Amy 1-3-13

[RedheadwGlasses]

DEAR AMY: I’m in seventh grade. Last year, my home-room teacher was really mean.

I know he means well, but his actions to motivate his students were awful. At least once a week, I would walk out of that room in tears because of him.

He always told us he would give us F’s. He threatened that we would never make it to academically advanced classes.(I am in a gifted class.)

Once he forced my sister and me on a field trip that our parents had not signed a permission form for. We had no money to buy lunch, so if our friends had not bought us lunch, we would have gone without food for more than 12 hours.

I am now out of his home room, but I still have him as a teacher for one class. I have stopped crying about him, but I am still scared — not for me, but for his new home room.

I have friends in his class now, and if he made one of them cry (as he made my friends and me cry last year), I might explode into a ball of preteen fury. I just want to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else the way he hurt me, but I don’t know what to do. What is your advice?-- Furious Teen

DEAR FURIOUS: Some teachers are mean bullies, and every student knows it; some teachers are tough and challenging, and students don’t like it. There is a big difference between the two.

Keep your ball of preteen fury under wraps for now, and instead of acting out, give yourself a pat on the back for surviving this challenge.

If this teacher bullied you and other students, the most appropriate thing to do at your age and stage is to take your concerns to your parents and also to the school counselor and/or principal.

Your teacher should not have insisted that you and your sister go on a field trip without parental permission. This places you and the school at some risk, and your parents should notify the appropriate person.

DEAR AMY: When I was 18, I dated a wonderful girl. We had an amazing relationship, and I thought that we would always be together. Unfortunately, she broke up with me when she went away to college. She moved on to dating other guys, and I had trouble adjusting to life without her. This was nine years ago.

I hadn’t spoken to her in five years when I found out that she got married last month. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it really saddened me to learn that she got married.

I’m not sure if I’m sad because I’m still single, struggling to find a teaching job and living at home. I guess I always hoped we would get back together. I look back on our time together, and it brings a smile to my face. It was such an innocent and romantic time.

Can you please help me figure out what I could be feeling inside and why? Is it common for people to feel sad when they find out an ex got married?-- Sad Guy

DEAR SAD: It’s extremely common to feel sad when an ex gets married, even if years have passed since you’ve had contact.

The thing that makes your situation different is that you have been ruminating about this previous relationship for such a long time and are stuck in place.

Your situation — back at home and feeling stuck in your own life — means you are going to have to work harder to heal. However, this situation presents an opportunity for personal growth. I hope you can embrace this challenge as a way to force yourself to move forward.

DEAR AMY: I wanted to thank you for your “Book on Every Bed” literacy campaign. My family and I adopted this idea after reading about it in your column and now putting a wrapped book on the beds of our kids has become part of our holiday tradition!-- Faithful Reader

DEAR FAITHFUL: Thank you so much for spreading this simple idea.

[RedheadwGlasses]

L2: You're feeling sad maybe because you didn't properly mourn the breakup, since you admit you always thought you'd get back together.

L3: How about a Kindle on every bed?

[RACE]

1 Where were your parents during all of this? The job of a teacher is to teach, not preach.

2 Look at it from her point of view, she almost got stuck with a total loser! I bet she aint sad that it ended.

3 Amy's arm is not long enough to pat herself of the back, so she needs someone to do it for her.

[edogxxx]

1- You can get an F in homeroom? I agree with Amy, the "gifted kid" is just mad the teacher isn't bowing at her feet and worshiping her.

2- Cry in your fking beer while I play the world's smallest violin, you goddam pansy.

3- Screw the book and the kindle! How about a wh0re on every bed!?

[RedheadwGlasses]

RACE wrote:

2 Look at it from her point of view, she almost got stuck with a total loser! I bet she aint sad that it ended.

Heh.

AND: You do NOT get arrested for cyber stalking simply for texting your ex. There has to be a restraining order in which you are specifically told to not contact the other person, including via text. So other stuff led up to that.

