shack up. I don't think the Mom slept around, but she never even bothered to give her daughter a chance to adjust to a new man in their lives and then *BAM* her whole life is completely changed. I don't think that's fair and I don't think it's fair that she's being blamed for not being able to deal with it. I AM glad they are getting her counselling. But I would be surprised if she ever comes to accept this baby daddy now after all this.
I said that statement wasn't directed at you!

:)

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#39 Oct 19, 2012
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>If the guy wants to really step up, then he and the mom should get married and not just shack up.
I'm sure if you asked them they would say that living together is a stepping stone to getting married. That they have chosen a different route than a shotgun wedding, which you prefer, doesn't make them awful people.
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>I don't think the Mom slept around, but she never even bothered to give her daughter a chance to adjust to a new man in their lives and then *BAM* her whole life is completely changed. I don't think that's fair and I don't think it's fair that she's being blamed for not being able to deal with it. I AM glad they are getting her counselling. But I would be surprised if she ever comes to accept this baby daddy now after all this.
Guess what, Stina ... life's not fair! I can't tell you how many times my parents said that to me growing up. Guess what, they were right.

Little princess would be better off to recognize this basic fact of life, sooner rather than later.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#40 Oct 19, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
So you didn't know about the litmus test -- if you disagree with Sub you're an automatic liberal? ;)
I'm not surprised that you off all people would overlook the fact that I expressly said my statement was not directed at her.

rif.org

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