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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Feb 25, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My two adult granddaughters have rejected me, their doting grandfather. Their father gave me this explanation: "They are uncomfortable with the way you rub their shoulders and necks."

These girls and both parents have misinterpreted my innocent expressions of affection, which haven't changed since the girls were little. The only change is in their perception of my actions.

I am devastated. I asked twice to meet with these family members to discuss their concerns. It has been three months; no meeting time has been offered. There has been no contact, and neither girl has called me for any reason this year.

I can't just stop loving those with whom I have forged a 20-year bond of affection. How can this rupture be repaired?-- GRIEVING GRANDDAD

DEAR GRIEVING GRANDDAD: Clearly, there is a need for some professional mediation here, provided your granddaughters and their parents are willing. If your touches have been regarded as inappropriate, you should have been warned about it years ago. Obviously something has made your granddaughters uncomfortable, and the rupture won't heal until it can be discussed openly.

DEAR ABBY: Lately I have noticed that people are bringing their dogs shopping with them. I'm not talking about service dogs, but pets.

The other day, a woman brought her dog into the grocery store. While I'll admit the little thing looked cute sitting in the shopping cart, someone else's food will be in that cart next, and who knows where that dog's feet have been?

Why does management allow this? I'm willing to bet money that if I were to bring my pit bull, "Bruiser," inside the grocery store with me, I'd be stopped immediately. Talk about a double standard. I welcome your comments.-- ASKANCE IN POWAY, CALIF.

DEAR ASKANCE: You should speak to the store manager and ask why it was permitted, because I was under the impression that health laws do not permit canines inside establishments that sell food -- unless they are service dogs. "Bruiser" might be unwelcome not because of his size, but because there is concern about the breed's reputation.

DEAR ABBY: I am responding to your answer to "Lost, Alone and Worried in Urbana, Ill." (Dec. 26), the young girl who is being made to teach her younger, learning-disabled brother how to read. You were right in advising her to talk to her school counselor. However, you should have emphasized strongly to her that it is a must.

The school counselor is part of a guidance team that evaluates students with learning differences and strategizes ways to support the student and family. The parents are part of the team and attend meetings requested by the teacher, counselor or the parents themselves. All conversations are confidential.

This may help the sister understand that she will not be blamed for anything. She is in a difficult position, and you were right to suppose that the parents may be frustrated and looking for help. It may be exactly what this family needs to get back on track.-- LOUISE B., ELEMENTARY SCHOOL COUNSELOR

DEAR LOUISE B.: I appreciate your input, and I hope the girl who wrote sees your letter.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Feb 25, 2013
lw1: touchy feely creepy old man. get a clue

lw2: you're worried about dogs' feet going where people's food goes? What about diapered butts oozing excrement out the side or pee escaping from a way too full diaper?

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#3 Feb 25, 2013
LW1 - The girls have been uncomfortable enough that they went to their parents about the problem. The grandfather should write a letter to each girl and apologize for making them feel uncomfortable and tell them that it won't happen again.

LW2 - Go Tonka!

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#4 Feb 25, 2013
1 team Shari23

2 Gross Tonka for the win!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Feb 25, 2013
L1; Stop touching young girls, you creep.

L2: But the store can't do much. THey can only tell you to not bring your dog, and once you tell them "He's a service dog," the business is prohibited from asking what your disability is or what kind of service dog your pet is. The ADA needs to fix this.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#6 Feb 25, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
lw2: you're worried about dogs' feet going where people's food goes? What about diapered butts oozing excrement out the side or pee escaping from a way too full diaper?
People can be allergic to dogs. Don't know of anyone allergic to babies.

And if you're toting your kid around with a messy diaper oozing from the sides, I'd say your parenting style needs some improvement.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#7 Feb 25, 2013
L1: I guarantee they indicated one way or another that they didn't like this treatment LONG before it came to this, Grandpa Creepy.

L2: I had some friends that saw people bring their dog to Lowe's (home improvement store) and so they decided to bring theirs. I don't know if it's allowed or what, but that seems like the last place I'd bring mine. All kinds of chemicals, broken glass, etc? Nope.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#8 Feb 25, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
And if you're toting your kid around with a messy diaper oozing from the sides, I'd say your parenting style needs some improvement.
Pretty sure diaper blowouts happen to the best of parents.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#9 Feb 25, 2013
Well, the blowouts happen to the CHILDREN of good parents, not to the parents themselves...

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Memphis, TN

#10 Feb 25, 2013
1. Really? You don't get the difference between how you treat 6 yr. olds and adults? They don't appreciate your behavior. You can't stop loving them? No one says you have to. But you have to change how you show it.

2. Really? You don't get the difference between a little lap dog and a pit bull? I agree dogs don't belong in stores, but your "I bet they wouldn't allow my pit bull" misses the point.

3. Why even publish a letter like this?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#11 Feb 25, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Pretty sure diaper blowouts happen to the best of parents.
That's when you go change it, not set the kid down on top of the grapes.
ChicagolandChica

United States

#12 Feb 25, 2013
LW1 - There is a difference in affection toward a baby/toddler/young child and an adult. It's generally acceptable to kiss a baby on the forehead and cuddle them close, but if you did that with an adult relative (not a significant other) it might be considered creepy. Maybe the problem is that your affectionate touches haven't changed in 20 years?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Feb 25, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
People can be allergic to dogs. Don't know of anyone allergic to babies.
And if you're toting your kid around with a messy diaper oozing from the sides, I'd say your parenting style needs some improvement.
the point is, it happens. if you are going to worry about dog's feet contaminating your food, you should definitely be concerned about dirty diaper leakage in the same space.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#14 Feb 25, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
lw1: touchy feely creepy old man. get a clue
lw2: you're worried about dogs' feet going where people's food goes? What about diapered butts oozing excrement out the side or pee escaping from a way too full diaper?
Ha! This brings to mind an incident I overheard while waiting on line at a Walmart store a few years ago. Two store associates were discussing a woman who had just left. The associate had wondered why some of the items were wet and wanted to know whether the customer wanted them even though they were in that condition. It seems the woman had refused to buy some particular thing for her son and he had punished her by unzipping his pants and peeing on everything she had in her cart. She figured she had to pay for the items he'd destroyed and simply took them to the checkout and hadn't told the associate what her son had done. So the associate needed to clean herself, the whole checkout area, conveyor, scanner, register, the shopping cart.... As you can imagine everything that had had contact with those fluids needed to be cleaned and disinfected. She said the store would not have charged the woman for those items but I do wonder about that.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#15 Feb 25, 2013
This is why I don't put ANYTHING in the part of the cart where babies/toddlers sit.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#16 Feb 25, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
This is why I don't put ANYTHING in the part of the cart where babies/toddlers sit.
I'm not going to *now*. I suppose I never thought about it before.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#17 Feb 25, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
This is why I don't put ANYTHING in the part of the cart where babies/toddlers sit.
You just changed me! I always put my cloth bags and my vegetables in the top thing. From now on NOTHING goes in the top thing.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#18 Feb 25, 2013
Any loose items (tomatoes, grapes) get put in those plastic bags anyway, so I dont worry too much about it.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
This is why I don't put ANYTHING in the part of the cart where babies/toddlers sit.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#19 Feb 25, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm not going to *now*. I suppose I never thought about it before.
Aren't your items normally in packages?

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#20 Feb 25, 2013
RACE wrote:
Any loose items (tomatoes, grapes) get put in those plastic bags anyway, so I dont worry too much about it.
<quoted text>
I don't use the small plastic bags so baby leavings make a difference to me.

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