Amy 6-14

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“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Jun 14, 2013
 
Dear Amy: I am an 18-year-old senior in high school. I am about to graduate and go to college. Each time I go for a yearly checkup, my doctor suggests that I get the HPV vaccine.

My mother, who is a little skittish, hems and haws and ultimately decides that, no, I should not get the vaccine. Her reasoning is that sex will wait until after marriage, so there is no risk of my getting HPV and therefore no need for the vaccination.

I think that she is burying her head in the sand. She is banking on the idea that I will not have sex until I am married, that I will have sex with only one person and that that one person will only have sex with me. I know that all of these things are extraordinarily unlikely.

I would like to get the vaccine. I would feel safer, especially because I am aware that I will probably be sexually active. To disclose this to my mother would open up a whole new can of worms and would become a completely different argument with her, probably resulting in my wearing a chastity belt.

How should I approach this subject with her? Is there a way that I can convince her that it is more practical for me to get the vaccine? Worried Student

Dear Worried: Welcome to adulthood. We have T-shirts.

You have already discussed this with your mother. Presumably, your doctor has also
discussed this with her.

The HPV vaccine is given to inoculate women against the human papillomavirus, which can lead to cervical cancer (and other cancers) later in life. This vaccine is usually offered to girls and young women before they become sexually active, thus eliminating the risk that they have already been exposed to the virus through sexual contact.

At age 18, you no longer have to ask your mother's permission to receive a vaccine which could literally save your life down the road. As a legal adult, your medical and sexual choices are now your own to make. I appreciate that you realize how serious these choices are and suggest you do some research to see how you can receive this vaccine as well as accurate information about sex and birth control. A great source for information is Planned Parenthood: plannedparenthood.org .

Dear Amy: I am the mother of a 17-year-old son. I recently found out that he calls the mother of one of his friends "ma"! He did it right in front of me! I told him to stop doing it because he only has one mother me! I further told him that he owes me an apology. He does not understand what the big deal is.

I told him to apologize to me not because I've told him to, but only if he feels that he has done something wrong. I also told him that if he failed to see what was wrong with his actions, there would be a problem between us. He does not know that I am giving him three days to apologize; then I will talk with him about why it's necessary. My son is a bright and intelligent kid. I really think he knows why he is wrong. Am I overreacting? The Only Mom

Dear Mom: You are overreacting by a factor of 1,000. Furthermore, you are giving your son ultimatums, timetables and circular logic without giving him the benefit of honest, thoughtful explanations. This is manipulative and traps him into hurting your feelings further without understanding why. There is a big difference between "ma" and "mom." Demanding an apology and then demanding sincerity are opposite challenges. Your son might be an immature teenager, but what's your excuse?

Dear Amy: "Divorced Dad" wondered if he should date his daughter's 18-year-old friend.

I was that girl once. The only things it led to (after many of what I now consider wasted years) were anger, resentment and a huge amount of insecurity about my ability to make good decisions. Been There

Dear Been There: "Divorced Dad" wasn't interested in the long-term impact on the young woman in question.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#2
Jun 14, 2013
 

Judged:

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1- So you're basically admitting you're gonna be a who re? And see, this is how dumb our youth is today. She's 18 and doesn't realize she doesn't need mommy's consent anymore.

2- Good heavens, lady.

3- If you're willing to have sex with your father, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#3
Jun 14, 2013
 
1 PSA in disguise. I aint buying it.

2 Lady, if I were your kid, I would be looking for someone else to call "ma" too. You are way around the bend on this, and probably other things too.

3 "Wasted" is relative. But hey, at least you are smart enough to realize you have a huge amount of insecurity about my ability to make good decisions.

Because you can't

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#4
Jun 14, 2013
 
L1: Is your mom my mom? Polio vaccine? Hells yes! Anything that implies that I may be sexually active in the future, even something that may protect me in case of rape? Sinful!

L2: You are going to make one nightmarish mother-in-law someday.

L3: Yes, but did you get your HPV shot.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#5
Jun 14, 2013
 

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L1: Please don't have sex until you're smart/mature enough to know that you don't need your mommy's permission for medical procedures now that you're 18.

L2: How awful, your son has a good friend whose family treats him like their own. It SUCKS when your kids develop strong relationships with people who care about them.

