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1 - 20 of 23 Comments Last updated Feb 4, 2013
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dahgts

Chicago, IL

#1 Feb 1, 2013
DEAR ABBY: A great man once said, "A life without love is no life at all." So many people find love in so many ways, either through arranged marriages or at social events, school or college.

I have always been a hopeless romantic, but since the end of my eight-year relationship, my heart no longer feels the same. I feel as though love will never find me.

I know people say when it happens you will know, but my question is: How do you really know? And when that time does ever come, how do you prepare your heart for love after a tragic loss?-- TRYING TO GO ON

DEAR TRYING: I'm sorry for your loss and heartache. But unless your lover was wrenched from you by death, you should do what people of both sexes must when a romance ends -- ask yourself why and what you have learned from it.

The failure of a romance doesn't mean that love will never happen again. You will know you have found love when you meet someone who makes you feel strong instead of dependent, who appreciates you for the person you are and isn't threatened by your successes, who supports you when you're down, takes pride in your accomplishments, and will hug you even after a difficult day. And it shouldn't take "preparation," just a willingness to risk putting yourself out there and a little good luck.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live more than 1,000 miles away from our family. When our relatives fly out to visit us, should we feel obligated to let them use one of our cars to travel/tour while they are here?(Money is not an issue.) In most cases, they may be on the other side of the state for several days, leaving my husband and me to share a car. It is an inconvenience because my husband and I leave for work at different times.
However, this isn't my only concern. Will insurance cover our car if they have an accident in it?

When we visit them, we drive their car within city limits only, and when it's convenient for them. Please reply ASAP because they're coming here soon.-- STRESSED OUT IN COLORADO

DEAR STRESSED OUT: Because money is not an issue, I assume that your relatives can afford to rent a car during their visit. The same rules should apply to them that apply to you in a similar situation. Your car should be for your own convenience, since you and your husband need transportation to work.

As to the insurance liability should someone have an accident while driving your vehicle, the person to ask is your insurance broker.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who recently remarried. He has always said that what he and his late wife worked for should go to their children. However, I have just learned that his prenup wasn't signed until after their marriage. Also, it was drawn up by an accountant, not a lawyer.

I always thought that a prenup was an agreement to specific conditions before a marriage. Am I right, and is a prenup valid if it is signed after the wedding?-- CURIOUS IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR CURIOUS: A document like the one you have described is called a postnuptial agreement. It should have been drafted by your friend's attorney, then reviewed by an attorney representing the wife to be sure she fully understood what she was signing. If she did not, then it may not be legal and enforceable.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#3 Feb 1, 2013
As to the insurance liability should someone have an accident while driving your vehicle, the person to ask is your insurance broker.

Insurance broker? How quaint.

Ah, would that be Geico's gecko with the Aussie accent or Allstate's Mayhem guy?

Insurance follows the car. That's why owners of cars get sued when someone driving has an accident even if teh owner is nowhere around.

Post-nups can be valid, but why are you asking this on behalf of a "dear friend" who is now remarried? And more to the point, what will you do with the information once you find out?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Feb 1, 2013
LW1: Go look for answers at the bottom of a whiskey bottle and stop clogging up my column.

LW2: Let them use your car and you guys have to share? During the week while you have to go to work? Oh, hell no. Delta gets you there, and when you get there, Avis is waiting.

LW3: You see moverly concerned over who gets your friend's stuff. Nunya.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Feb 1, 2013
L1: I put "hopeless romantic" near the "soul mate" phrase. Meaningless. And probably detrimental to your attempt to find happiness with someone.

L2: No way would I give up my car if I needed it. They can get a rental.

L3: Why do you care so much about this? If you were curious, why would you ask someone who isn't a lawyer? Go online and find the answer.
cjzag

New York, NY

#6 Feb 1, 2013
PEllen - just wanted to say the Geico gecko has an English accent. Not Aussie. Just sayin'.

LW1: there are a lot of stupid things that "great men" say. "A life with no love is no life at all"? There are more kinds of love than the romantic kind. Grow up already.

LW2: You're asking an advice columnist about your insurance policy? Seriously?

