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Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#43 Jul 25, 2013
Third amy letter:

DEAR AMY: When “Suzi” asked if you have to love family members you don’t even like, you said no.

I certainly agree. No one is required to feel any particular way about anyone, least of all family members.

You mentioned the requirement, however, to “tolerate” family members. I disagree. I have some family members who are so horrible and toxic that I don’t even tolerate them.-- Healthy Now

DEAR HEALTHY: Self-preservation is key.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#44 Jul 25, 2013
Mimi wrote:
<quoted text>
While I (fully) agree she needs to wait a few years, I object to a doctor refusing based solely on her age, more over I strongly object to the prevailing attitude about not sterilizing childless women (of any age). It's misogynistic. All women need to be breeders....and they don't know their own minds or what's good for them so the establishment (read: patriarchy) gets to set the rules.
Oh no, it's not just women. Good luck getting a vasectomy if you're a young man, even if you're already a dad.

My older son-in-law was 24 or 25 and they already had FOUR(!) when he was finally able to talk his doctor into doing it. Daughter was scheduled for her tubal after #3, but he was a preemie with some complications and the hospital would not do it then (because that's not a door you want to close if your baby might not survive.) Of course that tiny baby boy is now a big strapping 16-year-old with plans to enlist in the Marine Corps after high school!

She had some complications herself before her rescheduled surgery (threw a clot into her lung after the C-section and had to go on coumadin), and by the time she was stable enough to consider surgery, she was also pregnant with #4. Fred got snipped after that, but as I said he had to strenuously insist on it, due to his age.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#45 Jul 25, 2013
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh no, it's not just women. Good luck getting a vasectomy if you're a young man, even if you're already a dad.
My older son-in-law was 24 or 25 and they already had FOUR(!) when he was finally able to talk his doctor into doing it. Daughter was scheduled for her tubal after #3, but he was a preemie with some complications and the hospital would not do it then (because that's not a door you want to close if your baby might not survive.) Of course that tiny baby boy is now a big strapping 16-year-old with plans to enlist in the Marine Corps after high school!
She had some complications herself before her rescheduled surgery (threw a clot into her lung after the C-section and had to go on coumadin), and by the time she was stable enough to consider surgery, she was also pregnant with #4. Fred got snipped after that, but as I said he had to strenuously insist on it, due to his age.
Oh I know. My dad had one after my sister was born. I think he was like 23/24 at the time and they didn't want to do it. They did it, but he had to fight for it. That was back in '67 though.

Still male or female, if someone wants it done, and there is no medical reason (would cause harm) to NOT do it, and it's a service that they offer, and it's getting paid for, it's not their place to worry about other peoples' decisions. As I've said before, one person NOT having kids will not cause the planet to explode.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#46 Jul 25, 2013
Mimi wrote:
<quoted text>
While I (fully) agree she needs to wait a few years, I object to a doctor refusing based solely on her age, more over I strongly object to the prevailing attitude about not sterilizing childless women (of any age). It's misogynistic. All women need to be breeders....and they don't know their own minds or what's good for them so the establishment (read: patriarchy) gets to set the rules.
I totally agree.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#47 Jul 25, 2013
http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/09/26/2...

Sterilization in NC until 1972

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#48 Jul 25, 2013
PEllen wrote:
http://www.charlotteobserver.c om/2011/09/26/2637820/wallace- kuralts-era-of-sterilization.h tml
Sterilization in NC until 1972
Wow. Not that I didn't know this kind of thing happened, I just never looked at any stats particularly. Still forced, coerced, state mandated vs voluntary, own volition, requested...apples and pomegranates.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#49 Jul 26, 2013
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh no, it's not just women. Good luck getting a vasectomy if you're a young man, even if you're already a dad.
My older son-in-law was 24 or 25 and they already had FOUR(!) when he was finally able to talk his doctor into doing it. Daughter was scheduled for her tubal after #3, but he was a preemie with some complications and the hospital would not do it then (because that's not a door you want to close if your baby might not survive.) Of course that tiny baby boy is now a big strapping 16-year-old with plans to enlist in the Marine Corps after high school!
She had some complications herself before her rescheduled surgery (threw a clot into her lung after the C-section and had to go on coumadin), and by the time she was stable enough to consider surgery, she was also pregnant with #4. Fred got snipped after that, but as I said he had to strenuously insist on it, due to his age.
When my friends were expecting #2, the dad said he was going to get snipped in a month or two (early on in the pregnancy). WE female friends talked him out of it, just saying, "You never know, just wait." THey lost that baby -- full term, in delivery. Thank goodness he hadn't gotten snipped, or they wouldn't have had their next kid two years later, a little girl they adore.(When he wanted to get snipped, the mom would have still been in her first trimester, that's awfully early to be making permananent plans.)

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