Ralph Jr

Highland Park, IL

#1 Oct 21, 2012
Dear Amy: Later this month I am facing major surgery on my heart and other things. As with any operation, there is risk involved, and I realize I might die.

My oldest sister and I don't get along. I am not rich enough for her to care about. I have tried to make peace with her to no avail. Now, because my time might be up, I have written what kind of funeral I want, and I don't want her or her family to attend.

I know my funeral would not meet her expectations, as it will be a "green" funeral. I don't want a fancy casket, just a wooden box to be buried in. My main question is, how do I tell her not to come to my funeral? How can I keep her daughters and sons-in-law away from it, also?

John

Dear John: If this operation has you pondering your funeral, shouldn't it also be the occasion to make choices about your life? I won't insult you by urging you to reconcile with your sister, though I do urge you to forgive her.

If you definitely want to refuse entrance to some family members at your funeral, the best way is to note your wishes in writing and give a copy of this to the person you most trust to represent your wishes after your death.

Many people have "private" funerals, which are basically invitation-only events that are not announced in any public place, such as a newspaper. The people planning this should be aware of your wishes, and they should notify the director of the funeral home or "green" burial site of the guest restriction.

Dear Amy: My neighbor's kids play baseball in their backyard, which results in many balls hit into my yard (essentially center field). They use aluminum bats and tennis balls. They march right into my yard and retrieve the balls.

In the past this was no problem. However, now they're older (almost teenagers) and they hit every other ball into my yard. I feel invaded and resent it. I want to go over and tell the father that I'm fed up and to tell him to tell his kids to knock it off. My wife disagrees. She feels I'm being a grumpy old man and doesn't want me to confront my neighbor.

I never know when I'm going to look up and see my neighbor's kids in my backyard. Should I confront my neighbor and request that his kids no longer play baseball? I thought that keeping some of the balls might send a message, but it seems they need some parental supervision.

Grumpy Old Man

Dear Grumpy: If these kids are almost teenagers, they will not be receiving parental supervision.

You should go with the "Grumpy Old Man" thing. Tell the kids directly that you're tired of seeing them in your yard all the time and tell their father it's time to either install a net or to reorient center field toward their house instead of yours. Be honest and say, "Frankly, this is starting to drive me crazy." If your neighbors don't understand your reasoning, they're not trying hard enough, though it might take some time for them to adjust.

Playing whiffle ball would eliminate this problem.

Dear Amy: The letter from "Not Invisible" interested me. Like the woman who wrote this letter, I am finding that with age, I, too, am developing this superpower. At 68, sometimes I feel invisible too. My biggest gripe is that younger folks seem to think I lost my brains along with my youth (and waistline). It's exhausting to try to prove otherwise.

Also Not Invisible

Dear Also: As our demographic changes shape, we can hope that these attitudes also will change.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Oct 21, 2012
1- What the hell is a green funeral? Dam hippies. Anyway, you'll be dead, what do you really care?

2- Put up a fence. Get some dobermans.

3- What the hell do these people want? To be lauded and praised and put on a pedestal for their worldly experience and wisdom?
dahgts

Chicago, IL

#3 Oct 21, 2012
2- Put up a fence. Get some dobermans.

Ha, I've had dobes since the late 60's. it won't take long for them to realize they're just big babies. But I love your suggestion.
Abigail

Cary, NC

#4 Oct 21, 2012
LW2: "You kids get off my lawn!!"

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Oct 21, 2012
After you are dead a chain of phone calls starts. You can ask that your sister not be notified but she will hear about it eventually,
Ask for a quick funeral and then a death notice that says. Services have been held.
It is not easy to fly in quickly from Hawaii and you don't say where her kids live

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#6 Oct 21, 2012
dahgts wrote:
Ha, I've had dobes since the late 60's. it won't take long for them to realize they're just big babies. But I love your suggestion.
At age 6 I was attacked by a doberman and narrowly escaped certain death by shimmying up a tree. At age 14 my friend's neighbor had the friendliest doberman on earth. I've only encountered those two extremes. Maybe pit bulls are the way to go?
dahgts

Chicago, IL

#7 Oct 21, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
At age 6 I was attacked by a doberman and narrowly escaped certain death by shimmying up a tree. At age 14 my friend's neighbor had the friendliest doberman on earth. I've only encountered those two extremes. Maybe pit bulls are the way to go?
It just wanted to play.:) Got you beat..I was chased by my landlord's dobe and then while visiting some friends their dobe got on the bed my baby was sleeping on, chased me out of the room when I went to get her. That impressed me, so all of these years and the many rescue ones I've had I think every one would have let in the whole prison population in the house. But they sure frighten people enough. Not a fan of pits, that's all I'm going to say.

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