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1 - 10 of 10 Comments Last updated Jun 3, 2014

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Jun 3, 2014
 
DEAR ABBY: I suffered a serious accident at work and have endured numerous surgeries, with another on the horizon. Because the injuries are in the cervical and lumbar areas, they are not visible.

Last week, I parked my car in a handicapped spot in the supermarket parking lot. Having a proper tag on my license plate, I didn't think twice about it. As I entered the store, a woman who had parked nearby started shouting at me, saying I shouldn't have parked where I did. I indicated she should read my plate, to which she then replied that I was "phony" for taking advantage of the system. I imagine she thought this because I was walking unaided that day.

Abby, please inform your readers that not all injuries are visible and not to assume that someone is taking advantage because he or she doesn't meet your expectations of how a disabled person "should" appear.-- HURTING IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HURTING: Gladly. This subject has appeared in my column before. You are correct that not all disabilities are visible. One that comes to mind would be a heart problem that prevents a patient from walking long distances. Another would be multiple sclerosis.

Readers, if you are concerned that someone is gaming the system, rather than confront the person, write down the license number of the car with the handicap plate and inform the Department of Motor Vehicles. If you are correct, the authorities will be interested in that information. And if you are not, you won't have caused someone who already has problems additional distress.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Gilbert" for more than 30 years. We have always managed to resolve our differences in a relatively short time, but this time I'm not too sure.

Our son was married last weekend, and because we're of Celtic heritage, I chose to wear a beautiful dress from Ireland. Because it has short sleeves I brought a shawl to keep warm. When I asked my husband why he never said I looked nice, he replied he didn't know whether I looked nice because he "couldn't see me under that damned blanket!"

I was stunned. I wore the shawl only when I was near the door because it was cold there. I danced with him and several others many times and didn't have it on then. I must have told Gil at least 20 times how handsome he looked, and so did everyone else. The shawl may have been a little big on me because I am only 5 feet tall and weigh 95 pounds. But I didn't think I looked hideous.

I'm hurt over his remark, and we haven't really spoken for several days. What can I do to get past this awful feeling that we're going in opposite directions?-- OFFENDED IN THE EAST

DEAR OFFENDED: A good beginning would be to ask your husband why he made such a mean-spirited remark. He owes you an apology for his tactlessness. If he really hadn't thought you were dressed appropriately for your son's wedding, he should have mentioned it BEFORE you left the house so you could change if you wished. Slamming you afterward wasn't helpful, and your hurt feelings are understandable. But unless you have other reasons for worrying that you might be headed "in opposite directions," don't let this be blown out of proportion.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#2
Jun 3, 2014
 

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1. Yes, some people are ignorant. Deal.

2. So in 30 years this is the worst you've had to deal with? He didn't like your horse blanket and you write to a columnist? WTF is the big deal?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#3
Jun 3, 2014
 

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Team Saluki
Pippa

Hancock, NY

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#4
Jun 3, 2014
 

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Oh yes. Team Saluki on both letters.

“An Apple a day”

Since: Jun 08

nil carborundum illegitemi

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#5
Jun 3, 2014
 

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L3. There must be more to this than this tiny little issue. "Gil" probably does this all the time. Dump him.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

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#6
Jun 3, 2014
 

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LW1 is not giving California a bad name. Like Saluki's answers.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#7
Jun 3, 2014
 

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boundary painter wrote:
LW1 is not giving California a bad name. Like Saluki's answers.
Thanks all. Had my Wheaties this morning......
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

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#8
Jun 3, 2014
 

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<The others like your answers, too Saluki.>

Glance into a close up for Gil
(a) He got tired of saying "Yes, Dear" when LW2 craves flattery
(b) He didn't really want to go to that wedding but put up with it
(c) He was bored when she danced with others
(d) He has tolerated her conceit for years and will continue to do so if
she will just not rock the boat.
or
(e) other

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

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#9
Jun 3, 2014
 

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L1: Thank goodness this LW wrote in to enlighten everyone!

L2: OMG! You're kidding me! He said that? The pig. I don't see why you would ever talk to him again!

sarcasm.

Actually, the LW is overreacting way too much. It wasn't a nice thing to say but I'll bet it really isn't a fight over the shawl.
Kuuipo

Herndon, VA

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#10
Jun 3, 2014
 

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LW1: I am sorry that you are suffering from your injuries. I am also sorry that there are so many hostile and ignorant people in this country. People should be thankful that they are healthy and able to walk a few steps from the parking lot to the business.

LW2: That remark was tactless, but he has a point that you missed because you focused on your hurt feelings. You need to purchase a pretty jacket to wear at formal occasions. Something dressy - maybe velvet. That way you don't spoil your look with your casual outerwear.

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