“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Aug 12, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm a single woman in my late 30s and have an 18-year-old daughter. When I am alone or out with my girlfriends, I am constantly hit on by younger men. My girlfriends say it's because I don't look my age and that I should feel flattered. Well, I am not a "cougar," and I don't get turned on by younger men. I find it offensive when I am approached by them.

While my single friends are being asked on romantic dates by professional older men, I'm being asked on dates by struggling college boys who have no car, no job and cramped living quarters with three other roommates. Give me a break!

It has reached the point that I just pretend to be married. But it's starting to bother me that mature men don't find me attractive. I have stopped wanting to go out because of this. What should I do?-- IN A FUNK IN FRESNO

DEAR IN A FUNK: Where's your sense of humor? Instead of telling these young men you're married, why not tell them something closer to the truth -- that you're old enough to be their mother and ask if they happen to have a single uncle.

Seriously, if the only men who pay attention to you are men in their early 20s, your problem may be the way you're packaging the product you're trying to sell. Your makeup, hairstyle and attire may send the wrong message, and that's why men in your target demographic aren't showing an interest. Talk to your friends about this and see what they have to offer.

DEAR ABBY: I have a stressful job but do not work "regular" hours. I also care for my aged mother, which is like having another job. Because of this, I have little time to myself or to relax. During warm weather I enjoy taking an occasional break on my back deck, whether reading materials for work, enjoying a novel or catching a quick nap. Frequently, I'll transact business on my cellphone.

Anytime my neighbor sees me sitting on my deck, he'll come out of his house. He thinks it's funny to say things like, "Boy, I wish I could be like you and not have to work," or "Must be nice to just sit around."

The first few times it was funny, but I no longer find it humorous -- especially when I'm stressed out about work or my mother. Yesterday I warned him, "Don't go there!"

How can I nicely let my neighbor know his joke is now stale and no longer appropriate? With all the pressure I'm under, he's making even a quick break stressful.-- BEHIND THE 8-BALL IN OHIO

DEAR BEHIND THE 8-BALL: Your neighbor may be a tad jealous of what he perceives as all your free time, or he may be a one-joke wonder who's trying to be friendly. But the nicest and most direct way to get your message across would be to explain that you're not only working from home, but also caring for your mother -- and when you take these breaks, solitude is necessary.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Aug 12, 2014
1.Abby hit the nail on the head. Check the packaging and quit borrowing your 18 year old's clothes.

Also, unless things have changed an awful lot younger, college aged guys don't hit on a group that includes clearly older women.

2. It is a pleasantry. You are being overly sensitive.

Wear ear buds and ignore him or just wave and say Morning Ralph.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Aug 12, 2014
1 first world girl problems...

2 He is hitting on you. Put up a privacy curtain or Next time he does this point out that he apparently has as much free time as you do, since he never fails to show up.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Detroit, MI

#4 Aug 12, 2014
1- I agree it's the packaging

2- I agree you are being overly sensitive

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#6 Aug 12, 2014
L1. Maybe she looks like a bar fly?

Sometimes you need buck trend and make the initiative.
Jump in with both feet first, in other words. I don't know....

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Aug 12, 2014
Lw1: you sound like a b!ąch. Its one thing to be uninterested and even annoyed, but to be offended that someone finds you attractive enough to hit on you? How is that offensive?

Lw2: overly sensitive pita. Lemme guess. You get pissed off when you roll out of the office at 3:30 and someone jokes that you keep banker's hours.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#8 Aug 12, 2014
LW1: I was thinking the same thing. She's probably wearing stripper heels and clothes fit for her daughter. She might also be hanging out in the wrong kinds of places.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#9 Aug 12, 2014
LW1: It's really not so hard to say, thank you, but I'm not interested, and a more agreeable person would take it in stride and most likely find it flattering.

A little bit of grace and charm even when you are feeling pestered is not such a bad thing.

Perhaps older men are wise enough to stay away from a PITA like you, and the younger once lack the experience to know better.

