Abby 3-14

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“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Mar 14, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: I need help and don't know where to turn. I am divorced and have a 37-year-old son, "Teddy," who has never married and has no children. He lives on his own except when he's in trouble or has nowhere else to go. Then he moves back in with me.

The problem is my son is a liar and has been ever since he was a teenager. He even lies when telling the truth would be better. I punished him every way I knew how when he was growing up. Nothing worked.

Teddy has been in trouble with the law in the past and is now in trouble again. Of course, he says he's innocent. I got him out on bond and offered to get him help. I also told him there would be no more money from me, and I no longer want to hear his lies.

Another problem: Teddy is extremely good-looking and women swoon over him. He ends up using them and then dumping them, and then they call me.

I don't know why he is the way he is. Is there treatment for people who can't tell the truth? Please tell me what to do. I love my son and it breaks my heart to see him do these bad things.-- BROKENHEARTED MOTHER IN TEXAS

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: As much as you love Teddy, it's time to accept that you can't fix what's wrong with him; only he can do that. It won't happen until he finally has to accept the consequences of his bad behavior.

Taking him in and bailing him out is not the answer. It also helps no one when you have long conversations with the women who call you, so protect yourself by cutting them short. Considering the kind of man your son is, thank your lucky stars that he has no children -- yet.

DEAR ABBY: My father recently moved to an apartment with no storage and I was left with 10 large boxes of memorabilia. Going through these boxes brought many tears of remembrance and new insights into the lives of my parents and grandparents.

My problem now is what to do with these things; I can scan photos and letters, but what about Great-Grandma's wedding dress (stained and moth-eaten), Mother's christening gown (too frail to use again) and the dear soft curl of hair from my uncle who died in childhood?

I don't have much storage room, and I'm not certain my children would even care about these things. Yet it doesn't seem right to throw them in the garbage. I wonder what other people do with treasured items that have no value beyond sentiment.-- SOFT HEART/PRACTICAL HEAD IN TACOMA

DEAR SOFT HEART: Do not automatically assume that your children would have no interest in the contents of those 10 boxes. Ask them. However, if they say no, then contact the state historical society or a local theater troupe and inquire if they would have any interest. You may be pleasantly surprised to find some of the items would be welcomed.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are having a disagreement about laundry. When you buy new clothes that are still in the plastic wrapping, should they be washed before they are worn?-- JIM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR JIM: It's a personal choice. Some garment manufacturers recommend that certain items be laundered before wearing. However, if they don't, I don't!

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#2
Mar 14, 2013
 

Judged:

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LW1: Stop bailing him out. Let him sink or swim on his own. And why are his female conquests calling you? Sounds like you are way too involved in his life since these don't sound like long term gf's.

LW2: Trash.

LW3: According to county code section 453, subsection a, line 72,
"you are a moron if you think there is a universal answer to a subjective question such as this".

Since: Jan 10

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#3
Mar 14, 2013
 

Judged:

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L1: Sounds like you've been bailing him out his whole life. Why stop now?(I"m surprised this guy has no kids; I'd think he'd have a whole flock of them scattered about.)

L2: For a generation or two, that's memorabilia. After that, it's garbage. Toss it all. THe historical society wants things in GOOD condition, not your junk.

L3: YES YES YES. Clothing, like many textiles, are treated with chemicals, including formaldehyde, in order to reduce wrinkling during the storage and shipping process. Wash them.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#4
Mar 14, 2013
 
L1: Ugh.

L2: Toss them. Theater troupe? Really?

L3: I only wash bathing suits and underwear before wearing them, everything else is fair game once the tags are off.
pde

Schaumburg, IL

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#5
Mar 14, 2013
 

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LW3: Much of the clothing available in the US nowadays is made in factories in Asia, and treated with pesticides as part of the manufacturing process so they don't grow mold or mildew on the slow, non-climate-controlled freight boats across the Pacific.

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

United States

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#6
Mar 14, 2013
 
1- Yeah, why are his ex's calling you? Hey, use it to your advantage, start hittin on that, they sound desperate for a man anyway.

2- Donation box, let someone else deal with them. Ange is right, the historical society isn't gonna want a bunch of moth-eaten crap.

