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Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#21 Nov 15, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
If you're going to call her a "floozy," you need to find an equally pejorative term for him. HE is the one that had an obligation to his wife. HE is the bigger doosh.
We have a lot of names for women who behave badly and few for men.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#22 Nov 16, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
We have a lot of names for women who behave badly and few for men.
Yes, and the ones for men aren't nearly as offensive and generally (exceptions: dick, prickÖ) refer to body parts that dehumanize a person. I'm sorry, but "cad" and "player" don't quite have the offensiveness level as the C word, the W word, etc.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#23 Nov 17, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>Yes, and the ones for men aren't nearly as offensive and generally (exceptions: dick, prick¬Ö) refer to body parts that dehumanize a person. I'm sorry, but "cad" and "player" don't quite have the offensiveness level as the C word, the W word, etc.
It only has as much offensiveness as you ascribe to it. Women tend to internalize things said about them more.

Same can be said of other groups. Was their outrage amongst white folks when two black men went "white face", in the movie "white chicks" and presumably (I say presumably, because I've never seen it) acted upon numerous sterotypes? If someone were to call me a cracker, I wouldn't be affected either.

I think it's more a sign of self-confidence and self assuredness, to not let what others say affect you so deeply, especially if they don't like you. Of course if someone doesn't like you or is upset with you, they probably aren't going to think positive or good things about you. Unless they are right about you, in which case you should probably reflect upon that and change your ways. and if appropriate apologize. If they are wrong, then I fail to see why it should affect someone so deeply.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#24 Nov 17, 2013
There really isn't much of a difference between d' and c'. They are the same side of different coins. Women just let it bother them more... Why give someone that power over you?
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#25 Nov 17, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
It only has as much offensiveness as you ascribe to it. Women tend to internalize things said about them more.
Same can be said of other groups. Was their outrage amongst white folks when two black men went "white face", in the movie "white chicks" and presumably (I say presumably, because I've never seen it) acted upon numerous sterotypes? If someone were to call me a cracker, I wouldn't be affected either.
I think it's more a sign of self-confidence and self assuredness, to not let what others say affect you so deeply, especially if they don't like you. Of course if someone doesn't like you or is upset with you, they probably aren't going to think positive or good things about you. Unless they are right about you, in which case you should probably reflect upon that and change your ways. and if appropriate apologize. If they are wrong, then I fail to see why it should affect someone so deeply.
"White Chicks" had its moments. I was amazed that the make-up crew was able to turn the Wayans brothers into white women. It must have taken them hours. Some of the humor was low, and you have to be able to suspend disbelief with the plot line.

I do think we need to distinguish between humor and disrespect, no matter which group of people we are discussing.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#26 Nov 17, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>"White Chicks" had its moments. I was amazed that the make-up crew was able to turn the Wayans brothers into white women. It must have taken them hours. Some of the humor was low, and you have to be able to suspend disbelief with the plot line.

I do think we need to distinguish between humor and disrespect, no matter which group of people we are discussing.
Are the stereotypes that whites can't dance, are nonconfrontational, and white women are clueless and easy humorous or disrespectful?
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#27 Nov 17, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Are the stereotypes that whites can't dance, are nonconfrontational, and white women are clueless and easy humorous or disrespectful?
I find the white women are clueless and easy stereotype disrespectful. Especially when I get slammed up against a wall and molested.

