“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#21 Apr 18, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Insurance benefits
??? If you were not ready to get married despite the fact that it would get your partner insurance benefits before you got yor deployment papers, why does getting deployed change that?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#22 Apr 18, 2014
Toj wrote:
I agree with Edog -- insurance benefits. Also, salary goes up if you're married. Also, death benefits.
Are all enlisted eligible for this marriage pay increase? Or just those being deployed. I'm guessing its all. Feel free to correct me. With that understanding, would YOU, the civilian, get married to get a pay increase? Would that be a deciding factor in making a lifelong commitment? It wouldn't for me. I don't see why it would be different for the enlisted. And to get married as you ship off? To get a pay increase you could have gotten any other time but didn't because you were not ready to be married? Sorry, the pay increase does not sound like a good reason to get married before shipping off either.

Death benefits. How many of you are dating and not ready to get married, but have taken out an insurance policy on yourself and named your significant other as the beneficiary? Don't be shy. Raise your hands hight in the air so I can see them? So far I count zero hands. So why is it a good idea for an enlisted person?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#23 Apr 18, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Some of the reasons that I recall guys in college talking about before they were shipped out to VietNam include making sure the girl friend got the life insurance if he was killed, having some one other than parents to officially make decisions or come home to
i understand the reasons some have. I am questioning whether those are good reasons to get married when you otherwise would not have gitten married. I think they are not good reasons.

Getting married to have someone to come home to is not a guarantee that they will be there when you get home.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#24 Apr 18, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
i understand the reasons some have. I am questioning whether those are good reasons to get married when you otherwise would not have gitten married. I think they are not good reasons.
Tonka babe, a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. If there's a chance you won't be coming back, you'd want your girl to be taken care of. Hey, you can always get divorced later

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#25 Apr 18, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>i understand the reasons some have. I am questioning whether those are good reasons to get married when you otherwise would not have gitten married. I think they are not good reasons.
Getting married to have someone to come home to is not a guarantee that they will be there when you get home.
Not t you.

But for some people formalization of a relationship makes a difference even if there is nothing guarantied as permanent.

Keep in mind that my experience predates cell phones, Skype and vacations from deployment

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#26 Apr 18, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>i understand the reasons some have. I am questioning whether those are good reasons to get married when you otherwise would not have gitten married. I think they are not good reasons.
Getting married to have someone to come home to is not a guarantee that they will be there when you get home.
We're not necessarily saying they're GOOD reasons, just reasons.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#27 Apr 18, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Are all enlisted eligible for this marriage pay increase? Or just those being deployed. I'm guessing its all. Feel free to correct me. With that understanding, would YOU, the civilian, get married to get a pay increase? Would that be a deciding factor in making a lifelong commitment? It wouldn't for me. I don't see why it would be different for the enlisted. And to get married as you ship off? To get a pay increase you could have gotten any other time but didn't because you were not ready to be married? Sorry, the pay increase does not sound like a good reason to get married before shipping off either.
Death benefits. How many of you are dating and not ready to get married, but have taken out an insurance policy on yourself and named your significant other as the beneficiary? Don't be shy. Raise your hands hight in the air so I can see them? So far I count zero hands. So why is it a good idea for an enlisted person?
Heck no I wouldn't. Plenty of people who do things for reasons we don't agree with. Most of the Abby and Amy letters prove that.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#28 Apr 18, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
We're not necessarily saying they're GOOD reasons,
Actually, you were. This conversation was spawned by chel saying she wished less enlisted people got married. I agreed. P said there were good reasons to get married before deployment. I asked for examples. I've then explained why i think none of the examples given are GOOD reasons.

Cool you agree with me. No one's given any GOOD reasons.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#29 Apr 18, 2014
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Heck no I wouldn't. Plenty of people who do things for reasons we don't agree with. Most of the Abby and Amy letters prove that.
but you gave that as an example of a GOOD reason to get married before deployment. But you're pretty strong in stating you would not do it. Why is it good for them and not even close to good for you?

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#30 Apr 18, 2014
Military relationships are completely different from civilian relationships and you can't say what you would do in that situation unless you factor in everything that comes with military life. When someone is deployed, they cannot talk to their partner whenever they feel like it. They are under a great deal of constant stress and he last thing they need to worry about is the state of their relationship.

Military spouses get a level of support on the base that girlfriends/boyfriends do not always have access to (whether officially or because they are treated like outsiders).

When they return from active duty, many service people have a hard time adjusting to life back in the US, regardless of marital status. For some, it helps to have a stable, committed relationship to keep them grounded. For others, that makes the adjustment harder.

