“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Nov 3, 2013
DEAR AMY: I’m a freshman in high school. So far, my experience hasn’t been that great. I’ve been so stressed out and had to go to the doctor several times because the stress is causing me to have bad headaches.

Since starting high school, I’ve had breakdowns that I’ve never ever had before.
I’ve looked into home schooling/online schooling and learned it isn’t bad. I’m afraid of asking or even bringing up home schooling to my parents because I feel they might laugh and say it’s a very stupid idea since I’m just a freshman or that they want me to have the “high school experience” they did. What do I do? Please help me!-- Stressed Freshman

DEAR STRESSED: Before dropping out of school entirely, you will need to notify all of the adults in your life about what is really going on with you, so that they can work together (and with you) to arrive at strategies for you to cope.

If you are too afraid to go to your parents, you should start with another trusted adult (your school counselor and/or another friend or relative). There might be ways for you to adjust your school schedule for this year so it’s a little easier on you. After-school groups or activities might give you a needed outlet.

You should also have a thorough checkup by your physician to see if some physical problems might be at the root of some of your symptoms. A compassionate counselor could help you sort this out and give you tools for dealing with stress and anxiety in the future.

DEAR AMY: When I got engaged last year, my now-husband and I went to visit his parents. His mother was gracious enough to present me with a lovely 2-carat diamond ring from her safe deposit box.

She said she wanted me to have it because I love her son. I was thrilled because it meant acceptance into the family. I wore it every day, proud of the bond I share with my husband and new family.

Unfortunately, six months ago I took it to get cleaned by a jeweler, who informed me that the diamond ring I loved so much was a fake. I was shocked.

His parents are coming to visit next month. What shall I say when she doesn’t see me wearing her ring? I don’t want to seem like an ingrate and hurt her feelings, but at the same time I can’t feel as proud of this ring as I once did and have stopped wearing it because I don’t wish to go around accepting people’s compliments on it.

My husband says we will handle it when she visits and that surely she is unaware of the problem. I’m disappointed with the situation (and in him too), but he doesn’t seem to think it’s that big of a deal, saying a happy marriage is what’s important, not a piece of jewelry. Advice?-- Disappointed

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: My first recommendation is for you to get a second opinion from another jeweler — and bring your husband with you.

His mother should be told about this; it could have ramifications for her in other ways (she might need to get other pieces of jewelry professionally appraised). She may be embarrassed, but be honest, calm and understanding.

Frankly, you do sound a little bit like an ingrate; this situation is no one’s fault, and, real or fake, the ring still symbolizes (or should symbolize) the exact same thing it did when it was presented to you.

DEAR AMY: More on unequal wills: I was on the nonreceiving end of my mother’s will because my husband and I were financially very comfortable and my brother was strapped for money with children to support.

You are correct, it wasn’t about the money. Her siblings desperately tried to talk her into dividing her will equally between my brother and me, but she wouldn’t listen. I hate that the wonderful woman who raised me now has left a bitter feeling in my heart. I do know that I will never do that to my children no matter what their circumstances are.-- EM

DEAR EM: Wise solution.
liner

Brooklyn, NY

#2 Nov 3, 2013
L1. Drama queen. Grow up.
L2. Interesting letter. Wear it when she visits. Otherwise forget it. And then perhaps the MIL knew exactly what she gave to her. Hmmmmmm.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#3 Nov 3, 2013
1- Get pregnant

2- Wear it anyway, you goddam ingrate!

3- You're mad and bitter because your mother didn't leave you money you didn't need, and instead gave it to your brother and his children who did? Screw off, you are a pathetic POS!
tiredofit

Los Angeles, CA

#4 Nov 3, 2013
L2: Agree with you liner. I thought it very odd that she would give the young lady a 2 caret diamond when they have just barely gotten to know each other.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#5 Nov 3, 2013
LW1: I was invited to play the graduation music for one of our local alternative schools. All of the graduates spoke so fondly of the school and said that they would not have been able to succeed in a regular school. Look into this solution rather than home schooling.

LW2: Do you really want to open this can of worms? If she is unaware that the ring is a fake (and DO get that second opinion), can you imagine how she will feel, having secured it in her safety deposit box for so long? I have heard of unscrupulous jewelers replacing valuable stones with fakes when they "clean" a ring, perhaps that is the explanation. Or not. I say, accept it and wear it proudly and allow your husband to buy you another ring or other jewelry. Your relationship with your husband and your in-laws is more valuable than gold and diamonds.

LW3: I totally agree that uneven wills are horrid.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#6 Nov 3, 2013
LW1 - Stopped reading after the high school part.

LW2 - So, you were excited at the gift because it meant acceptance to the family, not because it would cost something like 5 grand or more. Now that you found out that it's cubic zirconia and the price sticker is 80 bucks, you won't even wear it? Now it doesn't mean that you've been accepted to the family? You ARE an ingrate.

LW3 - Okay. I get it. When I am about to kick the bucket, if I have anything to leave my kids, I shouldn't leave more to one that the other. I get it now, but who would have guessed that that might possibly hurt people's feelings? Huh. You learn something new every day.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#7 Nov 3, 2013
1: Aww, did you expect a trophy just for showing up?
It's this pansy society we are raising now, and it infuriates me. Grrr.....
Suck it up and deal, or you'll be too stressed at your first job, and then my taxes will go for your bogus disability.

2: Bah-leave it alone. Wear it on visits--or not. Really go all out and say you had it insured and it's in a safety deposit box.

3: It's the principle. Helping out differently when all are alive is one thing; to shaft an entire offspring in favor of one who might have made porrer choices is rude.

My parents are whack but I can say they have been very good about keeping things even. Now, without bro, I'm sole heir but dad is really gathering as much life insurance as he can, and I have strict orders on taking care of both grandmoms and my nieces. I will take that seriously.

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