[RedheadwGlasses]

Woops, I just reread L2. There was no mention of an arrest. Maybe that was ABby today?

[Mister Tonka]

edogxxx wrote:

3- Screw the book and the kindle! How about a wh0re on every bed!?

You screw the book and kindle. I'll screw the wh-0-re.

[RACE]

Your abby was deleted, only post #2 shows.

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

Woops, I just reread L2. There was no mention of an arrest. Maybe that was ABby today?

[Mister Tonka]

LW1: Teacher was out of line when he forced you onto a field trip. Should have reported that. But the rest...you leave the class in tears? Really? Anyone else cry like you? Whiny delicate little flower. Grow some thicker skin.

And I'd love to see this ball of fury in action. Can't even speak up when getting dragged on a field trip you've not been cleared to go on, but you're gonna explode if he makes another whiny friend cry? All talk.

LW2: what dog said

[Matilda77]

L1: "I might explode into a ball of preteen fury". Oh, that's funny.

L2: What...was your problem...exactly?

L3: I pretty much got only books for Christmas this year. Excellent.

[Matilda77]

Mister Tonka wrote:

LW1: Teacher was out of line when he forced you onto a field trip. Should have reported that. But the rest...you leave the class in tears? Really? Anyone else cry like you? Whiny delicate little flower. Grow some thicker skin.
And I'd love to see this ball of fury in action. Can't even speak up when getting dragged on a field trip you've not been cleared to go on, but you're gonna explode if he makes another whiny friend cry? All talk.
LW2: what dog said

We were at a farm league hockey game and the home team got a hat trick. Kid sitting near us appeared to be about 12. He throws his hat on to the ice after watching a few adults do it. Ice officials start grabbing the hats and putting them in a pile. This kid *immediately* bursts in to tears when they wouldn't give him his hat back right then. Like, he's with his friends and they don't say anything. We're just staring, slack jawed.

Apparently, this is normal behavior in some circles, is my point.*shrug* In my day, he'd have gotten made fun of so bad for that. Even if he was a girl...

[RedheadwGlasses]

RACE wrote:

Your abby was deleted, only post #2 shows.
<quoted text>

Weird, i was just there and read the whole letter.

[RACE]

You will be able to because you posted it. sign out, and go to that page, and you wont see it.

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

<quoted text>
Weird, i was just there and read the whole letter.

[Sublime1]

LW1: That was something for your parents to handle.

LW2: Same one call the whambulance! Best thing she ever did was leave your whiny full of self-pity a$s.

[squishymama]

LW1: You need to learn when to unleash that little ball of preteen fury, drama queen. You should have used it when you were forced to go on the field trip without permission slips (HUGE liablity issues for the school, btw) not when a teacher makes your friends cry.

LW2: "Your situation — back at home..."

Back at home? He's never left!

LW3: yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Saluki Rod]

1 Tough-talking little ball of preteen fury aren't you?

2 Grow up, be a man, and figure out WTH you are asking....

3 Whatever

[Kuuipo]

LW1: I'll pass along my mother's wisdom: You're going to have to learn to get along with all kinds of people in this world. If you can accept that fact and take on the challenge when you are very young, you will be well-prepared for college, work, and adult life in general. Forget ratting bully teacher out. Instead, realize that his attitude is his problem and don't take it personally. Be polite and calm. Do your classwork and homework to the best of your ability. In a few months, you'll be out of there, hopefully with a decent grade, and on to a different, hopefully better teacher. And you will have better people management skills. Trust me, you will need them.

LW2: Here's another classic case of "The One That Got Away" syndrome. You are over-romanticizing the relationship. Go out, meet some new women, and move on.

[edogxxx]

squishymama wrote:

LW2: "Your situation — back at home..."
Back at home? He's never left!

A 27 yo unemployed teacher who lives with his parents! What a catch for any lovely woman!

[Julie]

LW1: You're a whiny drama queen.

LW2: You're a whiny drama queen.