I think that military spouses are a special kind of amazing and we don't give them enough credit.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#31 Apr 18, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>i understand the reasons some have. I am questioning whether those are good reasons to get married when you otherwise would not have gitten married. I think they are not good reasons.
Getting married to have someone to come home to is not a guarantee that they will be there when you get home.
I agree most wouldn't get married if there was no deployment in the picture.
I hate to say it but I think it's more women. They want the easy ride and get knocked up and prey on a military man's emotions. I've heard it a lot sadly

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#32 Apr 18, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
No one's given any GOOD reasons.
Tonka sweetie, a "good" reason for others may not be a "good" reason for you. But it works for them

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#33 Apr 18, 2014
cheluzal wrote:
I hate to say it but I think it's more women. They want the easy ride and get knocked up and prey on a military man's emotions.
Now that's just unfair. Most women act this way be they military wives or not

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#34 Apr 18, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>but you gave that as an example of a GOOD reason to get married before deployment. But you're pretty strong in stating you would not do it. Why is it good for them and not even close to good for you?
Those idiots DO think those are good reasons. Doesn't mean I personally believe it is a good reason.

So, it has to be a good reason to me? I'm not interested in getting married again and I sure as heck wouldn't marry some guy getting shipped off to Iraq.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#35 Apr 18, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
Military relationships are completely different from civilian relationships and you can't say what you would do in that situation unless you factor in everything that comes with military life. When someone is deployed, they cannot talk to their partner whenever they feel like it. They are under a great deal of constant stress and he last thing they need to worry about is the state of their relationship.
Military spouses get a level of support on the base that girlfriends/boyfriends do not always have access to (whether officially or because they are treated like outsiders).
When they return from active duty, many service people have a hard time adjusting to life back in the US, regardless of marital status. For some, it helps to have a stable, committed relationship to keep them grounded. For others, that makes the adjustment harder.
I think that military spouses are a special kind of amazing and we don't give them enough credit.
I can see that. Makes sense.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#36 Apr 19, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Now that's just unfair. Most women act this way be they military wives or not
Probably so!
I have no idea why any man would have unprotected sex with women nowadays, especially if you aren't picky about who you put your peen in. Women are evil.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#38 Apr 21, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
Military relationships are completely different from civilian relationships and you can't say what you would do in that situation unless you factor in everything that comes with military life. When someone is deployed, they cannot talk to their partner whenever they feel like it. They are under a great deal of constant stress and he last thing they need to worry about is the state of their relationship.
Military spouses get a level of support on the base that girlfriends/boyfriends do not always have access to (whether officially or because they are treated like outsiders).
When they return from active duty, many service people have a hard time adjusting to life back in the US, regardless of marital status. For some, it helps to have a stable, committed relationship to keep them grounded. For others, that makes the adjustment harder.
I think that military spouses are a special kind of amazing and we don't give them enough credit.
I had one family member that got married right before he deployed. His wife wanted his money and to be stationed in a better place than she was from. She even got him to buy her a nice new car before he left. When he came back, she was living with another guy and doing meth. Only reason she didn't sell all his stuff was because his brother caught wind of it and got a hold of it before she did.

I've seen it happen so many times. These young girls marry them because it's a meal ticket, they can live in gov't subsidized housing, have access to stuff on base and, when the guy deployes, they can live wild and fancy free, partying and fooling around and whatnot.

I am not saying it's ALL the time, but it does happen often. I dated a military guy and my close friend dated one at the same time and we'd see all these young couples on base and it was very much like that.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#39 Apr 21, 2014
Stina2 wrote:
<quoted text>I had one family member that got married right before he deployed. His wife wanted his money and to be stationed in a better place than she was from. She even got him to buy her a nice new car before he left. When he came back, she was living with another guy and doing meth. Only reason she didn't sell all his stuff was because his brother caught wind of it and got a hold of it before she did.

I've seen it happen so many times. These young girls marry them because it's a meal ticket, they can live in gov't subsidized housing, have access to stuff on base and, when the guy deployes, they can live wild and fancy free, partying and fooling around and whatnot.

I am not saying it's ALL the time, but it does happen often. I dated a military guy and my close friend dated one at the same time and we'd see all these young couples on base and it was very much like that.
I know that there are people like this, but not everyone is. My cousins from NC are all military. Their spouses all grew up in military families, too. They tend to marry quickly and early, because they understand the transience and potential brevity of military life.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#40 Apr 21, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
I know that there are people like this, but not everyone is. My cousins from NC are all military. Their spouses all grew up in military families, too. They tend to marry quickly and early, because they understand the transience and potential brevity of military life.
I agree. I have a relative who got married to her boyfriend, a marine, right after boot camp. They were married for over 20 years and had 2 kids.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#41 Apr 21, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
I know that there are people like this, but not everyone is. My cousins from NC are all military. Their spouses all grew up in military families, too. They tend to marry quickly and early, because they understand the transience and potential brevity of military life.
Obviously we're generalizing, and you come from good stock.
But generalities/stereotypes are derived from noticeable truths...

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 3 min Yeah 1,382,459
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 17 min SweLL GirL 8,376
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 29 min Mark Oakley 101,933
Politics? 55 min Ferretman 46
News Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 1 hr tina anne 59,451
Hillary's History 1 hr Screech in hell 57
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 1 hr Dr Guru 214,282
More from around the web

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages