Abby 11-16

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“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Nov 16, 2012
 
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Richard," and I are a mature couple who have been seeing each other for three years. I love him. My dog is the issue.

"Princess" is a 2-year-old rat terrier/mini-pinscher mix. She weighs 9 pounds and is spoiled.(I admit I'm a softy when it comes to discipline.) She barks at anyone and anything she sees. Her barks are shrill and can be annoying. But I live alone and feel she is protecting me.

Richard can no longer tolerate Princess' barking and has curbed his visits considerably. Except for this issue, he is my dream guy, and I feel lucky to have found him. I was married for more than 20 years to a controlling man, and I had to defer or compromise on everything. I will not compromise on this. I feel Richard should understand my attachment to Princess, especially when he's not around.

I miss him. Our dates are now only occasional. He thinks I prefer the dog over him, and that's not the case. Am I being selfish? Why can't I have them both? Is there a future for us, or have we reached an impasse?-- WON'T GIVE UP THE PUP, LAFAYETTE, LA.

DEAR WON'T GIVE UP: Loving one's dog is not being selfish. You could have them both if you would contact a dog trainer and start giving Princess a doggy education that includes boundaries. Incessant barking should not be allowed.

Perhaps once Richard sees that Princess no longer regards him as a hostile intruder, he will feel more welcome. But that could take some work on the part of all three of you, if he's still willing.

DEAR ABBY: My grandpa remarried when I was a child. He and Grandma "Ella" each have five children. She is a wonderful woman.

When the holidays roll around, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, my grandparents always host at their home. They spend all day fixing up the house and preparing the food. When it's time to eat, Grandma Ella's children think they should be first in the line. If someone else tries (some of us on my grandfather's side of the family have small children), they grumble and complain.

When the dinner is over, it's always my mom, one of my two aunts and me doing the dishes and cleaning up. Grandma Ella's family never help. They just stroll back into the living room and watch TV or leave to go somewhere else. It would be nice to get some help once in a while so Mom, my aunts and I could also relax after the meal. Just leaving the mess is not an option. We tried it once, and Grandma and Grandpa ended up doing it. Any advice?-- STRESSED IN ADVANCE IN IOWA

DEAR STRESSED: Gladly! This Thanksgiving when everyone arrives, Grandma and Grandpa should cheerfully inform the happy revelers that small children will be fed first, regardless of whose side of the family they come from. At the same time, each of the adults should be assigned a cleanup chore so one side of the family isn't stuck with the entire burden. Unless your grandparents assert themselves, nothing will change, so please suggest this to them in advance.

DEAR ABBY: When a man is married, who is supposed to come first in his life -- his wife or his mother?-- TIRED OF BEING SECOND STRING

DEAR TIRED: At the risk of sounding preachy, the Scripture says a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. As much as a man may love his mother, in order to have a strong and healthy marriage, his wife should come first if he must make a choice.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#2
Nov 16, 2012
 
1 Muzzle and Chuck that little rat dog into another room when your stud comes over.

2 But it's tradition!

3 No matter who wrote this, the son is the idiot.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

United States

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#3
Nov 16, 2012
 
1- Control your dog, you dumb btch, or "princess" might have an "accident."

2- Her children expect to be "first in line?" In my family it's every man for himself as soon as the food's ready. Have everyone take a number next time.

3- It's all about perspective. If mom's having a heart attack and wife wants to go purse shopping, mom comes first.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

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#4
Nov 16, 2012
 
LW1: Dog training.

LW2: Be careful when you pick your battles.

LW3: The wife comes ahead of mom, but after the mistress.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#5
Nov 16, 2012
 
L1: I'll be the first to admit that my dogs could be better disciplined, but I cannot stand excessive barking...gah. I don't blame him. Take that thing to some obedience classes.

L2: Why isn't your step granny handling her piggish kids?

L3: Herp derp derp. Depends. Do you want your marriage to last?

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#6
Nov 16, 2012
 

Judged:

1

1

1 People that put their dogs ahead of people are always going to find someone to gripe about. I love my dog, but she'd be gone in an instant if she was a barrier to relationships.

2 And you kept your mouth shut after 1 time of this crap? Welcome to Doormat USA, population: you

3 Sorry Mom!

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#7
Nov 16, 2012
 
L1: Whether or not the guy wants to stick around, get the dog some training. You'll be happier, too.

L2: Talk to granny ahead of time but be prepared for nothing to change. Talk to your kids ahead of time. It's now time for your kids to learn b/c someone is rude they should not be rude back. Life is full of rude people -- you can't let it ruin your day.

L3: Are you for real?

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

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#8
Nov 16, 2012
 
LW1 - not a dog person, but there's a difference between barking at every little thing and being protective... good training can help.

iknow 2 different labradors who bring and prensent every visitor their lovey. one has an old seat cushion (no idea how he got that), and it's beyond gross. the other has a stuffed animal, and the parents got several and rotate new ones in when the current one gets gross. both families warn guests and tell tehm to say thanks. once the dogs hear the acknowledgemetn, they leave people alone. that's what training can do.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#9
Nov 16, 2012
 
L1: So it has taken three years for this dog to get on his nerves? Both issues - dog training and how he feels about the dog - should have been addressed long ago.

L2: I don't care one bit.

L3: You're an idiot.

Since: Jan 10

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#10
Nov 16, 2012
 
L1: I bet you were as wonderful a mother as you are a dog owner.

L2: I'm always first in line whenever food is involved. I've been asked to go first to get people going -- no one wants to be first in line, but I don't mind at all!

L3: If you have to ask, the guy's a dick.
Julie

Skokie, IL

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#11
Nov 16, 2012
 
LW2: Grandma Ella's family are selfish jerks. And she's enabling/encouraging them. She may not be as "wonderful" as you think.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

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#12
Nov 16, 2012
 
Julie wrote:
LW2: Grandma Ella's family are selfish jerks. And she's enabling/encouraging them. She may not be as "wonderful" as you think.
Or, like the rest of us, she can't pick her relatives

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