Abby 1/31/13

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“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#1
Jan 31, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: I am an adjunct teacher in a small college in the Midwest. For the most part, my students are great, but one breaks my heart. I admire him because he has overcome some incredible obstacles. Last year, he lost a good job and had to drop out for a time. He's back now, and when I asked about his new job, he said he runs a strip club.

At first, I thought he was kidding, but he assured me he manages more than 50 ladies who, at the end of their shift, leave with their lives and their dignity. He doesn't strike me as a common street pimp and I realize he took this job to survive. I'd like to approach him outside the classroom and offer to help not just him, but his employees. I don't want to come across as a do-gooder, but I don't think this is a great career.

I know this letter may make for some funny water cooler conversations, but the truth is people who get sucked into the vice trade have a hard time getting out and often come to a bad end. Do I care about my students too much, or am I being judgmental?-- WANTS TO HELP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR WANTS: I think it's a little of both. You are well-meaning, but may have jumped to some incorrect conclusions. Managers of adult entertainment clubs are not "pimps"; they are club managers. Further, just as not all prostitutes are exotic dancers, not all exotic dancers are prostitutes. Many are single women working to support themselves and their children; others may be students trying to pay for their educations.

Before trying to "rescue" any of them, visit the club and see firsthand what is -- and is not -- going on there. If there are underage girls being forced to work there, report it to the police. If not, recognize that they are adults and able to make their own career choices. While I admire your good heart, the individuals you're worried about may not need your assistance.

DEAR ABBY: I want to ask your opinion about something. I work at a donut shop inside a college campus. I have a tip jar, and many customers are generous and share their change with me.

My problem is other people who feel entitled to the money in my tip jar. There have been instances when some of them realized they were a few cents short, so they stuck their hands in my tip jar and fished out the coins they wanted. It is not out of ignorance! The jar is clearly labeled "Tips -- Thank you." If I tell them they can't take the money, they get angry. One lady screamed at me, saying I was "selfish," and the money in the jar shouldn't be just for me!

What do you think, Abby? Am I too upset over a few cents? Or am I right to feel robbed and stand up for myself when people do this?-- DOING MY JOB ON CAMPUS

DEAR DOING MY JOB: I don't blame you for feeling robbed. Your tips are meant just for you, and you have earned every penny your customers left in recognition of your good service. What these people are doing is petty theft. Some establishments avoid this problem by leaving a small container of pennies on the counter. Please suggest it to your boss.
Sam I Am

Huntingdon, TN

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#2
Jan 31, 2013
 
1. To really get a true sense of what your former pupil is involved in, you are going to have to go undercover. Get your wax on and your nails did and go to the next amateur night, then you can really see what the story is.

No, seriously, lay off, it's not your business to save the world. He is an adult making his own choices. Are you going to follow him around for the rest of his life making sure his choices comport with yours?

2. You're an idiot for having a tip jar. If a person occupies a seat and you serve them, you get tips. If not, you don't. You are a greedy wench.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#3
Jan 31, 2013
 

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LW1: The dude is working an honest paying job. Is it a great job? No. You don't think its a great career. You think he does? You thik he's working at the strip club to pay for school...so he can stay there long term? Its not his career. Its a short term means to an end job. Get over it.

LW2: Well, I for one think those tip jars are ridiculous, but hey, if someone wants to drop money in them, that's your money. The idea that your tip money should not be just for you is being uttered by a complete buffoon. Maybe you should keep the lid on the jar with a hole cut in likea piggy bank, so its easy to put money in, but not to get any out. If that does not work, dive across the counter and beat them in the face with a crueller.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#4
Jan 31, 2013
 

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1 You stuck up prude! I actually agree with amby, MYOB.

2 If someone reaches into your tip jar you have my permission to beyotch slap them. If they aint got enough money to pay, tell them to by less sheit. You are not a charity.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#5
Jan 31, 2013
 
LW1: I would MYOB. I don't think anyone will be receptive to your holier than thou attitude.

