Comments
1 - 13 of 13 Comments Last updated Dec 14, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Dec 13, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old daughter, "Erica," is planning to marry her 24-year-old boyfriend. I use the term "boyfriend" loosely because their relationship consists entirely of texting, talking on the phone and the Internet. There has been no dating or getting to know each other in person. Erica is intent on marrying this man even though he has lied to her several times in addition to having lied to us. She is planning to attend a four-year college.

I'm not sure how to handle this. She hid the relationship from us for more than six months. I realize Erica needs to make her own mistakes, but I'm not sure how to make her understand my very real concern about this.

I have raised other children who went through various phases of teenage rebellion, but we were able to reach a general compromise on all types of behavior. However, she is unwilling to discuss the possibility of waiting. Any advice would be appreciated.-- NEEDS HELP IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NEEDS HELP: If Erica were my daughter, I'd suggest that because this relationship is so serious it's time you both paid a visit to her intended. Assuming her father is in the picture, he should be there, too. The subject of who will be paying for college should be discussed, and whether Erica will be able to continue her education if she should become pregnant. It may give her a glimpse of exactly what she's letting herself in for before the wedding.

Of course the three of you will want to meet as many of his family and friends as possible. Because Erica won't listen to reason, perhaps seeing will bring her back down to earth. This will also give you (all) a chance to find out what else her "boyfriend" may have been lying about, including his age.

DEAR ABBY: What do I do about my husband's cruelty to our cat? My children love "Miss Kitty," but their dad kicks her and terrorizes the poor little thing to the point where I don't think I can protect her any longer, especially when I'm not home.

I have told the kids that Dad is wrong and not to be like him, but I'm afraid eventually they may think it's OK to mistreat animals. What should I do?-- CALIFORNIA ANIMAL LOVER

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Find Miss Kitty a good home ASAP! Your husband appears to have sociopathic tendencies. Does he exhibit them in any other ways? A man who mistreats animals might also abuse children if they should get in his way or he is in a bad mood.

Of course, your children will be upset when you give their beloved pet away. Explain that it had to be done because she wasn't safe around their father.

DEAR ABBY: My sister informed me today that her children have registered at Toys R Us, and has instructed me to purchase only the toys on their registry for Christmas! Apparently, this is the new way to shop.

Abby, I have never told anyone what to buy my kids, and I'm appalled by this new idea of a Christmas registry. I try very hard to buy great Christmas gifts that my loved ones will enjoy. Am I wrong to think this is rude?-- APPALLED SHOPPER

DEAR APPALLED: I agree your sister's request is presumptuous. But I suppose a Christmas registry is a natural progression from wedding and baby registries. There wouldn't be a Toys R Us registry if it wasn't a successful sales tool for people who don't like to shop. Because you are not one of them, and Christmas shopping brings you pleasure, I suggest you do as you wish.

P.S. Let's see how Sissy responds when you let her know you have adopted her idea and will register at Tiffany's on your next birthday.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Dec 13, 2013
1 What? No mention of child porn or him being a molester? I agree, let her meet the dude and when she realized his sheit stinks just like hers, the glamor will wear off.

2 When your husband is asleep, throw a raccoon on his face.

3 Your sister is an idiot, and raising a brood of entitled brats. Give them math books.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#3 Dec 13, 2013
2- Wow, ALL your kids were rebellious. You obviously had a parenting fail somewhere.

3- Registries for Christmas gifts are ridiculous. And I'm someone who hates Christmas shopping. I agree with Abby that you should register at Tiffany's for your birthday.
tiredofit

Los Angeles, CA

#4 Dec 13, 2013
Boy, if it's time to leave someone, this is the time. This is creepy scary. Someone hurting an animal for the fun of it.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#5 Dec 13, 2013
LW1: What Race said.

LW2: Why would you marry someone like that? What a terrible role model.

LW3: I'd prefer to get something that someone really wants ... makes my job much easier ... but I agree it's presumptuous.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#6 Dec 13, 2013
RACE wrote:
2 When your husband is asleep, throw a raccoon on his face.
LOL!!! Perfect!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Dec 13, 2013
Lw3: as a requirement, its a bad idea. As a helpful list of suggestions, its awesome. I take zero pride in trying to get the perfect gift. I'd rather you just tell me what you want

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 Dec 13, 2013
LW1: Have you thought about getting a private eye? Other than that, Abby's advice is good.

LW2: I don't think it's Miss Kitty that needs to find a new home.

LW3: So what are you objecting to? The way she asked or that your nieces/nephews took the time to make a christmas wish list?

Just to piss her off, buy a gift on the list, just not from Toys'r'us.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#9 Dec 13, 2013
LW1: Team Abby and squishymama; I was thinking "private detective" before I finished reading the letter. LW, you need to get on this ASAP, because I would bet the rent that your daughter's boyfriend is closer to 40 than he is 24. What exactly has he lied to you about? Where is her father? You know that you cannot allow your naive 17-year-old to seriously consider marrying someone that she has never met! Do you have any large, male friends or relatives that you can bring with you when you bust this guy? I seriously would not hesitate to tell him that this wedding is NOT going to happen.

LW2: Are you serious? OMG. Get a divorce or get your husband into anger management counseling. Cruelty to a defenseless animal who is your children's pet in inexcusable.

LW3: I think a registry for Christmas gifts for children makes as much sense as a wedding registry and should be treated the same way: as an aid for those who don't know what the gift recipients would like. The problem is that your sister *insists* that you choose from the registry. Ignore her. Whether or not you choose from the registry is entirely up to you.
edogxxx

Chicago, IL

#10 Dec 13, 2013
2- What's more important to a family? A father or a friggin cat? I love how Abby assumes the man must be a sociopath. Then attempts to turn the children against their father by advising the lw to trash and badmouth him.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#11 Dec 13, 2013
Do fathers torment and abuse their kids pets? I guess my father and I are failures.
edogxxx wrote:
2- What's more important to a family? A father or a friggin cat? I love how Abby assumes the man must be a sociopath. Then attempts to turn the children against their father by advising the lw to trash and badmouth him.
edogxxx

Chicago, IL

#12 Dec 13, 2013
RACE wrote:
Do fathers torment and abuse their kids pets? I guess my father and I are failures.
<quoted text>
Did I say they were supposed to?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#13 Dec 14, 2013
You tell me..Are they?
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Did I say they were supposed to?

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