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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Mar 14, 2013
DEAR AMY: My wife left me. I still live near her family. Her family has taken my side because she left me, even though she and I have tried our best to avoid the blame game.

Her 19-year-old niece started helping me out when I had my young sons on the weekend. We started having sex. I didn't seduce her. It just happened. I tried to stop, but we didn't.

There's a 14-year age difference between us. My ex-wife figured out what was going on and called me. Instead of being angry, she teased me at first and then said she was happy that I was with her niece.

Maybe my ex and I are a little too civilized. We were never all that passionate about each other, which led to my ex finding someone else.

Her niece and I have been very passionate, but I wonder if it's the dark, taboo side that is the basis of the attraction. Now she wants to move in with me. When she told her mother, her mom took her to Victoria's Secret to celebrate.

I want an objective opinion. Are we nuts?-- Worried

DEAR WORRIED: There are children involved in your tawdry tale. Every choice you make should be for their benefit.

There is no such thing as being "too civilized," but you and your ex might be playing a mind game with each other.

This family seems to be pushing the two of you together (the mother taking your young lover to Victoria's Secret to celebrate your relationship is icky).

You have the freedom to have a sexual relationship with anyone; what you mustn't do is involve the kids in what is potentially a very messy situation. When this relationship cools (and it will), you will face the prospect of alienating your kids' extended family.

Whatever you choose, do not cohabit. You should explore your ability to have a relationship without leaping (or being pressured) into a domestic commitment.

DEAR AMY: I am a 17-year-old girl in high school. I am also gay.

I have a good friend that I have known since elementary school. I have a crush on her, and I don't quite know how to tell her how I feel. She gives mixed signals. She doesn't know that I'm gay. If I say the wrong thing, it could seriously affect our friendship.-- Puzzled Friend

DEAR PUZZLED: If your friend doesn't know you are gay, the most obvious first step is to tell her. She may be sending out mixed signals, but you may also be misinterpreting her behavior. Telling her you have a crush on her without her knowing you are gay could be extremely confusing.

Once you disclose this to her, you should wait for a couple of weeks to see how she reacts to this news. She may be interested in having a different kind of relationship with you, but you should be prepared that she may not want this.

DEAR AMY: A young woman wrote to you about inviting cousins who are abusive bullies to her housewarming party.*I was in a similar situation with my wife's family.

*I would advise her to invite them. She should relax and let her husband run interference. They need to establish a signal so the husband knows when the cousins cross the line. At that time, the husband should quietly pull the cousins aside.

*In my case, the conversation went something like this: "I know you and (wife) are relatives, but I have watched silently for a few years as you have bullied, belittled and sexually harassed her. It might be OK to treat your cousin that way; but you are not going to treat my wife that way, especially in our home. If you can act like adults, you are welcome to stay. If not, I can show you out right now ... it's your choice. Are we understanding each other?" --*Step Up Husband

DEAR HUSBAND: If the wife cannot handle this confrontation on her own, I agree that her husband should be willing to step up.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#2 Mar 14, 2013
L1: I'm sure you both will be very happy in your double-wide.

L2: Having been a reader of advice columns for over 35 years, I have to say, seeing the change in the direction that the "I'm gay" letters have gone is heartwarming. And the advice givers have evolved, too. This is pretty cool.

L3: "abusive bullies"? Ridiculous.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Mar 14, 2013
LW1: She wants to F you? Fantastic. More power to you. She wants to move in? Oh, hell no. You don't need another mouth to feed.

LW2: "She gives mixed signals."
No. There are no mixed signals. She's not gay. She doesn't know you're gay.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 Mar 14, 2013
LW has something that family wants to keep- land, money, something. Certainly not brains

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#5 Mar 14, 2013
L1: Am I the only one who thinks "my wife's niece" translates to "my niece" and is completed icked out?

L2: What Tonka said.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Mar 14, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L1: Am I the only one who thinks "my wife's niece" translates to "my niece" and is completed icked out?
Not a blood relative. Hell, he's divorced. Not a relative at all. Just a hot 19 year old.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#7 Mar 14, 2013
1- Que the dueling banjos

2- Why is everyone gay lately?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#8 Mar 14, 2013
LW1: Thatís kind of strange all around, but you two are both adults.

LW2: What Amyís intern said.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#9 Mar 14, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Not a blood relative. Hell, he's divorced. Not a relative at all. Just a hot 19 year old.
Who says she's hot? I'm picturing a 200 pounder with three teeth.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 Mar 14, 2013
L1: I'm with Red and the Dog.

L2: Good advice. Two emotionally charged things -- coming out and telling someone you have romantic feelings for them. One thing at a time.

L3: I don't remember exactly the letter, but it's not a bad thing to have a spouse help if they can. I am a believer in speaking up yourself, especially someone in your own family, though.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#11 Mar 14, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Who says she's hot? I'm picturing a 200 pounder with three teeth.
I'm thinking it would be pretty easy to say "hell no" and not need Amby's advice if she was some ugly heifer.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#12 Mar 14, 2013
LW1: It's icky but you are an adult.

Don't live with her until there are no minor children for her to babysit.

LW2: Just tell her and go from there.

LW3: What's with the f*cking asterisks?
RACE

Fort Lauderdale, FL

#13 Mar 14, 2013
1 Some guys have all the luck. Your wife leaves you the house, and her smoking hot niece wants your salami. Xnay the moving in part, you have it all good right now, just keep it that way.

2 Invite her for a sleep over, then a pillow fight. You will get your answer.

3 Big tough guy huh? I have a couple of people in my office that I would love,love,love for you to say that stuff to. I would not be surprised of nobody bothered to call an ambulance afterwards either.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#14 Mar 14, 2013
L3. I don't like your vainglorious idea of muscle-flexing intimidation either.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#15 Mar 14, 2013
RACE wrote:
3 Big tough guy huh? I have a couple of people in my office that I would love,love,love for you to say that stuff to. I would not be surprised of nobody bothered to call an ambulance afterwards either.
LOL

But if the LW is black, wouldn't your office colleagues be terrified of him?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#16 Mar 14, 2013
1. What trailer park do you live in?

2. It's really not tht hard to put out feelers.

3. You should have your own therapy talk show on the WB.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#17 Mar 14, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm thinking it would be pretty easy to say "hell no" and not need Amby's advice if she was some ugly heifer.
Standards are pretty low in the trailer park.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#18 Mar 14, 2013
anyone else want to know how the convo/confrontation went in LW3?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#19 Mar 14, 2013
Aisle Sitter wrote:
anyone else want to know how the convo/confrontation went in LW3?
Since he didn't really share that part, I am left wondering if it didn't work so well but he's not gonna brag about THAT part.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#20 Mar 14, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW1: She wants to F you? Fantastic. More power to you. She wants to move in? Oh, hell no. You don't need another mouth to feed.
LW2: "She gives mixed signals."
No. There are no mixed signals. She's not gay. She doesn't know you're gay.
We are on the same wavelength today. I totally agree x2.

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