3- I have never washed anything and I'm alive and well with no rashes. I also eat off of new silverware and plates and mugs without washing them first.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#7
Mar 14, 2013
 

Judged:

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LW1: Stop enabling him and donít be so involved in his life such that his exs are calling you.

LW2: Pitch it.

LW3: Whatever you like. I prefer my stuff washed.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#8
Mar 14, 2013
 
LW1: I'm sure some professional psychiatric assistance would help a sh!tload more than Abby's advice.

LW2: Historical societies are inundated with this kind of cr*p. You'd have better luck with the theaters.

Some of it could be preserved and framed if you're so inclined. The old baptism gown could make good wall art for a baby's room. The little curl too.

BTW, we have a box full of stuff similar to this. Several envelopes with curls from first hair cuts, cancelled checks, business cards, etc. My mom recently went through it and tossed most of it. She plans on framing the cooler business cards for her guest room.

LW3: I was on Team jmw, but after reading what Red and pde have to say, I might be chaning my mind. Especially for the kids' clothes.
RACE

Fort Lauderdale, FL

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#9
Mar 14, 2013
 

Judged:

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1 If he is that good looking, he is gonna be really popular in prison.

2 Offer it up to the heirs, and pitch whatever is left.

3 I always wash them because the feel stiff if I dont.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#10
Mar 14, 2013
 
L1: You'd think this guy is 14 and not 37. He needs to see a psychologist, psychiatrist and probably his parole/probation officer. You need to exit out of handling his life.

L2: Eh, you'd be surprised what's worth money. Some people think things are junk and it turns out they threw a very valuable antique away. Textiles can be worth money and there are restorers. I'd call the historical society, it can't hurt.

L3: What Tonka said.

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#11
Mar 14, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
3 I always wash them because the feel stiff if I dont.
That's how I want my dress shirts to feel. I want them to hold their form.
pde

Schaumburg, IL

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#12
Mar 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>That's how I want my dress shirts to feel. I want them to hold their form.
Send them to the dry cleaners to be cleaned and ask for them to be starched.

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#13
Mar 14, 2013
 
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Send them to the dry cleaners to be cleaned and ask for them to be starched.
Sure. But I'm saying fresh out of the package it my desired shirt stiffness. So washing them first is counter productive.
RACE

Fort Lauderdale, FL

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#14
Mar 14, 2013
 
Yeah, but you also get those horizontal creases from the packaging. So easy to spot someone who just took it out of the plastic and threw it on.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Sure. But I'm saying fresh out of the package it my desired shirt stiffness. So washing them first is counter productive.
pde

Schaumburg, IL

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#15
Mar 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Sure. But I'm saying fresh out of the package it my desired shirt stiffness. So washing them first is counter productive.
Well, shirts straight out of the packaging either do have sizing or starch in them already to make them look pretty and stay unwrinkled during shipping.

It's all the other stuff they have straight out of the package too that you might have to worry about ...

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#16
Mar 14, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Yeah, but you also get those horizontal creases from the packaging. So easy to spot someone who just took it out of the plastic and threw it on.
<quoted text>
You'll rarely find me in a dress shirt without a suit. And you'll rarely find me in a suit. Suit jacket hides the creases well enough for me.

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#17
Mar 14, 2013
 
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, shirts straight out of the packaging either do have sizing or starch in them already to make them look pretty and stay unwrinkled during shipping.
It's all the other stuff they have straight out of the package too that you might have to worry about ...
Checmical schmemical. I ain't scared.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#18
Mar 14, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Checmical schmemical. I ain't scared.
Word. I've made it this far wearing formaldehyde and stuff, I'm good.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#19
Mar 14, 2013
 
And the thought process behind washing bathing suits and underwear is to get other people's cooties off stuff that touches my lady parts. I really never thought about chemicals.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#20
Mar 14, 2013
 
1. Enable much? If you told him no more help, stick to it. As for women coming to you after he dumps them, he's a grown ass man and they're grown ass women, they should not be coming to you. Of course, if he's such a scumbag, the kind of women he is going to be able to use are the kind that will go crying to his daddy instead of admitting they got took.

2. Email to all, tell them they have X amount of time to come look through stuff before it is discarded, and if one of them wants to step up and pay for storage or store it themselves, it's up to them.

3. Why wouldn't you. The bigger question is why do you two maroons quibble about something so trivial? You're having a disagreement? This is an ongoing thing? Sheesh.

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