LW3: Are you thinking that you want a pre- or post-nup agreement yourself? Otherwise, why on earth do you care?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7 Feb 1, 2013
LW1: First, you can stop being so depressed and negative about your possibilities. You sound miserable. How can you expect to attract a mate, when misery permeates your life. Get yourself in a better, happy place, and then worry about love. You owe it to your potential mate and yourself to come into the relationship with a good foundation.

LW2: Ask your insurance broker about coverage. Also, you should have nipped this arrangement in the bud, the first time they asked and told them, you each need your own car to get to work. Going forward, I would do the same.

LW3: MYOB.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#8 Feb 1, 2013
PEllen wrote:
Insurance broker? How quaint.
Ah, would that be Geico's gecko with the Aussie accent or Allstate's Mayhem guy?
Haha! Great point.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#9 Feb 1, 2013
"...since the end of my eight-year relationship, my heart no longer feels the same. I feel as though love will never find me."

Geez. At least I'm not like this in the wake of MY 8-year relationship ending.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#10 Feb 1, 2013
LW1: Here's some better advice: "In this world, there is someone for everyone. But until you meet that person, relax and enjoy the company of the people you happen to meet."

I got this advice (and followed it) the night I met my husband.

LW2: Why in the f*ck are you asking Abby about what your insurance covers?!

It must be the same reason you're too stupid to rent these people their own car, since money is no issue.

LW3: How is this any of your business?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#11 Feb 1, 2013
L1: I agree -- this LW needs to grow up and be more mature. Please!

L2: I'm willing to certainly help friends and family when visiting but they can't have the car I use.

L3: Is the LW perhaps female and her friend is a male who married. Perhaps this female friend would have married him if she could have gotten her mitts on his money. I can't imagine another reason why this person wants to know.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#12 Feb 1, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
Geez. At least I'm not like this in the wake of MY 8-year relationship ending.
Phew! I thought you might be the LW.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#13 Feb 1, 2013
cjzag wrote:
PEllen - just wanted to say the Geico gecko has an English accent. Not Aussie. Just sayin'.
Who cares? It's another foreigner taking an American's job.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#14 Feb 1, 2013
See! Someone always has it worse.
j_m_w wrote:
"...since the end of my eight-year relationship, my heart no longer feels the same. I feel as though love will never find me."
Geez. At least I'm not like this in the wake of MY 8-year relationship ending.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#15 Feb 1, 2013
Ok, thats funny.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Who cares? It's another foreigner taking an American's job.
Sam I Am

Chicago, IL

#16 Feb 1, 2013
1. Wow, by your attitude you are doing everything to make sure it doesn't happen. Bottom line: you can't force it. If you really want something good, let it happen naturally.

2. Regarding the insurance, it follows the car, so yes, you are covered. That doesn't mean you don't get to tell them once in awhile that you cannot be without your car for days at a time.

3. And it's your place to worry about this why?
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#17 Feb 1, 2013
LW1: Romantic love happens when you least expect it, and like Sublime said, when you are in a happy, contented state of mind, you are more likely to attract another happy, contented person. Worry less and enjoy the gift of each day of life.

LW2: Only once have my hosts loaned me a car to drive. We were in Hawaii, and Hawaiian people are extemely gracious. Also, they worked for one of the resorts and had another car to use, so it didn't inconvenience them. I was overwhelmed by their generosity. But I was somewhat uncomfortable driving it because I was worried that something would happen to the car.

I would drive your guests to the nearest car rental place so that they can rent a car while they are visiting.

LW3: Somebody is worried that the money will go to the second wife and not the kids from the first marriage. This is what wills are for. Encourage your friend to make one.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#18 Feb 1, 2013
For some reason, I just hear Phil Collins in my head as the gecko's voice.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#19 Feb 1, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Phew! I thought you might be the LW.
I have my moments, but holy cow. I don't even snivel to you guys like this LW.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#20 Feb 1, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW1: Here's some better advice: "In this world, there is someone for everyone. But until you meet that person, relax and enjoy the company of the people you happen to meet."
I do disagree with this statement, though. there is not necessarily someone for everyone. There just isn't. And that's OK.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#21 Feb 1, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
I do disagree with this statement, though. there is not necessarily someone for everyone. There just isn't. And that's OK.
But the LW still needs to relax. She will never meet anybody with this hopeless romantic crap.

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