As far as the can't dance stereotype, that mostly applies to white men, and I admit to having joked about that a time or two.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#28 Nov 18, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
I find the white women are clueless and easy stereotype disrespectful. Especially when I get slammed up against a wall and molested.
Where do you encounter such behavior?
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>As far as the can't dance stereotype, that mostly applies to white men, and I admit to having joked about that a time or two.
I don't take offense to it either, but I also think it's one thing for a member of a group to poke fun of stereotypes of ones own group, verses a member of another group to poke fun of stereotypes of another group. Kind of like how Chris Rock can say books are like kryptonite to folks he refers to with the n' word, and that's funny, but a white person would be slammed for speaking in that manner. Point being, there seems to be a double standard.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#29 Nov 18, 2013
Thats 'cause you white.
Everybody kno that when black folk say it, they are empowering themself, they are wresting the word away from the white man and lifting themself up. How else is a brother supposed to lift himself beyond his slave roots if he cant take a denigrating term for black people and denigrate himself with it? Thats equality man!
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Where do you encounter such behavior?
<quoted text>
I don't take offense to it either, but I also think it's one thing for a member of a group to poke fun of stereotypes of ones own group, verses a member of another group to poke fun of stereotypes of another group. Kind of like how Chris Rock can say books are like kryptonite to folks he refers to with the n' word, and that's funny, but a white person would be slammed for speaking in that manner. Point being, there seems to be a double standard.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#30 Nov 18, 2013
Ok, My apologies I was playing on the black stereotype, and being a not black person, I will be labeled something worse than the white devil.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#31 Nov 18, 2013
RACE wrote:
Thats 'cause you white.
Everybody kno that when black folk say it, they are empowering themself, they are wresting the word away from the white man and lifting themself up. How else is a brother supposed to lift himself beyond his slave roots if he cant take a denigrating term for black people and denigrate himself with it? Thats equality man!
<quoted text>
I donít think everyone approaches it with the same understanding in mind. I also donít think itís a term that is always used to denigrate folks. I donít think when two black men who are good friends see each other and say ďwhat up my ní,Ē they are making a personal attack. Itís intended as a term of endearment.

However thatís a somewhat different issue than the double standard I speak of.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#32 Nov 18, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Where do you encounter such behavior?
<quoted text>
I encountered this behavior at backyard birthday party at the home of a new friend just two weeks ago. There were kids, there, too. It was unreal.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#33 Nov 18, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
I encountered this behavior at backyard birthday party at the home of a new friend just two weeks ago. There were kids, there, too. It was unreal.
You must have been dressed all sexy and looking like you wanted some attention, I bet. <<< I'm totally teasing.

What did you say to the person? Did you say anything to the host? I woulda bounced someone who did that to a lady right out of the party.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#34 Nov 18, 2013
Yes, the double standard you spoke of involves these two middle aged, middle income black me who call each other "My n" as a term of endearment, still getting all hostile when their white frien comes over and says the "EXACT SAME THING, IN THE EXACT SAME CONTEXT".
That double standard.
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I donít think everyone approaches it with the same understanding in mind. I also donít think itís a term that is always used to denigrate folks. I donít think when two black men who are good friends see each other and say ďwhat up my ní,Ē they are making a personal attack. Itís intended as a term of endearment.
However thatís a somewhat different issue than the double standard I speak of.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#35 Nov 18, 2013
RACE wrote:
Yes, the double standard you spoke of involves these two middle aged, middle income black me who call each other "My n" as a term of endearment, still getting all hostile when their white frien comes over and says the "EXACT SAME THING, IN THE EXACT SAME CONTEXT".
That double standard.
<quoted text>
Probably true.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#36 Nov 18, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
You must have been dressed all sexy and looking like you wanted some attention, I bet. <<< I'm totally teasing.
What did you say to the person? Did you say anything to the host? I woulda bounced someone who did that to a lady right out of the party.
This is an evening outdoor party, November, central coast California. There's a definite chill in the air. Attire-wise, we're talking jeans, socks, closed shoes, long-sleeved top, sweater, and the jacket is handy.

The only person I said anything to was the friend that I came with because she knows the hostess way better than I do. The guy is a friend or relative of the hostess. I just wanted to leave. We waited until he moved on to his next victim and beat a hasty retreat.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#37 Nov 18, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
This is an evening outdoor party, November, central coast California. There's a definite chill in the air. Attire-wise, we're talking jeans, socks, closed shoes, long-sleeved top, sweater, and the jacket is handy.
I was kidding about that. What a woman wears never justifies that sort of behavior. I don't care if she is topless in a thong.
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>The only person I said anything to was the friend that I came with because she knows the hostess way better than I do. The guy is a friend or relative of the hostess. I just wanted to leave. We waited until he moved on to his next victim and beat a hasty retreat.
Ick.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#38 Nov 18, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I was kidding about that. What a woman wears never justifies that sort of behavior. I don't care if she is topless in a thong.
<quoted text>
Ick.
I know that you were kidding and that you get that it has nothing to do with clothing. Only a warped individual behaves like this. Normal men do not.

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