L3: Still icky. This is not the sort of rehash that improves over time.
Cass

Upland, CA

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#6
Jun 14, 2013
 
LW1 - You are 18. You don't need your mother's permission to do anything, much less get vaccinated.

LW2 - The fact that a young man is calling somebody else's mother "ma" is very weird, but as Race said, if you were my mother, I'd be looking for somebody else to call "ma" as well. Good lord!

LW3 - The very idea smacks of incest. Yeah, I know it's not incest, but yeaachgh. How can somebody even think of banging somebody so close in age to their teenage kid is beyond me.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#7
Jun 14, 2013
 
For those saying lw1 does not need permission, I think she is just as concerned over the 'discussion' this would raise with mom. If she's on mom's insurance, won't it show up on the insurance billing statement? I think she wants to get it and avoid dealong with mom's scorn

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#8
Jun 14, 2013
 
Cass wrote:
LW1 - You are 18. You don't need your mother's permission to do anything, much less get vaccinated.
LW2 - The fact that a young man is calling somebody else's mother "ma" is very weird, but as Race said, if you were my mother, I'd be looking for somebody else to call "ma" as well. Good lord!
LW3 - The very idea smacks of incest. Yeah, I know it's not incest, but yeaachgh. How can somebody even think of banging somebody so close in age to their teenage kid is beyond me.
incest schmincest. Hot is hot. How old is Selena Gomez? Legal, but young enough to be my daughter. Game on.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#9
Jun 14, 2013
 
Ps: madonna& tina turner are with men over 20 years younger. Jlo is 16 older than her man.

Incesty?

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

United States

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#10
Jun 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
Ps: madonna& tina turner are with men over 20 years younger. Jlo is 16 older than her man.
Incesty?
Are they dating their child's friends?

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

United States

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#11
Jun 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
For those saying lw1 does not need permission, I think she is just as concerned over the 'discussion' this would raise with mom. If she's on mom's insurance, won't it show up on the insurance billing statement? I think she wants to get it and avoid dealong with mom's scorn
Welcome to adulthood, we have t shirts. She can get her own dam insurance.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#12
Jun 14, 2013
 

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Banging someone barely legal, I get. Relationship? Ugh, I can barely hold a conversation with anyone that young.

Since: Jan 10

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#13
Jun 14, 2013
 

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L1: Ask your mom if she waited until she was married to have sex.$20 says she did not. You are 18. You dn't need her permission to get a shot that could prevent cervical cancer and sterility. DO IT.

L2: Sigh. Yes, just tighten that leash around your nearly-adult-kid's neck and see where that gets you.(Nice answer from Amy.)

your insecurity is ugly.

L3: Your response doesn't even make sense in light of what that letter is about. Maybe it affected your ability to communicate as well?

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#14
Jun 14, 2013
 
Also, Madonna and Tina Turner dating people 20 years younger? Still makes them older than me...

Since: Jan 10

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#15
Jun 14, 2013
 
LW1 should get the shot and let mom be uncomfortable with her own stupidity when the paperwork arrives in the mail.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#16
Jun 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
For those saying lw1 does not need permission, I think she is just as concerned over the 'discussion' this would raise with mom. If she's on mom's insurance, won't it show up on the insurance billing statement? I think she wants to get it and avoid dealong with mom's scorn
This is exactly what I was thinking. She probably has no money to pay for it out-of-pocket.

OR, she doesn't want to have to "lie" to her mother and wants it to be out in the open.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#17
Jun 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
Ps: madonna& tina turner are with men over 20 years younger. Jlo is 16 older than her man.
Incesty?
Yes. For me. Some like the young ones.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#18
Jun 14, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Welcome to adulthood, we have t shirts. She can get her own dam insurance.
What 18 year old has $800 or so a month to pay for good coverage? She's going to school so it's not like she's working full time where she can get insurance through her job.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#19
Jun 14, 2013
 
L2: I agree with the notion that this woman is super insecure. She shounds like a bitch.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#20
Jun 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
For those saying lw1 does not need permission, I think she is just as concerned over the 'discussion' this would raise with mom. If she's on mom's insurance, won't it show up on the insurance billing statement? I think she wants to get it and avoid dealong with mom's scorn
I was thinking something similar.

I suggest this girl wait 'til she gets to college and then get the vaccine through the school's health center.

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