And as long as there's been some form of booty call involved at some point, that eliminates the possibility of annulment for non-consummation. Which I'm vaguely recalling some states in the US may still have.<quoted text>
So this statement of yours: "If your "husband" is just gonna be some guy who's putting a roof over your head and an occassional booty call, then you have no business being "married."" is complete fantasy. For many many many people, this was (and still is) in fact, a definition of their marriage.
As far as I can tell, filing a marriage certificate and having one post-marriage booty call are all that is required for a legally valid heterosexual marriage across all 50 US states.