Abby 10-25

[RedheadwGlasses]

Mister Tonka wrote:

And the reason I think she's not rqising the kid anymore is she says thing like "when i was younger i was a singke parent".
And the exchange between hubby and her daughter seemed like an adult conversation.
Finally, hubby decided to work part time cause they didn't need the money. To me, all that points to a couple at retirement age that just need a little part time job supplemental income and are living off retirement savngs.

STOP MAKING SENSE.

[Toj]

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>I can't identify with her at all. The way her letter read to me, was that housework on top of a job while raising a kid was just overwhelming. But she doesn't have a job now. And truth be told, I don't think she's raising kids anymore. I got the picture that the kids were grown and out. Her complaints don't seem to be about money other than wanting enogh to get a maid.
To me, housework is only a big bother when you are so busy you can't keep up with it. If she's got no job, housework should be a breeze. Give the place a good cleaning and then spend a little time each day maintaining. I think, mentally, she checked out from the whole concept of housework when she had everything else going on in her life an still maintains that mindset even though its not the same burden it once was.

What I got from the letter is she always hated housecleaning and wasn't her thing. That she made it known to her hubby. When she was first out of the job and he was working full time she probably felt obligated to do the lion's share. Now he's only working part time and she's not used to him being around that much and, not only that, he's not doing housework. Whether she has a right to betch about it or not, it's not how she wanted to life to be.

It's on her though. She needs to leave and get a job if she'd be that much happier. How you do it, through counselling and talking to hubby or just up and leaving and getting a separation would be up to her and what she feels it's all worth.

I don't know whether or not he's a problem, he could be but I don't know. She sounds like a PITA whining woman that needs to live her life instead of complaining about it.

[RedheadwGlasses]

TOj: ABSOLUTELY.

[Mister Tonka]

Toj wrote:

When she was first out of the job and he was working full time she probably felt obligated to do the lion's share.

At least she's got some sense. If I'm working and you're not, you're god damn right you better be doing the lion's share of the house work.

[Toj]

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>At least she's got some sense. If I'm working and you're not, you're god damn right you better be doing the lion's share of the house work.

Well, of course that's how most people feel and how it should be.

[Toj]

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>At least she's got some sense. If I'm working and you're not, you're god damn right you better be doing the lion's share of the house work.

The thing I have a problem with is her complaining, knowing what she wants but not taking action. Makes me think it's not all as bad as she's trying to paint it. She is just restless.

[RedheadwGlasses]

Toj wrote:

<quoted text>
The thing I have a problem with is her complaining, knowing what she wants but not taking action. Makes me think it's not all as bad as she's trying to paint it. She is just restless.

I think that's a spot-on analysis.

[Kuuipo]

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

<quoted text>
I re-read it and I think you're right -- her daughter is gone, and she just doesn't want to do housework, and getting a job gets her off the hook from doing it.

My mother got to a point in her life where she just did NOT want to do housework any more. I gave her a Merry Maids certificate for her birthday. Best gift I ever gave her. She hired maids from then on. The thing is, sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. And it's never as much drudgery as you imagine it to be once you get started. Then there's that wonderful feeling of having a clean house.

[RACE]

SNORT!
There's a feeling I will never experience...

Kuuipo wrote:

<quoted text>
My mother got to a point in her life where she just did NOT want to do housework any more. I gave her a Merry Maids certificate for her birthday. Best gift I ever gave her. She hired maids from then on. The thing is, sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. And it's never as much drudgery as you imagine it to be once you get started. Then there's that wonderful feeling of having a clean house.