LW2: Fences make good neighbors. I would be annoyed if my neighbor made an appearance every time I was outside chilling.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 Aug 12, 2014
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: It's really not so hard to say, thank you, but I'm not interested, and a more agreeable person would take it in stride and most likely find it flattering.
A little bit of grace and charm even when you are feeling pestered is not such a bad thing.
Perhaps older men are wise enough to stay away from a PITA like you, and the younger once lack the experience to know better.
LW2: Fences make good neighbors. I would be annoyed if my neighbor made an appearance every time I was outside chilling.
When I get home I usually changed my clothes and head outside to the backyard. After being inside at work all day I crave to be outside. Lots of times my neighbors are in their backyard as well. We say hello and that's about it. Sometimes we chat. They're in their early 30s. I'm always amazed at how often they're home since they have no kids but it's no bother when we're all out there. Sometimes they'll ask for something I might have that'll help them with what they're working on (like my good ladder) or I'll ask them a question.

It's very comfortable. No one is required to speak and it's very natural. I know I'm lucky that on both sides my neighbors are pretty good for neighbors.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#11 Aug 12, 2014
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
When I get home I usually changed my clothes and head outside to the backyard. After being inside at work all day I crave to be outside. Lots of times my neighbors are in their backyard as well. We say hello and that's about it. Sometimes we chat. They're in their early 30s. I'm always amazed at how often they're home since they have no kids but it's no bother when we're all out there. Sometimes they'll ask for something I might have that'll help them with what they're working on (like my good ladder) or I'll ask them a question.
It's very comfortable. No one is required to speak and it's very natural. I know I'm lucky that on both sides my neighbors are pretty good for neighbors.
I got along well with my neighbors at the past 3 places I lived before here. Was really good friends with the last neighbors in CO. We are also good friends with the people next to our neighbors here and do Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with them and their family, usually.

My current neighbor is a whack job, tho, as you know. When they first moved in my boys were younger, and after work my wife and I would sit in the driveway and watch them ride bikes and stuff. He came over EVERY TIME. He also would not leave. It was annoying. So we just stopped going outside. Then the creepy lifting up one blind and watching my wife whenever she was outside and only he and she were home started. It went all downhill from there.

I don't mind being friends with my neighbors, but I don't want to have a conversation every time I'm outside, even if we are good friends ... as if the person is just watching and waiting for you to go outside, so they can talk to you. I find that odd.

It's so funny, now when ever I come home and if my neighbor is outside, he literally runs (I mean power walks or runs) inside through his front door. I'm not kidding. It's so odd. He has mental issues. My FIL and MIL came to visit and when my FIL came back from running an errand, he did the same thing. It is like the twilight zone. I don't even bother him or talk to him. I just pretend he doesn't exist.
CrunchyBacon

Thailand

#12 Aug 12, 2014
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I got along well with my neighbors at the past 3 places I lived before here. Was really good friends with the last neighbors in CO. We are also good friends with the people next to our neighbors here and do Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with them and their family, usually.
My current neighbor is a whack job, tho, as you know. When they first moved in my boys were younger, and after work my wife and I would sit in the driveway and watch them ride bikes and stuff. He came over EVERY TIME. He also would not leave. It was annoying. So we just stopped going outside. Then the creepy lifting up one blind and watching my wife whenever she was outside and only he and she were home started. It went all downhill from there.
I don't mind being friends with my neighbors, but I don't want to have a conversation every time I'm outside, even if we are good friends ... as if the person is just watching and waiting for you to go outside, so they can talk to you. I find that odd.
It's so funny, now when ever I come home and if my neighbor is outside, he literally runs (I mean power walks or runs) inside through his front door. I'm not kidding. It's so odd. He has mental issues. My FIL and MIL came to visit and when my FIL came back from running an errand, he did the same thing. It is like the twilight zone. I don't even bother him or talk to him. I just pretend he doesn't exist.
Oh fer fckssake, brah! Your whole life is: "LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!" Then when someone does look at you you freak out! Not cool brosuf!

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#13 Aug 12, 2014
Jealous much?
CrunchyBacon wrote:
<quoted text>Oh fer fckssake, brah! Your whole life is: "LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!" Then when someone does look at you you freak out! Not cool brosuf!

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