LW2: I think it's rude on their part, but I wouldn't get bent out of shape over a few pennies, either.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#6
Jan 31, 2013
 
LW1: Yes, by all means, got visit this fine establishment. Maybe you'll get a free lap dance.

LW2: Fix the stupid jar like Sub suggests. And be thankful that some a-hole hasn't come in and snatched the whole jar and run.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#7
Jan 31, 2013
 
LW2: Whoops! That would be fix the jar like Tonka suggested. <facepalm>

Since: Jan 10

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#8
Jan 31, 2013
 
L1: I don't see how this really is any of your concern.

L2: Argh. I hate tip jars, and I never put anything in them (I also don't go to coffee shops, which helps). So i don't think you get to whine about your tip jar. So there.

Since: Jan 10

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#9
Jan 31, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2: Well, I for one think those tip jars are ridiculous, but hey, if someone wants to drop money in them, that's your money. The idea that your tip money should not be just for you is being uttered by a complete buffoon. Maybe you should keep the lid on the jar with a hole cut in likea piggy bank, so its easy to put money in, but not to get any out. If that does not work, dive across the counter and beat them in the face with a crueller.
ITA.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#10
Jan 31, 2013
 
LW1: Yes, you are overstepping. Butt out. People work at strip clubs for the money, usually short-term. You cannot rescue the world, and you should not try. People need to find their own way, even if it means making less than savory choices.

LW2: Tonka + Abby. Put the piggy bank lid on the tip jar and also set out a small penny/change dish.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#11
Jan 31, 2013
 

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1- He went from unemployed to running a strip club?! How does that work? And where can I sign up?

And if you don't think strippers are prostitutes, offer one a hundred bucks for a private lap dance in the back room and see what happens.

2- I have never, ever, ever, EVER witnessed someone taking needed change from a clearly marked tip jar. I don't believe this is a real problem. It's probably something that happened once and you can't get over it.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

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#12
Jan 31, 2013
 
L! I am envision an old fashioned Salvation Army/WCTU parade wher e LW comes in in a uniform with an ax to tear down that den of iniquity. Rather like Guys and Dolls.

Since: Jan 10

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#13
Jan 31, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
2- I have never, ever, ever, EVER witnessed someone taking needed change from a clearly marked tip jar. I don't believe this is a real problem. It's probably something that happened once and you can't get over it.
I agree.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#14
Jan 31, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
And if you don't think strippers are prostitutes, offer one a hundred bucks for a private lap dance in the back room and see what happens.
You sound like you're speaking from experience. SO tell us what happend when you did it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#15
Jan 31, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
2- I have never, ever, ever, EVER witnessed someone taking needed change from a clearly marked tip jar. I don't believe this is a real problem. It's probably something that happened once and you can't get over it.
I've never witnessed anyone use food stamps to buy groceries.
So, using edogg logic, that has probably only ever happened once.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

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#16
Jan 31, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
L! I am envision an old fashioned Salvation Army/WCTU parade wher e LW comes in in a uniform with an ax to tear down that den of iniquity. Rather like Guys and Dolls.
Ha! you're right...

Since: Jan 10

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#17
Jan 31, 2013
 
I'm sure people think they can take some change from the tip jar, but I just don't think it's that common. Or if it is, more people don't complain about it, I guess.

Plus, who needs cash to help paying for their doughnut? I bet it's someone at least over 40. Most of my friends 35 and under pay for everything, even very small purchases, with plastic if at all possible.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#18
Jan 31, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
I've never witnessed anyone use food stamps to buy groceries.
So, using edogg logic, that has probably only ever happened once.
Then you're either not paying attention or you shop in a ritzy part of town. I see it almost every time I'm at the store.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#19
Jan 31, 2013
 
He gave the guy what he paid for. IE, he put out.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
You sound like you're speaking from experience. SO tell us what happend when you did it.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#20
Jan 31, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
You sound like you're speaking from experience. SO tell us what happend when you did it.
I was told by a friend... who, while he was looking for his lost puppy, tripped and stumbled into strip club.

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